Best Practices – Blanchard LeaderChat

Life Transition Has You Asking Big Questions? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 28 Jun 2025 11:26:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I am a director in the finance department of a national restaurant/foodservice company. I have always liked my job, brought a lot of creative problem-solving to my team, and enjoyed hosting events to create bonds among people in my organization.

My last kid just graduated from high school and left for a six-week trip abroad. My two kids in college have summer jobs away from home. I thought I couldn’t wait to finally have the kids all leave the house so I could have more time to myself and more time to work—but now that it has finally happened, I seem to be adrift. All I have is time, and I don’t know what to do with it.

It feels so strange. I don’t recognize myself. For the last twenty years I have been in constant motion. Even though I’ve loved being a mom, I’ve resented the never-ending grind. But now that I don’t feel the clock ticking, I can barely focus on work.

Ever since Covid, my entire team has worked from home. I am happily single but never felt lonely until now. Maybe I’m just really sad—the empty nest thing—because I have so been looking forward to this time. But it feels like all of a sudden I have ADHD or something.

Have you ever heard of anything like this? Do you think there is something wrong with me?

Weirded Out

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Dear Weirded Out,

There is nothing wrong with you. You are going to be fine. I promise.

Humans vastly underestimate how destabilizing it is to change our daily routines. For twenty-plus years you were on the clock, and all of a sudden you have a surfeit of time. It’s as if you had loud music playing 24/7, you learned how to dance to it all day, every day for twenty years, and someone suddenly turned the music off. The silence is so deafening it can be hard to think. You developed an entire set of skills, disciplines, and practices that made you feel productive, accomplished, and competent. Now, all you need to do is…start all over again.

The working-mom fantasy of having more time to work is common; and, like most fantasies, the reality is often a letdown. Because, let’s face it, you probably already work plenty.

One general principle that might be helpful to understand is this: just because a big change is desirable and makes you happy doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to grieve the chapter that is coming to a close. All the big, happy life transitions (graduating school, getting married, starting jobs, having children, buying homes, moving to a new location), no matter how welcome, require leaving all kinds of beloved things behind. What that means is just because you are thrilled to have made it to end of the working-mom marathon doesn’t negate whatever other emotions you may be having.

Here are a few ideas you might consider to help you through this big transition:

Take some time off. Go for long walks, take some yoga classes, meditate, get a massage. Anything you can do to clear your head so that you can hear the soft voice inside that is offering clarity about your heart’s desire.
Maybe avail yourself of your company’s EAP to do a short course of therapy to unpack all of the feelings you are experiencing. Identifying, naming, and feeling them will be a relief and will help you to re-focus on what is in front of you.
Take a quiet moment to write down all the things you have been putting off for so long. Jettison the things you don’t care about and prioritize the ones that still matter. Choose one thing that is appealing and make a plan to go after it. Learn pickleball, get a puppy, discover ballroom dancing, train for a marathon, find a cooking class. Whatever makes your heart beat a little faster.
Make a list of the people you care about who’ve dropped to the bottom of your priority list and make it your business to reconnect. Commit to either rebuilding those relationships or building new ones.

I would urge you to take it slow and start small. You don’t want to cram your life so full that you immediately go back to your old rhythms. Just because it might feel comfortable doesn’t mean it is right for you. It took you years to shape your former daily rhythms and it will take some time to experiment and find new ones. You will be able to recognize yourself in a new form soon enough (perhaps just in time for one of your kids to boomerang back home again).

Just kidding. Kind of.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services as well as a key facilitator of Blanchard’s Leadership Coach Certification course. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.

Dealing with a Disorganized Boss? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 21 Jun 2025 11:15:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

My boss is driving me nuts. I work in corporate communications at a complicated global corporation with a fast-paced, high-pressure environment. I am often given assignments with tight deadlines on top of my regular day-to-day work.

My boss will send me emails with assignments, using a request format that I thought was smart when I started. If only my boss would pay more attention when she fills it out.

The request calls for details about the audience, key messages, preferred tone, urgency level, and timing. I make the effort to weave in the company values and I put a lot of thought into each draft.

Lately, my boss has had an issue with every single piece I’ve written—but it is always because she left out something critical. Her comments contain some variation of “Oops, I forgot to mention such and such; could you redo this and weave that in?”

This throws off my schedule for the day and creates a last-minute fire drill. I feel like (1) she must have forgotten how much I have on my plate; (2) she doesn’t care enough to put thought into the original request; or, on my worst days, (3) she is trying to sabotage me.

I like the company and my co-workers, but I now dread my boss’s feedback. I have completely lost faith in her. I don’t really want to try to find another job, but I find myself fantasizing about doing just that.

How can I get her to cut it out?

Just So Annoyed

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Dear Just So Annoyed,

I hear your frustration, and I can relate—but you aren’t going to like this, so put on your seat belt.

My experience is that people who quit their job to escape an unresolved communication issue will encounter a new version of the exact same problem in their next job. You can certainly choose to jump ship, but this won’t be the last time you have to deal with an imperfect, distracted boss so you might as well use this opportunity to learn how to deal with it.

The question, as I understand it, is: how can you get your boss to give you all the information you need the first time so that you can deliver exactly what is needed?

First, it might help you to find a bit a grace for your boss by putting yourself in her shoes. I suspect this is a recent problem, as you noted that this behavior has shown up “lately.” It is possible that she also has too much on her plate, or perhaps she is wrangling with some personal problems. Regardless, the more she feels your judgment and annoyance, the higher the chance that she will make errors when working on a brief for you and eventually will start assigning the tasks to someone more easy-going so she can avoid your ire. That is a career-limiting eventuality that you probably want to avoid because, if you do decide to leave your position, you want to make sure you do it in good standing.

Once you make the choice to help your boss give you what you need in a timely manner, the next step is to figure out how to do that. One idea is to schedule a quick chat, which will give her the mental space she needs to capture all of the details before you start the work. Repeat what has been requested, and simply ask “What else?” or “Is there anything missing?” Many people think out loud, and when they become accustomed to working with someone super competent, they can start to believe (or at least hope) that you can read their minds.

If you can’t get fifteen minutes on her calendar, you might change your work style and spend less time making the first draft perfect, knowing it will need a second pass. If you go with this option be sure to mention that, in light of the recent need for revisions, you are switching up your approach and will polish the piece once you are sure that all points are captured.

Finally, I recently read somewhere that anyone who isn’t using AI in their work is almost certainly going to be replaced by someone who is. I’d like to think that isn’t true, but I suspect it is. The kind of work you are doing is exactly the kind of thing AI can help you with—so I highly recommend that you learn how to leverage it. Of course, you should check your company’s policy and use only the AI the company allows. I have spoken to many people who have avoided AI because they feel threatened by it, but that is also a career-limiting attitude.

Instead of getting mad at your boss, try a collaborative approach. Experiment with how you can help her give you what you need to do the best possible job you can. Helping her to help you will build trust—and it won’t go unnoticed. Change your work protocols to accommodate your boss’s absent-mindedness, and leverage technology to take time and effort out of your tasks. The world is only spinning faster, so anything you can do to make things go more smoothly for yourself, your teammates, and your boss will serve you well.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Just Been Asked to Take Over the Company Blog? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 14 Jun 2025 11:30:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I recently joined a marketing team for a not-quite-startup in the technology space. It has been going well.

My boss recently asked me if I would take over writing a weekly blog for our website. I didn’t say “no” right out of the gate—I asked if I could look at what has been done and think about it.

I have reservations. I feel like blogs are old news (no offense) and we should be focused on video on social media. We do have someone doing that, but I think I could do a better job. Also, I don’t think I can replicate the way the previous person did the blog. I would have to come up with a new approach, but I don’t know what it would be. And I am extremely concerned about getting writer’s block, which happened all the time when I was in school.

How do you deal with it? I don’t see how I can come up with something new every week. I think saying “no” might be career-limiting, but the whole thing scares me. Would love your thoughts.

Yikes

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Dear Yikes,

I take no offense. Video is in; the written word is out. I can’t argue with you there. However, you somehow found this blog, so that tells you something. Your department must be tracking the metrics on the blog, and they probably wouldn’t bother keeping it if there weren’t some engagement. Maybe you can find out more about the demographic that reads the blog. I’ve always assumed it is people over 40, but I’ve been wrong about that. Many people find video too slow and can read much faster than people talk, so they will skip video.

There is a lot to unpack here. I will start with how to approach it with your boss, and then deal with the writing aspect.

First, good on you for asking your boss if you could think about it! So many feel pressure to respond right away, but that is often self-imposed. What if you were to keep up the thoughtful approach and negotiate a trial run for, say, a three-month period? This will give you time to find your feet. After three months, you may decide that it isn’t for you or that you enjoy it and are good at it. You may find out you can comfortably manage only every other week, and ask to share the responsibility with someone else.

You are right that if you were to take on the task, you would have to find your own voice, angle, and, of course, what the heck you are going to say. It is, in fact, daunting, but the only way to do it is to, well—do it.

There might be some value in thinking about what you want your brand to be. There is an opportunity to represent your organization, of course, and presumably that brand work has been done. But if your name is attached to the work, it will serve you to think about your own values and purpose. You will want to develop a consistent tone that gets connected to you and how you are perceived. There is also a chance to develop yourself as an expert and maybe even a thought leader.

So—what interests you about what your company does and how people use its products? What is going on in the industry? What new research is being done? You may find that you have all kinds of things to say. What will make writing a little easier, besides discipline, is having a strong and consistent point of view.

I think it is fair to share with your boss that you have some ideas for the social videos. You probably know better than to trash the colleague currently in charge of it—but might there be a way to dovetail the blog with the video? I am just making this up, but why not try to create something brand new? Maybe you could create short videos that go with each blog. You will have more ideas than I will, so seize the opportunity to get the company to change things up and experiment.

Now let’s talk about writer’s block and the relentless pressure of a weekly column. I will tell you the truth: the only thing I think more about than my weekly blog is what I am going to make for dinner. I think about it in my sleep. I never don’t think about it. But I have also developed a ritual and a routine, which I learned from working with a client who was once responsible for the #1 technology newsletter in the pre-internet era. He was nearly driven mad, so we worked diligently to develop a sequence of habits and practices that kept him on track and eliminated the devastating emotional toll of procrastination and the intense cramming at the end of the month.

Here are some tips:

In his book Put It In Writing, Albert Joseph contends that a lot of what stops writers is getting tangled up between the “what” to say and the “how” to say it. When the writer separates the two – the point that needs to be made and exactly how to make the point – everything becomes easier.
Keep a document where you can jot down ideas as they occur to you. You think you will remember, but you won’t. If you are really stuck at crunch time, hopefully there will be something in your idea log that sparks. One advantage of an advice column is that the ideas come from the readers, but it can take a while to get a decent flow of interesting letters going.
If you are stuck, go for a walk, dedicating the time to the writing task and recording your thoughts as you go. Nobody even notices anymore when people walk along talking at their phone, so you don’t have to worry about looking like a lunatic. Let your word app transcribe your voice recording and see what you have that you may be able to work with. Walking almost always does the trick. In fact, research shows that getting outside in nature and moving increases creative problem-solving capacity by a staggering 50 percent.
If you already have a good idea but can’t get the jumble of points to flow, try mind mapping. You can find a step-by-step primer on how to mind map here—but you don’t need software to do it. Just a blank piece of paper will do—old school and cost free!
To generate ideas, identify the people in your organization who seem to be up to interesting things and ask if you can interview them about what they are paying attention to, what they are struggling with, or what they have learned recently. This approach has the added benefit of meeting and developing relationships with more people in the company, which is always good, never bad.
Find a reliable thought partner. Some people don’t know what they are thinking until something pops out of their mouth. You may have someone in mind already, or you may have to test out a few likely candidates.
Finally, if the company blog has been around long enough, go through the archive to see if you can find anything that could use an updated take. Things in technology change fast, and adding to a conversation that has already been started can be valuable.

The only way to find out if you are up to the task is to try. Share your reservations with your boss and build yourself an out if you find it just isn’t your jam. There are a lot of opportunities that come with success, though, and you may be really glad you took the chance.

Good luck!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

People Aren’t Stepping Up for a Senior Leadership Role? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 07 Jun 2025 10:19:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I manage R&D for a large medical device company. I am at the tail end of my work life. I wanted to retire at the end of this year, but our executive team is encouraging me to stay until I feel comfortable that someone on my team can step into the role.

Right now, I am not seeing a likely replacement. The job requires a wide mix of skills and activities. Although I have shared development ideas with my direct reports, I don’t see anyone doing anything differently.

I just sense that no one really cares much about the job or has the ambition to do anything other than the bare minimum. How can I light a fire under these people?

Where Is the Spark?

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Dear Where Is the Spark?

It might be you, my friend. It sounds like you have made some suggestions that your folks may not quite know what to do with. And they may not know why they should bother.

Getting your people fired up to develop themselves for a senior leadership role requires you to intentionally and systematically tap into their dreams and aspirations, understand their identity—how they see themselves, and convince them of their agency—the extent to which they are empowered to go beyond where they think they can go. It’s up to you to create an environment where each of your people sees what’s possible, why it matters, and how they can grow into it.

Here are some ideas for how you might approach creating such an environment:

1. Share a Vision of What Leadership in Your Organization Can Be

You can do this with your entire team, in small doses.

Describe what great leadership looks like in your organization—not just in competencies, but in impact.
Share examples of leaders in your company who are admired. Why are they effective?
Talk about the difference leaders can make at a senior level. Tell stories. You might say something like: “Leadership here isn’t about position—it’s about shaping direction, driving culture, and building something bigger than yourself.”

The challenge with this idea is that you will also be held to the standards you talk about.

2. Spot and Call Out Potential

People rarely see leadership potential in themselves unless someone points it out.

Tell individuals specifically what strengths or behaviors you’ve seen in them that signal leadership potential.
Make it personal and credible: “I see you as someone who could be a strategic leader here because you consistently…”

Don’t wait for them to ask. Plant a seed anytime you see something a person can build on.

3. Connect to Personal Purpose

Deep motivation comes from alignment with identity and values. Who is each team member, at their core? How do they see themselves? What matters most to them?

You might ask: “What kind of impact do you want to have?” or “What problems do you care most about solving?” or “What interests you most about what we do here?
Once you get some answers, you can connect to ways that senior leadership might offer them a bigger lever to engage in activities that mean the most to them.

4. Share Responsibility

Growth accelerates when people feel responsible for something bigger than their job. Look at what you do daily and figure out what you can delegate. Start out small, and build.

Assign stretch responsibilities that align with senior leadership competencies, such as cross-functional work, strategy development, or mentoring others.
Let them lead change, not just manage tasks.
Frame it: “This is a great chance to build the skill set senior leaders need.”

5. Make Development Visible and Structured

If development feels fuzzy or unsupported, it can easily fall by the wayside—which is what has been happening for your people.

Build or recommend a clear pathway: rotational projects, leadership coaching, mentoring, strategic courses. Build on strengths or identify specific gaps they can work on.
Use individual development plans (IDPs) tied to specific leadership competencies. If your organization already has these, use them. If it doesn’t, create the ones you think are most critical. Start with one or two and be careful not to overpower people with too much, too soon. The key is to start with low-hanging fruit. What is a small thing that might be possible and would make a big difference?

6. Celebrate Progress and Model the Way

People need to see development as a rewarding investment; otherwise, it just feels like extra work.

Acknowledge each person’s accomplishments and growth in public settings. This reinforces motivation and can inspire others in the group to rise as well.
Share your own development journey, including struggles. This normalizes growth and makes leadership feel attainable. It would require you to be vulnerable, which could be uncomfortable. But it will humanize you and remind your people that you weren’t always the boss.

You will learn a lot about your people as you try some of these suggestions. The obstacles will become much clearer. You may uncover irrational fears that you can allay. You may find that some of your folks are already overwhelmed by their workload and don’t have the bandwidth to take on anything else. You may uncover some cynicism; e.g., you may hear that the organization is perceived as very political. Cynicism is data that can help you pinpoint assumptions about falsehoods that you can dispel, or about realities you hadn’t noticed or considered important. You can help everyone shift their mindset and support them in navigating obstacles.

This will be a lot more work for you—and, of course, for them. But if they know you care and are paying attention, I guarantee a few will rise to the top. And then you can retire!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Offhand Comment Has You Feeling Like an Imposter? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 19 Apr 2025 11:01:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

My daughter told me I have “imposter syndrome.” I’ve done some research and I don’t think I have that at all. I think it’s something else. But I am definitely struggling with something.

I have an unusually high IQ, graduated high school two years early, and attended a top university on a full scholarship. I was offered a spot in a top graduate program that I completed with honors. I have been in senior leadership positions for over twenty years. I’m not bragging, just trying to set context.

About 18 months ago I was tapped to join the executive team of my organization, a global publicly traded company. When I told my best friend, she laughed and said, “Oh, they are nailing their DEI quota by having a black girl on the team!”

I just can’t get it out of my head. It’s true that the team consists of me, a lot of white guys, and one Indian guy who oversees IT. I hate that anyone thinks I have my job because of my sex or my race. I get along well with every other member of the executive team. The CEO and the chairman of the board call me all the time to get my take on the economy and our strategic plan and position. And yet—what if I did get this job as a token? Is that imposter syndrome?

I have never once doubted myself until now. It is distracting and it worries me. And with the way things are going, now I am also worried that the need to have a diverse executive team is no longer an imperative, and that I will be summarily fired when I least expect it.

Am I nuts? I am hoping you can provide some perspective.

Token CFO

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Dear Token CFO,

You aren’t nuts. And you aren’t suffering from imposter syndrome or tokenism. It seems what you might be struggling with is the weight of a bunch of yuck and fear that other people are projecting onto you. And when it’s people who love you and (in theory) want the best for you, it is harder to interpret and to insulate yourself from. This, to me, is simply an example of the dark side of success, which is seldom talked about. It would make sense that the people who love you most would be nothing but supportive, but that is rarely the case. When someone achieves great heights, it can be threatening to loved ones and evoke all kinds of unexpected fears:

Fear that you might become such a big shot that you don’t have time or space for them
Fear that you might have huge success only to be bitterly disappointed
Fear that you will develop an overly inflated view of yourself and your personality will change

And that’s just for starters. None of these fears are conscious—if they were, you wouldn’t have to put up with this nonsense.

Let’s look at this rationally. It sounds like you are comfortable with that.

I asked my pal Betty Dannewitz, our resident expert on imposter syndrome, to weigh in, and she confirms your assessment. She says:

“Imposter syndrome is defined as believing you are inadequate and incompetent despite evidence that indicates you are skilled and quite successful. TCFO doesn’t have imposter syndrome, but what her best friend said is giving her feelings of imposter syndrome. The doubt was planted and that is unfortunate.”

Betty goes on to say: “Remember that feelings lie most of the time. So, regardless of how TCFO is feeling, the evidence proves she is competent and capable and they want and need her in that position. She said herself that they call on her for perspective and insight. If she were a token, they would have already checked the box and moved on. In fact, based on the evidence, she is an asset. Believe the data, not the doubt.”

The thing about imposter syndrome is that it can become a catch-all term for any reasonable doubts we may have about ourselves. And who doesn’t have occasional doubts? I have met a few people who truly never doubt themselves and I will admit that they kind of scare me. A little doubt is healthy. It means you are self-aware and you are focused on continual improvement.

Let’s talk about the token thing. As Betty noted, the evidence suggests that your friend’s quip is simply untrue. Betty also opened her response to me with “Nice friend, huh?” which echoed my thought exactly. But let’s remember that the remark came from a dark place that has nothing to do with your reality.

I can understand how you might be worried in this current climate, but there is no reason to look for trouble where none exists. And here is the question I always ask clients if they worry that they were given an opportunity for reasons other than pure merit: What if it were true? What if you got the job because your father is friends with the CEO? What if you got the job because they needed to fill a quota? What if you got the job because someone wants something from you? So what? Because in the end, if you want a job and someone gives it to you, all there is to do is a good job. To prove yourself worthy of your good fortune (if only to yourself). To rise to the occasion, bring your best, and crush it—which you are apparently doing.

Doubts are normal, my friend. Doubt is simply a facet of fear, and fear can be useful. Doubt and fear only become a problem when they stop you from taking smart risks, doing your best work, and fulfilling your potential. You can treat your doubt like a character in the story of your life and talk back to it when it takes up too much space in your head. One of my clients named her doubt Tina—short for Doubtina—and she used to say things like, “Oh, Tina showed up big time this week. We made a detailed list of all her concerns, and it was clarifying. I definitely saw some areas that I could pay more attention to. Then I sent her on her way.”

You can be kind and forgiving to your daughter and your friend, knowing they probably mean well. Just because they are afraid—of losing you or for you—doesn’t mean you have to be. Just keep building those relationships and being your brilliant self.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Need Help Advocating for Yourself? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 12 Apr 2025 12:21:00 +0000

Hello Madeleine,

I am 44, a devout Christian, on the autism spectrum, and working on my PhD at a seminary. From the day I came here I have had one job: I work at the campus post office. The pay is horrible, but I have a Patreon so I don’t need as much as others. I mainly like to interact with the students, especially in the hope of meeting a lady someday to remarry.

Generally, I get along pretty well with my boss. She helps me in many areas with social relationships. Working with me I think has really informed her on autism.

Some time ago, I told her I wanted to learn how to count the money we receive at the end of the day. I was extremely nervous doing this, fearing I would fail, but at the same time I wanted to impress. I always had her check my work before submitting anything. One day, the account came out $200 over. We don’t know what happened, but I wasn’t allowed to help anymore.

Then we hired a new girl. Did she get to do that? Yep. Did it stab me in the heart every time? Yep. Now that girl is gone and we have hired another new girl. I heard my boss tell her that no one would handle the money but my boss. Then a few weeks ago, I saw the new girl being trained on it.

It devastated me. Not only that, but this girl and I have clashed repeatedly. She is a Miss Manners type who is highly extroverted and expects me to answer questions that I consider small talk. I never respond. I work with her only on Wednesdays and I dread them. Last Wednesday was the worst—I could hear her counting the money in the back and it caused me terrible pain.

I don’t want to be here when that girl is here. Every time I see her, I feel ashamed and get another reminder that I am seen as incapable.

My philosophy is you should never give up on someone who wants to learn. I have been given up on, and it hurts. I know I can do the job, regardless of what anyone says. I know I can. It’s data entry. I do that regularly. If I can’t do a simple job like that, I might as well quit PhD work right now because that’s a lot tougher.

I am talking with my therapist about this and writing out a response. Until then, what can I do? My therapist says there is a triangulation in relationship now. I go to work and I feel like the outsider.

I don’t think this is malicious at all. My boss has even said it’s not personal, but I wish it was. I would rather be told “You’re not doing the money because I don’t like you” than “You’re not doing the money because I think you’re incapable.”

I know this might sound like a small thing compared to many other business struggles, but for me, it’s huge, and it’s something I’m considering as I look ahead to my career as a teacher. I never want to give up on a student who wants to learn.

Devastated

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Dear Devasted,

Thank you for sharing your experience, I think it will resonate with many people. The first thing I want to say is that this does not sound like a small thing. I think it is painful and distracting for everyone when their boss (1) passes unilateral judgment and writes them off as limited; (2) does not communicate openly when an error is made; and (3) blatantly favors other employees.

This is your job, a significant part of your life, and it’s about being seen, heard, and respected as a human being. I might even go so far as to say that it is huge. I also think if something like this happened to anyone, including me, it would be incredibly upsetting.

My first instinct when I read your letter was to go to my books and reach out to colleagues who are neurodivergent for their perspective. One in particular had this to say: “They weren’t told they made a mistake—they were shown, silently, when someone else got a chance that they didn’t. And that silent message effectively told them: I don’t trust you.

“As someone on the autism spectrum, I can relate to this. We typically experience social interactions differently, sometimes more directly, sometimes more deeply, sometimes with a heightened sensitivity to fairness, consistency, or unspoken rules.

“And it’s not a flaw—it’s a way of perceiving and processing that is valid and valuable. But it can also make situations like this one—where there’s ambiguity, unspoken judgment, or subtle shifts in trust—feel especially painful or confusing. It’s not just about what happened. It’s about what wasn’t said, and the space that leaves for hurt.”

This made perfect sense to me. I agree that when the error was made, it doesn’t sound like any effort was made to discuss it or to go back and figure out how it happened.

Mistakes are to be learned from, not punished. Your boss simply ducked responsibility as the person supervising you to get to the bottom of what happened and make sure it would never happen again.

I share your philosophy that no one should ever give up on someone who wants to learn. And I agree that if you are pursuing a PhD you must have enough going for you from a brain power standpoint to master the task in question.

You say that working with you has “informed her on autism,” but clearly not enough. I am speculating here, but I suspect that the reason she dodged telling the truth about the error is that she was afraid to get it wrong. Little does she know that her dodge has caused a much bigger issue, which is almost always the case—for anyone.

I understand that you would probably prefer to walk on coals than have the hard conversation with your boss. But I also know learning to have difficult conversations with colleagues and bosses—and, in time, with your students—is going to help you in the long term to advocate for yourself when people don’t understand how your brain works differently from theirs.

If having the conversation is simply too daunting, which I understand, perhaps you can write your boss a note explaining how this whole situation has affected you and ask for a second chance at mastering the task. If you go this route, refrain from blaming. Simply explain how you feel and that you are committed to constantly learning and improving—and the only way you can do that is with her feedback and support.

Almost everyone who works with others needs to learn to advocate for themselves, which helps bosses and coworkers understand what their strengths and communication preferences are. It can take time, sometimes years, for most people to increase their comfort level with this.

Let’s talk about the new girl (TNG). I think your strong allergy to her is based on two separate things:

she is oblivious to your difference and her apparently natural behavior feels like an attack to you, and
she was given the task you want.

The first thing you can do something about, and the second thing is not her fault, but your boss’s. I can’t speak to the triangulation issue as that is outside of my expertise. But I will share that it probably isn’t fair for you to blame the new girl for your boss’s poor communication and avoidance of her duty as your boss to be clear with you.

You can continue to try to avoid TNG, or you could practice advocating for yourself with her. The worst thing that can happen is that it doesn’t go well and you will be totally justified in seeking to avoid her.

I asked ChatGPT to help me with an example of what you might say (based on what you shared in your letter) or what you might put in writing to give to her. This is what it came up with.

“Hi! I’m on the autism spectrum, which means I process information and social interactions a bit differently from other people. I really appreciate clear, direct communication—things like being specific, saying what you mean, and avoiding sarcasm or vague hints. I also tend to be very introverted, so I can feel overwhelmed or drained in high-energy, fast-paced social settings or when interacting with very extroverted personalities. Slower-paced, one-on-one conversations help me stay grounded and engaged. I may need a bit of time to respond or ask for clarification, but I truly value connection and appreciate your patience and understanding.”

Of course this may be all wrong, but you get the gist. I got this idea from my daughter who had surgery on her vocal cords and couldn’t talk for an entire month. She created little note cards to help others understand and navigate her limitation. She would hand them out when she needed to interact with people, and they were very understanding and kind.

Finally, and I would never do this if you hadn’t shared that you are a devout Christian, I will remind you that Jesus spoke often about giving grace to others—through forgiveness, compassion, and mercy—even when it’s hard. While He didn’t often use the exact word grace, His teachings and actions were all about extending it. Jesus urged us to forgive generously:

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” (Matthew 18:21–22 NIV)

I in no way want to minimize the pain you have endured by pointing out that the real opportunity here is for you to practice and get better at advocating for yourself by explaining to people how you are different from them and teaching them how to get the best from you. It may be the hardest task you assign yourself, and you may spend the rest of your life mastering it. But the combination of giving people grace and getting good at helping them understand you will make an appreciable difference in all areas of your life.

Love, Madeleine

PS: I just have to tell you that I once had a job in a flower shop where I had to count the money in the register at the end of the day to make sure it matched the total on the register ticket and it was a nightmare, so your predicament strikes very close to my heart.

The only way I could do it was to close the shop and go in the back room and not let anyone talk to me until I got it right. My boss always wanted to chat during this time, and she could count and chat at the same time, so she called me an idiot. TO MY FACE! People still used that language in the 80s. I thought I was one, too, at some level. I barely made it through school because of math.

It turns out that I have a learning disability called dyscalculia, but nobody knew anything about that back then. I only mention it because I had a lot of mean teachers, some of whom accused me of being lazy or willfully stupid. Nevertheless, I managed to run my own business, get a master of science degree, and I now keep the books for my family. So, keep the faith!

About Madeleine

Not Sure When to Let Your Boss Know You’re Leaving? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 05 Apr 2025 11:44:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior leader in a highly specialized digital publishing organization and I have about 14 direct reports. Organizationally, I’m third in seniority. My plan is, by the end of 2025, to transition out of this role and into my own coaching and consulting business. I’d be working with some clients, but primarily in an adjacent field.

I am currently working on building up the coaching business on nights, weekends, and off hours. I’ve been able to grow what had been a side hustle into what looks to be a successful final chapter for me (I’m 60 years old) without it affecting my productivity in my current role. My boss is aware that I do this coaching and consulting work, but at this point he is not aware of my plan to transition into coaching full-time in early 2026.

My questions are: when is the appropriate time to tell my boss I’m planning to exit, and how do you recommend I share the news? I want to give him adequate lead time as I think this news will create some significant disruption, and I would like to be involved in handing off the baton to whomever is next to step into my role. But I don’t want to risk my boss overreacting and ending our relationship before I am ready to go.

Thanks for your wisdom. I just want to be—

Smart

________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Smart,

First, congratulations on creating a successful side hustle while working full-time. That takes a lot of focus and energy, and it is a huge accomplishment. And welcome to the coaching profession. I hope it brings you all the fulfillment it has given me.

I am struck by how thoughtful you are about your transition out, as you clearly have the success of your company at heart. Your question is interesting on many levels, and it is hard to give you a definitive answer without knowing your company’s culture and your boss. But just the fact that you are concerned about what to me sounds like an irrational overreaction is a clue that your boss values loyalty over proper planning. So, not to be annoying, but as a coach you will recognize the approach: Given what you know, what advice would you give a friend in your position?

I have such a high value for clarity, communication, and planning that it’s hard for me to get my head around a boss who wouldn’t appreciate the heads up, welcome your help in preparing your successor, and wish you Godspeed when you are ready to go. In fact, most leaders I work with would appreciate knowing what someone they depend on is thinking about the future. But you do have concerns, and they come from somewhere, so I encourage you to heed them.

It is the norm in most companies to encourage senior leaders to create a succession plan and actively develop their successors. It doesn’t sound like that is true in your company, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still do exactly that. I urge you to identify any likely candidates among your 14-ish direct reports. Once you’ve got your short list, you might delegate parts of your job or assign these folks tasks that will ensure they learn and develop. At least one or two of them will show evidence that they can take on your job.

The rule of thumb for senior executives is 60 days’ notice—ideally, 90 days for a super smooth transition. If you are really worried that your boss will fly off the handle and retaliate, I would suggest that you wait until you are ready to go and offer a range of transition time from two weeks (which is standard) to 60 days. That way you take care of yourself, you don’t run the risk of being ejected before you are ready, and you can flex as needed if you are asked to craft a sensible transition. Be ready with recommendations and your supporting reasoning for likely replacements. That would be the sane, responsible thing to do, and you’ll be able to hold your head high no matter what happens. You may or may not get to participate in the passing of the baton—that will be up to your boss.

I wish you continued stamina and lots of luck in this next chapter you are creating.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

CEO Is Derailing Your Communication Plan for a Change Initiative? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 01 Feb 2025 12:49:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I work in communications in a multi-national, publicly owned company. I report to our CHRO with a dotted line to marketing. My job is to make sure our messaging is consistent across all our countries.

Our CEO and his executive team recently rolled out a complex strategic vision for the next five years, which included a small but significant reorganization and some new plans. I created the initial coms plan, which my boss took to the executive team. They made a few tweaks and signed off on it. I was so proud of the plan—I used research about change management to create it.

The big vision and the plans were announced at a town hall meeting. It went fine. Some people were freaked out, but that was to be expected. The next week I delivered the follow-up script and deck to the executive team for the FAQ meeting that had been scheduled, only to be told it had been canceled and that I should reschedule it for a month out. I complied, only to have it canceled again. I asked what date might work and got crickets. I have had it on my 1×1 agenda every week, but my boss cancels often as there are always more pressing issues. In the meantime, the entire coms plan is now a full quarter behind. In my last meeting with my boss, he informed me that the CEO doesn’t really see what he is trying to make happen as a “change” and doesn’t see the need to continue focusing on it. Our CEO apparently said, “If we keep talking about it, it will just encourage people to complain more. I want people to just get on with it.”

I get multiple emails a day from department heads asking when the FAQs are going to be ready, along with other questions I don’t have answers to. It is not my place to send anything without my boss’s say so. I feel completely helpless to influence what is looking to me like a train headed off a cliff.

I have been working in companies long enough to know anything that’s different from the status quo is a change, and change needs to be managed carefully and supported with lots of information and conversation. How can I influence my boss to influence the CEO? I am so frustrated.

Helpless

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Helpless

Yours is not the first CEO to be a technically brilliant, gifted strategist who is utterly clueless about how humans operate. Nor is he the first who fails to listen to the people hired to help them accomplish their goals. Is it ego? Self-regard? Hubris? Who knows?

Your CHRO should know better than to allow what is certainly a huge change to go unmanaged. I hate to say it, but it is on his head if the whole thing flops miserably. Cold comfort, I know. But you did your job. You created the plan—it really is not your fault if it is ignored.

You must ask yourself what is within your control here. What if you were to suggest creating a site on the company’s intranet in which you can post the FAQs? Perhaps you could create an email address where people can send questions, just so you can show your boss that the problem is escalating. Instead of waiting for a 1×1, email him to suggest these things, and let him know that unless you hear otherwise, you will go ahead. That way, you take care of people who need answers and you have covered your tail in case your CEO gets upset. There is a good chance he won’t even notice.

Part of me wants to suggest that you write a letter to your CEO explaining that sharing suggestions for what he can do to vastly improve the chances that his people will “get on with it”. But I know in my heart that it will probably not result in anything positive for you. If you thought it had a chance of working, you would have already done that. Continue to surface the issue with your own boss until he tells you to stop. Maybe you could send him a letter outlining the best practices, with supporting research and statistics making the case that he could use with the CEO. But you must guard against being too attached to an outcome.

I am sure you have plenty of other work to do, so figure out what you can do without burning a bridge and let it go. If you continue to nurse your disappointment, it will only end up hurting you.

You might, of course, consider finding work at a company where the leadership is better and you think you can make an impact. There are some decent leaders out there—just not very many.

You can’t take it to heart when people in power refuse to listen to reason. Just do your best. That’s all you can do. Chalk it up to experience, try to find the humor, and move on.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

People Are Holding Back During Innovation Meetings? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Tue, 03 Dec 2024 21:13:40 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I am a supervisor and team leader in a technology company. We have several products on the market that are doing well. All my projects are in new products—a combination of market research and product testing; and all my teams are cross-functional—project management, software developers, marketing and customer support, and designers. The timelines for going to market keep shrinking and the demand to get high-quality products to the testing stage (i.e., in perfect condition) keeps growing.

I have noticed a shift in my teams. People are getting quieter in meetings, though the volume of general grumbling is growing. I finally asked someone I trust if they have noticed it, and she told me that people have developed a fear of speaking up.

When I asked her opinion about why this is happening, she wasn’t able to point to one thing. I think it may be the constant pressure to get new products to market faster—because to innovate, we have to experiment and make mistakes.

I have spoken to my boss about it and he said the only solution is to innovate faster. I get that, but I also know that getting new things right takes the time it takes. I’m not at all sure what to do to get us back into the rhythm that always worked well before.

I would appreciate any ideas you have.

Faster & Smarter

____________________________________________________________________________

Dear Faster & Smarter,

Well, something happened. Is this all your teams? Something is off here. This doesn’t sound like a response to the constant “better, faster, cheaper” refrain that anyone working in business is now accustomed to. People don’t disappear like snails into their shells for no reason.

Your people are acting as if they feel threatened. You can waste a lot of time and energy speculating about what it is, or you can come right out and ask them. Britney Cole, our chief innovation officer, says that Enemy #1 of innovation is fear, so getting to bottom of what people are afraid of is one possible avenue for you. Either they are afraid of something you haven’t registered, or they are afraid of you.

You can meet with each whole team or with individual people, share your observation that something has changed, and simply ask questions:

Did something happen that I am unaware of?
What am I missing here?
Is there something I have done or said that has made an impact I did not intend?
Is there something that someone else has done or said that has resulted in people feeling uncomfortable or unsafe?
Is there something you think I should know about?

Our Fearless Innovation program proposes that leading innovation calls for grace, curiosity, and proactivity, and that the environment as a whole needs to support innovation. Your investigation will reveal that there is something you can do to be a more effective leader, or that there is messaging/feedback from the organization that is causing the dampened spirits.

This article about leading innovation might spark some ideas for you and help you shape more targeted questions. And here is an eBook that details the factors that encourage innovation in organizations.

You may not like what you discover. Either you will hear something about yourself that you need to work on or you will see a larger pattern in the organization that will require you to step up and advocate for your teams. Hopefully, you will uncover enough intel to help you craft a plan to increase the sense of safety and trust and get your teams back on track.

It will take a lot of grace and curiosity. It will require action on your part, which will require grit and courage. If your team sees you being proactive and speaking up, it will give them permission to do the same. And hopefully that will help you all get your groove back.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Being Really Smart Is Also Making You Really Annoying? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 23 Nov 2024 11:45:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I don’t quite know how to say this without sounding like a total jerk, but I am really, really smart. It was useful getting through school—I got the highest possible scores on standardized tests without even trying. I have an almost photographic memory, and forget nothing. I got through college in three years and now have a great job in finance and data analysis while going to grad school for data science.

My problem: nobody listens to me.

There are ways we do things that could be done much more easily. There are computer shortcuts nobody here seems to know about that could speed things up. All my coworkers call me “the kid” and tease me constantly about being a know-it-all. All I am trying to do is help them get their work done faster. We have several software systems, but only three of these would be necessary to achieve everything we need. Apparently, no one understood the capabilities of what we already had when they were trying to figure out how to accomplish something new that was needed.

I have tried to share several thoughts with my boss—but he has no time for me and usually has no idea what I am talking about. He has made it clear that I am annoying him.

I am not such an out-of-touch brainiac that I don’t know I need to somehow improve my emotional intelligence. I’ve heard that feedback my whole life. But I am not sure where to start.

I was hoping you could point me in the right direction.

Smarty Pants

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Smarty Pants,

It can be so shocking to find out that smart, highly functional adults can blithely ignore inefficiencies and outdated processes. It is common, so much more than you’d think, until you become aware of myriad ways attention gets hijacked by the way our brains work.

There are so many cognitive biases you are up against trying to get people to make changes that seem like straightforward common sense. As human beings:

We have a strong tendency to focus on getting things done by completing things we’ve invested time and energy in.
We maintain focus by favoring the immediate, relatable thing in front of us, and deferring to doing things the way we already know works.
We notice details that confirm our own existing beliefs.

And that is just for starters. To learn more about the way unconscious cognitive biases affect behavior, you can find a beautifully organized, in-depth map of them here.

I will caution you ahead of time to not use your extraordinary recall to tell people the bias they are suffering from at any given moment, because it will not win you any friends.

I think there are two courses of action here. The first is to learn the basics of emotional intelligence, which I guarantee will serve you well for the rest of your life. The second is to create a plan to apply what you have learned to the situation you are currently in.

The resource to start with to learn more about Emotional Intelligence is Daniel Goleman’s seminal book Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More than IQ. Goleman’s research outlines exactly why you have received the feedback you have—it is because high IQ and a practically perfect memory will get you so far and no further. His framework makes good sense, as there are skills you need to build your own EIQ that first involve increasing self-awareness and learning how to regulate oneself, then building awareness of others, and then getting better at moderating your own behavior to effectively communicate with people. This is the primer to start with—don’t let the fact that it was published in 2005 deter you.

Once you have laid the groundwork, you will be ready for the advanced course. There are so many great books on influencing others, but my favorites come from Craig Weber. Craig’s approach zeroes in on how to get better at engaging people in conversation by being curious about what they are thinking and then sharing your own thoughts in a way that others will be open to. His methods work for people who struggle with a lack of confidence and shyness as well as people who suffer from alienating others by being the smartest person in the room. His first book will help you to have better conversations, and his second will help you to influence people.

In the end, Smarty Pants, no one is so smart that they are going to accomplish great things by themselves. Not even you. It just doesn’t work that way. But for someone as smart as you are, who can engage the brilliance of others as well, the possibilities are infinite. You won’t be called “the kid” forever—time will take care of that. And as you practice your new skills, people will stop finding you annoying and calling you a know-it-all.

I have heard it said that navigating humans isn’t rocket science and I agree, because it is actually much harder. Humans should only be as straightforward as math and physics. But there are some rules you can learn that will make navigating them more manageable.

Your towering intelligence is a great gift, and, like all gifts, it is a double-edged sword. And you are experiencing its shadow side. I am confident that if you apply your smarts to expanding your awareness of yourself and others, and learn new skills, there will be no stopping you.

Good luck!

Madeleine

About Madeleine

Trouble Managing a Resentful Team? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 16 Nov 2024 13:33:32 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I think I have a generational disconnect going on. I am a millennial (though I was born in 1981, so many people think I am GenX) and I supervise a lot of young people right out of college—classic GenZ people.

I am really struggling with this notion of privilege. When I was a kid, privileged basically meant people who had special advantages and tended to be oblivious about how much easier that made their lives, and how easily opportunities fell into their laps. To me, anyway, it almost always meant wealth.

Now, however, the term privilege seems to be used pejoratively about anyone who has something that somebody else doesn’t have. I feel like the young people I supervise are always looking around for things they see as unfair or offensive.

Just last week, I was explaining that a big project had gone to another group. Someone said the reason we didn’t get it was that the other group’s supervisor has a friend on the executive team. I replied that the choice was made because it is a global project and the other team has a lot more members on the East Coast, which makes the multiple time zones easier to manage. Some people seemed mollified, but others doubled down on their discontent.

My point here is: who cares? There are plenty of projects to go around, and there is no value whatsoever in investing in the whys and wherefores of how decisions get made. I don’t understand the knee-jerk reaction to assume that when someone else gets an opportunity you wanted, it is for a nefarious reason. It seems as if young people automatically assume the game is rigged and they will always be on the losing end.

I keep reiterating the only thing that matters is that we work hard, stay out of trouble, and produce good work. At least in our organization, my experience tells me we are created equal. If we strive to be competent and keep our commitments, that’s what matters.

Am I simply from a generation that is overly optimistic? What am I missing here?

Gen Z Confusion

________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Gen Z Confusion,

There is a lot to unpack here: generational differences, notions about privilege, taking offense from—well—pretty much everything. I started doing some research on all of it, went down a massive rabbit hole, and got myself in a muddle. Then, to reboot my brain, I read your letter about five more times. Here is what I have for you.

I don’t think this is a generational difference. I don’t think this is about privilege. I think what you are dealing with are some individuals in your group who have developed the habit of looking for stuff to rail against. This habit is not limited to any one generation. It has probably been part of the human condition since the advent of Homo habilis—roughly 2.8 million years. For every innovative early man celebrated for figuring out how to use a stone as a new tool, you can bet there was someone throwing shade. This insidious habit is a little like pinkeye—extremely contagious and just as nasty.

This might help you better understand what you are dealing with: the behavior you are experiencing is resentment. Brené Brown (whom my colleagues and I call “Auntie Brené” because she is such a font of wisdom) says this about it:

“Resentment is the feeling of frustration, judgment, anger, “better than,” and/or hidden envy related to perceived unfairness or injustice. It’s an emotion that we often experience when we fail to set boundaries or ask for what we need, or when expectations let us down because they were based on things we can’t control, like what other people think, what they feel, or how they’re going to react.”

Atlas of the Heart, pg. 33

Some of your people are putting a lot of energy into pointing out the ways life isn’t fair. There are definitely those who will swear this is a defining feature of Gen Z, but I can attest that plenty of Boomers did it. It may be more common among the young. As people get older, they tend to develop some equanimity around the sad truth that life is not fair and learn to get on with things. At least the lucky ones do.

The question is: what can you do about it? The key is to identify the people who are infecting the whole crew and keep them from doing it.

You might start with a candid conversation with each of them, individually. As you prepare, there might be some value in understanding the part you play in the dynamic. I understand your question “Who cares?” means you don’t really care and you don’t think anyone else should, either. It is a valid point, and you are the boss, but being right isn’t going to help you here. The more you resist caring, the more resistance you will get from people who think you should care. So step one is to get curious.

You can start with some questions to better understand the grievers’ grievances. They may have some valid ones—and you might find yourself caring more than you expected to. Even if that isn’t the case, simply listening can be perceived as caring and can often diffuse negative feelings. Questions you might ask are:

Do you think there is a lot that goes on around here that is unfair or unjust?
How does this affect you in your day-to-day work?
What do you think can be done about it?
Do you think you should be getting more of something (choice projects, pay, time off, influence) that you are not getting? How might I support you in getting it?
Do you think there is anything within my control that I should be doing something about?
Do you see how your focusing on perceived unfairness might not be useful in group settings?
What might be different if you focused on what is working well for the team instead of what isn’t?

This conversation alone may change the dynamic. If it doesn’t, you can make a request. Ask the most vocal grumblers to stay focused on the positive and keep their complaints limited to conversations with you so that you can troubleshoot them together.

You can also share with your entire team that you have noticed a tendency to over-focus on real or potential negatives, which bogs everything down, and you would like to experiment with how to shift it. You probably aren’t the only one to notice this tendency. You might be surprised by ideas generated by others on the team.

Consider working together to come up with a shared vision and credo for the team. It would be made up of the possibility of excellence and the team’s shared values—essentially what everyone on the team thinks is most important in terms of working well together, doing the best possible job at any given time, and what makes the team especially valuable to the organization. There might be someone on your HR or Learning and Development team who can help you conduct a workshop to do this. If you are on your own, you will find some guidance here. When the whole team has agreed on what behaviors are out of bounds, there is a much better chance you won’t be the only one having to shut down behavior that derails conversations.

Your best bet is to stop worrying about labels and treat each person on your team as an individual with a world view informed by their beliefs and experiences. Meet each person where they are. Influence them by role-modeling fairness, caring, and using any privilege you may have to advocate for those who don’t have it.

You may just win over the doom-and-gloomers to the sunny side of the street.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.

Potential CEO Lacks Humility? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 05 Oct 2024 12:02:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I am the founder and CEO of a specialty investment services company, which I started—for fun—after retiring from my first career in investment banking. My executive team is amazing. Since we are so specialized and the field is super technical, I have had to find the best and the brightest.

My problem is that I am ready to retire—for real—sometime soon. The guy who is slated to succeed me is a genius but, unfortunately, a jerk. He is perfectly capable of not being a jerk: he is downright warm and charming with clients, but he is horrible to the people he works with. He is extremely smart, has never failed at anything, and has no humility.

I trust him implicitly when it comes to strategy, advising clients, and making decisions. But I am afraid if he becomes CEO, people will quit in droves and the whole company will fold.

I don’t want to see all my hard work go down the drain. How do I approach this with him?

Ready to Go

______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Ready to Go,

Head on, my friend! That is the only way. Tell the truth, lay out the crossroads choice that Junior has before him, make some demands, and hold the line.

Is there no one else you can trust to take your place? That is my first question. If the answer is an unequivocal no, you are going to have to bite the bullet and demand to see some change—and soon. And there must be consequences for your successor if you don’t see the changes you need to see.

I do think many people who end up in the investment banking industry are accustomed to having bosses who are whip smart but not very—shall we say—nice. This is based on my own experience working in the field and the many anecdotes I have heard over the decades. It is universally acknowledged that investment banking is a little like trench warfare.

Given that, I wonder what worries you so much about Junior taking over. What does he do, exactly, that you think will cause people to quit in droves? I suspect you have plenty of examples. Use them. You must be specific if you are going to give him feedback and demand change—and even more specific about the exact changes you need to see, so that you can track and measure the changes. You will want to come up with a list of do’s, don’ts, and non-negotiable never ever agains.

The good news is you know he knows how to act like a decent human being because you have seen him do it with clients. He just needs to figure out how to keep it up with his peers and employees.

If you have any stated company values, you might be able to use those to point to the ways Junior is not a role model for them. You could also give examples of his good behaviors with clients that are aligned with the company values that he might use to replace some of his not-so-nice behaviors with colleagues.

Another thought is to share this article with him: Level Five Leadership: The Triumph of Humility and Fierce Resolve. It is based on Jim Collins’ research about the leaders of companies who stand the test of time. An oldie but goodie, it outlines the long-term advantages of humility as an unbeatable leadership trait.

You might also share something Ken Blanchard has often said about humility: “Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.” People can learn to be more humane, kind and considerate to others. It isn’t easy and it takes practice, but it is doable.

Will this be the first time Junior has heard feedback about what a jerk he is to the people he works with? It may come as a surprise to him. But if he is as smart as you think he is, hopefully he will see the value of making an effort. If you give the feedback and ask for clear concrete evidence that he can change his ways, and you are met with a blank stare or a straight-up unwillingness to even try, you may want to consider closing down the business or selling it to a competitor that has a decent leader who knows how to treat people. I think if Junior knows you are seriously considering both options, he might be motivated to head off those possibilities.

Humility is a tricky character trait to develop. If a person doesn’t come wired with humility, it is usually acquired through facing excruciating life circumstances such as catastrophic failure of some kind. So Junior is going to have to either fail as a leader, or be imaginative enough to see the dire consequences of possible failure. You, in your quest to help him, will need fierce resolve. Don’t take the path of least resistance if you want to retire with no worries.

You obviously think there is some hope for Junior, or you wouldn’t have written. The question is: will you be persuasive enough to get him to rise to the challenge? Leverage everything you know about him, what is interesting to him, and how much he enjoys winning to get him to see the benefits. Your restful retirement depends on it.

Good luck with your last leadership test.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

What Makes a Good Internship? Ask the Intern

Blanchard Associate — Sat, 24 Aug 2024 10:20:00 +0000

Dear Intern,

What do today’s interns want out of a summer internship? My company—like many others—hosts six to eight summer interns every year. I’ve been participating in the program for over fifteen years and during that time I’ve had one, two, or sometimes three interns working for several weeks in our marketing department. It’s been a good experience, and I think the interns have learned something along the way.

I’ve always tried to create an experience that does four things:

Provides each intern with a project they can call their own and refer to on their résumé
Gives them a chance to work together with other interns both in our department and across other departments
Introduces them to corporate culture through regular employee training or all-hands meetings, for example
Includes very proactive management, with high levels of direction and support from me as needed

I’ve received good feedback from the interns I’ve worked with using this approach, but I’m afraid I may be stuck with an old-fashioned sense of what an internship should look like. (Full disclosure: I’m in my early 60s.)

Could you give me some feedback on what interns are looking for these days? Where am I on track, and where do I possibly need some fresh thinking? I’d appreciate your viewpoint.

Thanks,

Always Learning

____________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Always Learning,

Thank you for reaching out! It’s amazing to see how much effort you put into the internship program in your marketing department. You clearly value your interns and the experience you want to create for them.

Centering interns’ experience around a project they can call their own is such a great way to get them involved and keep them motivated! Speaking from experience, I believe interns want something hands-on and fulfilling. For example, I love supporting other people, so Blanchard granted me a multitude of projects that allowed me to put my passion into practice. My only feedback for you would be to ensure each intern’s project caters to their specific professional journey. They are more likely to feel valued when their contributions are aligned with their strengths, goals, and interests. Interns are excited about and proud of their work!

You can also help your interns feel valued by seeking updates about their projects and asking how you can support them. And when they reach an obstacle (because that will happen), help support and problem-solve to get them back on track. Making them feel like an asset to the company is a great way to build up their confidence in a corporate setting and help them stay motivated.

If your interns are anything like me, they are likely worried about the next ten steps in their career. Interns want to help the company, but the experience they gain is also a driver. As you mentioned in your first point, the résumé they are trying to build is very important. An internship often is the first corporate experience someone will have. Helping your interns build their résumé with something they are enthusiastic about will improve their luck during future interviews—and increase the likelihood that they will want to continue working for your company!

I love how you encourage your interns to network and collaborate with one another! Frustration and confusion are part of the learning process, so letting them get acquainted is an amazing way to embed a support system within the company. Also, having them explore other departments is a great idea! Allowing them to see what their peers are doing and possibly assist them establishes those relationships and helps them adapt to the corporate setting.

Going off that, exposing interns to the corporate culture is such an important process. I’m glad you actively introduce them to it, because I think it’s often assumed that Gen Z is opposed to traditional corporate culture. While there are certainly aspects we seek to change, we also respect the systems in place and want to learn how to facilitate change from within them. Sometimes this means giving us opportunities to go all in! I would just make completely sure your interns feel supported during these new experiences. For instance, you might provide them with low-stakes opportunities to spend time with high performers in your department. Your interns might feel uncomfortable or nervous at first, but with your encouragement these kinds of meetings can be a great learning and networking opportunity for them!

High support and high guidance are so important! As interns (and people in general) are introduced to a brand-new set of tasks, they can sometimes get lost or discouraged. Providing guidance during this season is key for a productive environment and experience. It’s great if your interns are highly motivated, but it’s not a deal-breaker if they aren’t. A rough patch of confusion and low confidence is bound to happen, but usually people can work past it. Encouraging open communication without fear of punishment is crucial in this regard. How can someone help if they aren’t aware that something is wrong?

All this to say, I think your “old-fashioned” approach is still valid! If you want to level-up your internship program, my best advice would be to meet your interns where they are—from the beginning to the end of the program. Start by setting expectations about what the experience is going to be like, making sure to consider their personal strengths, goals, and interests. Wrap up the program by asking for candid feedback about their experience. These practices will ensure that your internship program is always evolving to meet the needs of the next round of interns!

It’s great that you and your company recognize the importance of the internship experience. The effort you are putting into the program is outstanding and sets a great example for your interns. Thank you again for reaching out and valuing their experience!

Best wishes,

Addison the Intern

Editor’s Note: While Madeleine enjoys a well-deserved summer break for the next several weeks, instead of “Ask Madeleine,” we will “Ask the Intern.” We will field questions like yours and present ideas and solutions from several of our Blanchard interns and their peers in other companies.

This week’s response is from Addison Dixon, Producer Intern for Blanchard Institute.

Tempted to Bail on Gen Z? Ask the Intern

Blanchard Associate — Sat, 17 Aug 2024 11:51:00 +0000

Dear Intern,

I just got hired as head of sales for a marketing services firm. I’m really excited to drive the future growth of this small and mighty company.

My new team includes several very young team members. For some, this is their first professional job. I have always led more senior sales professionals and leaders of sales teams, so to lead individual contributors—especially at this junior level—makes me a bit nervous. I have children the same age as these employees, and it is a big challenge to engage and motivate them.

I’ve noticed they seem to get frustrated easily. They have a hard time dealing with the pressure of deadlines and don’t like receiving negative feedback or criticism. Also, I already see them taking advantage of our flexible time off and work from home policies.

How am I supposed to help them grow if they can’t accept that they have to change? I want to develop them into productive team members, but the level of work I need to do makes me think it’s not worth it. I’d rather just manage them out and replace them with more senior roles. Any advice before I bail on them?

Stressed-Out Boss

___________________________________________________________________

Dear Stressed-Out Boss,

It’s totally normal, no matter who your employees are, to have communication gaps and growing pains when leading a new team and establishing new team roles and norms.

Don’t get too nervous about your new employees; I’m sure they are just as nervous as you are. If you think back to when you started your first corporate job, I’d guess it was nerve-racking for you too! Just try to put yourself in their shoes.

You talk about how your new members become easily frustrated and have a hard time with the pressure of the deadlines they are given. Pressure is a common stressor for all of us, emerging and established professionals alike! Have you tried talking to them about this issue? There is a possibility they don’t know they can go to you with their problems. They may not want to disappoint you by coming to you with these issues, so they just sweep them under the rug in the hope they will be resolved on their own.

If I was in their situation where I felt I was struggling but was too nervous to tell my boss, hearing something like this would have gone a long way: “I notice you are having a tough time keeping up with deadlines lately. Why do you think you might be falling behind? What can I do to help you?”

If I know anything about my own generation, it’s that we are generally aware of our flaws—but we don’t always know how to ask for help so that we can rise above them.

Let’s be honest: nobody likes to hear that they’re doing something wrong, no matter their age. If your team members see you as someone who isn’t there to support them, they won’t open up to you—and this could become an ongoing issue. On the other hand, if your people see you as someone who wants to help them get better, they will be more likely to come to you for help in the future.

In my experience, most young professionals will respond positively once their leader cracks through that shell and listens to their needs. We really are driven by purpose! Gen Z sometimes has a reputation as difficult to manage—but in reality, we just want to make a difference in our workplace and feel that we are being heard.

As someone who works from home, one important factor that I always appreciate being set in place are the expectations my boss has for me. For example, you could try saying something along the lines of: “I would like you to start coming to the office Monday through Wednesday. On Thursdays and Fridays, you can choose whether you want to work from home or the office.” I think by solidifying these expectations you would see the results you are looking for from your team.

The same thing goes for flexible time off, although this one could be a bit trickier. When employees get their work done and demonstrate good time management skills, time off isn’t a bad thing. This situation also would benefit from a good conversation if you feel they are taking too much time off.

All this to say, don’t bail on your new team without at least trying to talk to them. Yes, they may operate in a way you aren’t quite used to yet, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t good workers! You just need to find what clicks for them when you bring your concerns to their attention.

I hope this advice helps you so that you can feel confident in the future when you get your next round of young professionals in the workplace. I know your new team will appreciate the extra time and attention you are putting in to try and become a better boss for them!

Best of luck!

Jaida the Intern

This week’s response is from Jaida Hess, Intern for Blanchard Innovation Lab.

Trouble Relating to the Next Gen? Ask the Intern

Blanchard Associate — Sat, 10 Aug 2024 11:42:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I am a Boomer who is three or four years away from retirement (I hope). Over the last few years I have been working with many people who are much younger than my own children. I went from noticing that I was old enough to be the parent of my direct reports to now realizing I could be their grandparent.

I was comfortable navigating people who were the age of my own kids—after all, I was heavily involved in how the world was changing as they came of age. However, now I find myself a bit at sea. I am always worried about saying the wrong thing or doing something that will be interpreted as clueless. (I even worry that words like clueless are passé!)

I wonder what wisdom you might share that will help me relate more effectively to the kids just now entering the workforce.

Okay Boomer

____________________________________________________________

Dear Okay Boomer,

First of all, thank you for reaching out and for being open to learning and adapting! It’s awesome that you’re actively seeking ways to connect with younger coworkers. I can totally understand why it might be hard to connect with my generation, especially because the development of new technologies played such an integral part in our growing up. I’d love to share with you a few ideas on how you can develop stronger relationships with your younger co-workers.

One extremely important thing my generation values is authenticity. We are very big on being real and we see insincerity as a poor quality in anyone. When a young professional senses that someone is insincere, it can be a huge block in developing a relationship with them.

I get that you may want to connect with us—and we want to connect with you! So if there’s something you don’t know about us, it’s perfectly okay to ask. Most of us appreciate when someone makes an effort to understand us rather than pretending to know us. Being upfront about your experience and expressing a genuine interest in learning from us can create a strong foundation for positive interactions.

Bouncing off that, keeping somewhat up to date with current events, pop culture, and technological trends can be a great way to start a casual conversation with us. You definitely don’t need to be an expert, but having a general awareness can help you relate to conversations and references. We get a lot of our information from resources online, especially through social media. If you haven’t already, you may want to consider creating a social media account for yourself and following some popular new sources. If not, no biggie—a quick Google search on current events can go a long way!

On the other hand, we want to get to know you! We value your insights and can learn a lot from your career and life story. Don’t shy away from sharing your wisdom and experiences—but please do so in a way that is open to discussion.

Being a mentor to a younger colleague can provide them with guidance and insights, and it also allows you to learn from their perspective. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship that can foster deeper understanding and respect on both sides. Reverse mentorship, where younger employees share their knowledge on emerging trends and technologies, can be a great way to bridge the generational gap. For example, when giving advice on a work-related project, share what you have done in the past but allow the other person to make suggestions as well.

In regard to communication, clarity and directness are essential. We value straightforwardness and appreciate when feedback is given honestly and constructively. Avoiding language that might be outdated or overly complex helps in maintaining clear and effective communication. Words like clueless aren’t necessarily passé, but it’s good to be mindful of context and the evolution of language. Additionally, utilizing digital communication tools such as instant messaging or project management platforms can help streamline interactions and make collaboration more efficient.

It’s important to recognize and celebrate achievements, both big and small. Acknowledging the hard work and accomplishments of younger co-workers can boost morale and create a positive work environment. Whether it’s through formal recognition programs or simply expressing thanks in day-to-day interactions, showing appreciation and gratitude can go a long way in building strong relationships.

Flexibility, adaptability, and ability to understand our values are also significant qualities we look for. The workplace is changing rapidly, and being open to new ways of doing things can make a big difference. For example, many of us are accustomed to using various apps and software for everything from task management to team collaboration. Showing an interest in these tools can help you stay connected and integrated with the team’s workflow. Additionally, understanding that my generation highly values diversity, inclusion, and mental health is powerful knowledge. Recognizing and supporting these values can create a more inclusive and harmonious work environment. Simple actions, like ensuring everyone’s voice is heard in meetings or supporting initiatives that promote well-being, can show that you’re in tune with what matters to us.

Remember, the goal isn’t to completely change who you are. It’s to find common ground and build mutual respect. So don’t worry too much about making mistakes. Everyone does, and what matters is the effort to connect and improve. Your willingness to adapt and learn is already a significant step toward building better relationships with the younger workforce. By being authentic, communicative, flexible, and supportive, you can create a more inclusive and collaborative workplace that benefits everyone!

Best of luck!

Maci Kate the Intern

This week’s response is from Maci Kate Rehborg, Blanchard Community Experience Intern.

Feeling Out of Touch with Younger Work Colleagues? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 03 Aug 2024 10:21:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I wonder what wisdom you might share that will help me relate more effectively to the kids just now entering the workforce.

Okay Boomer

______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Okay Boomer,

You have come to the right place! You are not the only one struggling—there is a fair amount of friction in the workplace for everyone trying to connect with others whose life experiences and perspectives are worlds apart. Blanchard’s philosophy—which is atypical—is that it is the job of the leader to understand and adapt to the needs of their people, not the other way around. So I appreciate that you seek to expand your awareness.

To assist with your quandary, my colleagues and I have decided to shift the focus of this column for a while in order to hear from the exact population you are struggling to understand. For the next several weeks, instead of “Ask Madeleine,” we will “Ask the Intern.” We will field questions like yours and present ideas and solutions from several of our Blanchard interns and their peers in other companies.

Also, I want to take this opportunity to make a plug for a podcast I have been lucky enough to be a part of called Mad & Lucy Mind the Gap, which explores all kinds of tricky workplace topics through the eyes of multiple generational and other diverse lenses.

So stay tuned! I am sure we will provide you with some ideas and maybe even some reassurance that we are all still just humans trying to make our way in the world.

Let’s all keep learning together!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Disappointed with a New Executive Hire? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 13 Jul 2024 11:46:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I am a regional president for a global services company. One of my executive team members recently retired, leaving rather suddenly as the result of an unexpected health issue. We interviewed some candidates to replace him but, ultimately, I took his recommendation to go with the person who had been his chief of staff/second in command.

She interviewed well, outlined her vision and plans, and referred to herself as “strategic” multiple times. She has a lot going for her. But she has been in the role six months now and is just not stepping up the way I had been led to expect. I’m not seeing the strategic capability I need.

I know I’ve been spoiled by having a mature, experienced executive team for a long time. But I find I have little patience when providing detailed direction to someone who I think should not need it at this level. I struggle to explain exactly what she should be doing differently, but I think I’ll know it when I see it.

There are days I want to just call it a bad hire and try again—but I also don’t want to waste more time getting someone from outside the organization up to speed. Part of me feels like I should give her a chance to prove herself.

We are located in South America, so things get slow with vacations, etc. She is out for the next two weeks, and I want to be ready with a plan when she comes back. Any ideas?

Disappointed

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Disappointed,

At the risk of insulting you, “I’ll know it when I see it” is just not good leadership. It is possible your new person won’t have what it takes to succeed, but I can guarantee that if you continue to make her guess what that is, you will both be miserable.

The leap from second in command to executive in charge of an entire business function is notoriously fraught for anyone. Based on my experience coaching clients who have been promoted into executive roles, the biggest shock is that they are expected to make recommendations and decisions. Most people, prior to becoming a senior executive, have spent their entire careers enjoying the luxury of knowing someone else is responsible for making decisions that will be either the right ones or the wrong ones. Mistakes at this level have massive consequences, and to suddenly be the one potentially making them can be terrifying enough to cause paralysis.

In addition, I think it can be especially challenging to join an intact executive team that has been together for years. You all have a shared history, language, and way of operating together that will take a newcomer a while to learn how to navigate.

I have some ideas that will help you be ready for your newbie’s return from holiday and get you both on a promising trajectory.

I agree that bringing someone in from the outside will take more time than getting your new exec where you want her to be. It will solve some issues and present a set of new ones. Either way, there are things you will need to do for a brand-new person and/or your existing person.

1. Integrate the Person into the Executive Team

Work with your HR Business partner to create a new Team Charter that lays out the mission of your executive team, the exact roles of each team member, and the behavioral and communication norms you can all agree to. You had this with your former team: a set of implicit rules you all abided by that probably developed organically over time. It is so subtle you didn’t even realize what you had until it was gone—but if you want to get it back, you will have to be intentional about it.

If you are like most senior leaders you will find this kind of work unbearably tedious, but I promise it will be worth it. It will give everyone on your executive team a chance to reboot and create clarity about what is expected by and of each member of the team. For more detail about that, here is an eBook that may help. This will lay the foundation for the next step.

2. Find a Way to Express Exactly what a Good Job Looks Like

I know you struggle with practicing patience, which I can understand, but putting a little effort into articulating what you need will pay off. It will either provide the clarity your new executive needs to succeed, or it will provide you with the evidence you need to replace her.

To get the kind of detail required, ask yourself some questions:

What did your former exec do that made him so great?
What did he not do?
What are you hoping for that you are not seeing?
What do you wish your new exec would do more of? Less of? Start doing? Stop doing?
What needs doing that you take for granted and you think is obvious to everyone?

You have been a senior leader for so long, you and your team have forgotten how you got to be so competent. Consider these strategic management behaviors:

Articulating and sharing vision and overall objectives
Formulating goals
Assessing internal environment and external threats
Creating action plans to achieve goals
Planning organizational structures and resource allocation
Process re-engineering
Providing direction and support to one’s own team
Being a role model for organizational values and culture
Leading change initiatives
Evaluating results and responding accordingly

Use this to create your own list. What is missing from this list? What is on this list that isn’t important to you? Hopefully, getting to this level of detail will help you identify the exact areas where your new executive is falling behind.

Once you have made it crystal clear to your new team member what you need from her, only then will you know if she will be able to rise to the job. Otherwise, you are expecting her to read your mind, which isn’t clear to begin with. I expect if you hired a new person for this role, you would find yourself with the exact same problem.

After you have done a little bit of re-chartering with your senior team and have made clear what a good job looks like, you will need to bolster your newbie’s confidence. It will take time for her to get her feet under her, to trust what she knows, and to develop the courage of her own convictions. If you have done your part, she will feel more integrated with her new peers and be able to hear and respond to your direction.

I hope, for both of you, that she surprises you.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Need to Influence Senior Leaders about Staffing? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 06 Jul 2024 10:47:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a team of customer support specialists. The job requires in-depth knowledge of our products (outdoor/climbing gear, some of it very technical), so we have provided a lot of training and oversight.

In the past year we lost two of our best people, and the executive team refused to let me replace them. Things have gone okay since then; we have had to extend wait times for customers and haven’t received a ton of complaints—but now I am feeling the pinch.

Our company offers unlimited PTO and I have two employees who submitted their time-off request at around the same time. I know my team can barely cover when one person goes out on vacation, let alone two people. Normally I would just approve PTO for the first person who got their request in, but one of them is getting married and the other has a daughter who is getting married.

I just can’t say no, obviously. But the situation is not good: summer is our busiest season and I am really worried about how we are going to manage the volume. If one of my people gets sick, we will have a full emergency on our hands.

I just don’t see how this minimum staffing policy is sustainable. The whole thing is stressing me out. I am having nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night with my heart racing.

I like the company. I think our products are amazing, I love our people, and I’ve always loved my job. I get calls from headhunters all the time—which I have always politely declined—but now I’m feeling like maybe I should pay attention.

I know I need to convince the higher-ups that it would be in the best interests of the company to restore the original size of the team, but I am not sure how. I would appreciate your thoughts on this.

Squeezed

____________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Squeezed,

This sounds tough—and familiar. The days of do more with less are clearly here to stay. In your case, it sounds like it has passed that point and now you are expected to pull a rabbit out of a hat. And it is taking a very real toll. People (including you) need to take vacations and attend big family events.

I appreciate that you are eyeing potentially greener grass, but learning to how to make and argue a business case is a skill that will serve you well.

In my experience, executives tend to not be that receptive to emotional distress. But they do pay attention to math and to issues that threaten the brand’s reputation—essentially, anything that could affect revenue.

Start tracking the data on wait times and complaints. It might also be smart to check your reviews to see if comments about slow service are showing up or have significantly increased. You say you haven’t received “a ton” of complaints, which implies you are receiving more than usual. Do a little research. Find data about wait times for support and what people are willing to tolerate. How much is too much time?

If your brand promise is built on customer service, increased wait times will absolutely erode the company’s reputation. Do whatever you can to clearly show that reduced access to customer service will eventually hurt sales, if it hasn’t already. The key is to use facts and data to create a compelling narrative. Include charts and graphs to influence the visual executives.

When it is time to make your case, be ready to state your position: customer service is understaffed and it is hurting our business and our reputation. Then concisely share how you arrived at your position. Be prepared for questions and pushback. Know what is stated in the employee handbook regarding PTO and vacation time. Practice with a friend to ensure that you stick to the facts—and keep emotion out of it.

This might get you one more person.

It would also behoove you to brainstorm other ideas with your team for how to solve the problem, so that you can offer solutions other than increased headcount. Ideas might include:

Cross-train others in the organization so that they can cover when your people are out on PTO.
Train temps who are willing to come in on a substitute basis. Perhaps the people who left might be willing to fill in on occasion.
Use technology (AI, increased information on the website) to help your team manage the load with fewer people.

I found a very interesting report on customer service that might expand your thinking about solutions. It wouldn’t hurt to sharpen your own expertise in order to be as informed as possible about what other companies are doing. The more you know and are able to demonstrate you have done your homework, the greater the chance your senior team will listen to you.

Most companies have been focused on reducing expenses and becoming as lean as humanly possible. It doesn’t occur to anyone that it all works fine until someone needs a day or a week off. There must be extra coverage to account for the fact that you (inconveniently) employ humans.

Try your hand at advocating for what you need to keep your part of the business running smoothly, Squeezed. Get as smart as you can about your business to see how you might get creative.

If you can’t make headway, maybe it would be smart to take some of those calls from headhunters. If you must leave the company to maintain your own sanity, your company will have no one to blame but themselves.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Team Member Is Overusing PTO? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 20 Apr 2024 11:35:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a team of mostly young people, all of whom manage internal communications for a global manufacturing company. A few years ago the company went to an unlimited paid time off policy. I have read a lot about the effects of unlimited PTO, and note that the biggest risk is that people don’t take enough time off, whereas in the past they were required to take their PTO or risk losing it.

My general approach has been that if your work is done to the expected standard, taking PTO is fine. I guess it never occurred to me that anyone would take off more days than what I consider to be reasonable unless they had medical issues or were taking care of a family member. It also never occurred to me that my idea of reasonable is not necessarily what others may interpret as reasonable.

My problem is that I have one person who takes entirely too much time off. And it isn’t to deal with problems—she is off larking about with her friends. (Note: this is not my opinion; she shares openly.)

Her performance is excellent, so I can’t really make the case that she shouldn’t take PTO—except other team members are noticing and judging. She often is not available to discuss work assignments or to help others on the team when they need something from her.

I think she would be eminently promotable if it weren’t for the fact that she never seems to be around. How do I tell her that it just isn’t a good look? Her overuse of PTO is causing me, and others, to question her commitment to the job. Do you think that is fair?

Questioning Judgment

___________________________________________________

Dear Questioning Judgment,

Boy, isn’t this interesting? It highlights what happens when rules are open to interpretation and when we make assumptions.

My first thought is if Larking About can get her work done with plenty of time left over, she could be doing so much more if she buckled down and put some elbow grease into it. But I suspect that would be interpreted as old-school thinking. And we all know that the reward for excellent work is—more work. This is how we have collectively created the hamster wheel we all perpetually bemoan. So my second thought is wow, Larking About might be on to something. My third thought, based on my experience that you never know what hard thing is coming at you, is that we should all save up as much goodwill as we can regarding PTO for when we really need it.

But seriously, as her manager, it is up to you to help LA understand the impact of her choices on her career, as well as the impression her choices are having on both her reputation and her options when it comes to optimal work assignments and advancement opportunities.

I imagine your employee handbook has some guidelines about how people should use “unlimited” paid time off. For example, my own company requires that all team members submit their time-off requests in advance to their manager for approval, collaborate with their team to ensure proper coverage, and limit their consecutive out-of-office days to no more than 15 at a time. It might be useful to find the handbook and see what is laid out in black and white that might support you when the time comes for a conversation.

Because that is where this is leading. A conversation. The first order of business is to find out what LA’s hopes and dreams are when it comes to her career. She may not think of her work as a career; she may simply think of it as a job. If that is the case, other than making sure she complies with whatever rules do exist, there may not be much you can do. LA may be just fine having a job and doing it well. No harm in that.

However, if LA does want a career, which would mean development projects and advancement, she needs to know how the intangibles—what I think of as “personal public relations”—are going to affect her future.

You can keep personal judgment out of it and simply share that perception is important and taking excessive PTO can create an impression of a lack of commitment to work. When it comes to advancement, it’s a fact that HR and leadership teams tend to favor those employees who exceed expectations over those who simply meet expectations. So if LA has ambitions to advance, she might consider taking on volunteer roles or more work for the team, which would limit her PTO and bring it in line with expectations. This, of course, would require you to define what you believe to be reasonable. I suspect what is reasonable in your mind is roughly the amount of vacation time that employees were afforded before you went to the new model. If your company does not provide guidelines, you might find some in this article: Paid Time Off Practices Around the World.

Do I think it is fair that LA’s behavior is causing others to question her commitment? It doesn’t matter what I think. That’s what is happening, fair or not. Perception is everything, and LA needs to understand that. Once she recognizes the impact of her choices (with your help), she can decide to change them. Or not. And she will reap the consequences of those choices.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Daily Back-to-Back Meetings Have You Fried? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 24 Feb 2024 14:25:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a small team in a big company. Here is my problem. I start my day at 7 a.m. with a meeting, and then my entire day is back-to-back meetings. Almost every meeting generates work for me to do or to delegate to someone on my team—which requires another meeting.

When am I supposed to get all my work done? After ten hours of meetings, I feel like that’s when my real workday starts. But by then, I’m fried.

Thoughts?

Meeting-ed Out

__________________________________________________________________

Dear Meeting-ed Out,

This is a perennial problem for almost everyone. Unfortunately, substantially changing anything will probably require a shift in company culture. There has been so much written on this topic. You might think about collecting the facts and presenting them to HR to see if you can garner support for changing the collective habits in your company. If you are suffering, everyone else probably is, too.

But hey, trying to shift culture will result in—more meetings. Just what you don’t want or need. So what could you do short of that?

Some of what is required in your situation is a shift in mindset. Right now you are accepting any and all meetings. You might need to harness your courage and take control of your time. No one can do that for you. Here are some ideas that might work for you:

Review your meetings and take a hard look at which ones are yours or your team’s. Those are the ones you have the most control over. Challenge yourself to see if any of them can be consolidated, shortened, or moved to bi-weekly.
At the very least, you and your team could agree to implement “no-meeting Fridays.” We have implemented this in our organization, and it has made all the difference.
Another thing you can do with your team is to make all meetings 30 minutes. It’s very easy to fill time, but there’s no law that says meetings need to last an hour.
Patrick Lencioni wrote a great book called Death by Meeting. In it, he says there are four kinds of meetings: Daily check-in meetings, which should last 10 minutes max. Weekly tactical meetings: 45 to 90 minutes, max. Monthly strategic meetings: 2 to 4 hours. Quarterly off-site reviews: 1 to 2 days.

I’m not saying these rules are the only ones to follow, but at least Lencioni provides a framework that can show how some meetings are not necessary or could be better run.

Look hard at all the meetings you are in. Do you really need to be in all of them? Can you send someone else on your team? If you are delegating, is it possible that the person you are delegating to should be in the meeting instead of you? If so, make sure they send you the bullet points about any decisions made in the meeting or actions to be taken as a result of the meeting. If you’re worried about perception of others, or being judged, share your reasons. You might start a trend.
Request that any meeting you are invited to have an agenda sent out in advance. If there’s nothing on the agenda that requires your input, decline—and request that you be sent a transcript of the meeting.
Block off focused work time on your calendar, and don’t accept meetings that are scheduled over that time period. You don’t have to explain to anyone (except your boss or their boss) why you aren’t available. If people really need you in a meeting, they will find a time that works for you. (Note: This may require some re-training of people who have become used to your being available all the time.)
Finally, challenge yourself to use technology. Zoom now has a feature that can transcribe meetings. Almost all companies have technology you can use to have a quick chat, delegate tasks, etc. Not everything has to be a meeting.

This situation probably crept up on you over time. And it will take some time to unwind it. Be bold, be fierce, and be relentless, so you can get your brain and your life back.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Influential Coworker Making You Crazy? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 10 Feb 2024 12:09:00 +0000

Fire extinguisher on calendar background with copy space. Concept of fire extinguisher education and training program appointment schedule in organization, office company, factory, school, etc.

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Dear Madeleine,

I just read one of your past columns entitled Latest Team Member Causing Chaos? I recognized the person as what I call HOF—“Hair On Fire”—and we have someone like that at our company. I have been working here for 35 years. I now work directly with HOF herself, and I’ve begun looking for a new job. Your post resonated with me so much. I was stressed out last year and now again. She even pushed me into the hospital once.

I’m a scheduler, and HOF basically makes schedule changes for her benefit. Whatever suits her. Everything you mentioned is exactly how she behaves. I’m trying to think of anything I can do other than just saying “sure, no problem.” I just give her whatever she wants. That’s what everyone on the team does so they don’t have to deal with her ridiculousness. When HOF is away, things are quiet, organized, and well run, so we all know who the instigator is. The whole team agrees she is a psycho.

I really need some advice! HOF is making me crazy.

Firefighter

________________________________________________________

Dear Firefighter,

I’m sorry the stress caused by this person is making you ill. You aren’t the first to have to contend with an HOF (what I call a “crazymaker”), and you won’t be the last.

Julia Cameron, in her wonderful book The Artist’s Way, coined the term crazymaker. She defined the characteristics beautifully in one of her own blogs here.

I once ran a high performing team that was almost destroyed by a crazymaker. When I checked in with her leader, I found out she was wreaking havoc everywhere in the company. So I was lucky—she was let go, and we were all able to get on with our work.

I see two potential focus areas for you:

Find a way to let HOF’s behavior roll off your back and learn how to manage your own stress more effectively.
Find a way to band together your whole team to revolt and stop HOF from getting away with acting like a psycho.

Learning how to manage stress is a lifelong pursuit. It will probably serve you well regardless of what happens with HOF. I am not an expert on the topic, but there are countless resources available to you. Just ask Google.

The usual stress-reduction advice includes breathing techniques that stop the flow of adrenaline and activate the parasympathetic nervous system (this works—I know). Other typical suggestions are: getting exercise (especially outdoors if possible); hanging out with pets;, meditation; a mindfulness practice; prayer; getting proper sleep; working with a therapist; and, as a last resort, medication. Pick one or two to try, adopt the one that feels like it helps and, well, do it. If anything will help you avoid another trip to the hospital, it is worth committing to.

Also, as it happens, stress reduction methods include developing the ability to set appropriate boundaries with people and say no to inappropriate requests. It sounds like you and everyone else on your team of schedulers could use some help with that—unless, of course, you have somehow received a message from above that HOF must be accommodated at all costs. For more detail on setting boundaries, you can find a post on that here.

Sometimes a crazymaker is so successful at bringing in business, closing deals, retaining high-paying clients, and getting referrals, it’s clear that everyone should do everything they can to accommodate the person. This is often a tremendous source of frustration for those who support rock stars. However, I will also note that such stars often run out of goodwill and end up being only as good as their last deal. They have no friends to get them through the dry spells, and it rarely ends well.

Which brings us to your second avenue for action. My questions are:

Where is your boss in all of this? Is anyone in management aware of the problem, and do they have the power, influence, or skills to escalate it to someone who can do something about it?
How does HOF have so much power over a whole group? Is it real power or simply perceived?
Is there a chance the whole team of schedulers might collectively refuse to work with HOF if she doesn’t comply with the norms everyone else seems to be able to live with?
HOF is either aware and doesn’t care, or simply unaware. Can you tell which it is? If it turns out she is unaware, is it possible she might change her behavior if someone were to make her aware?

If, in your assessment, HOF is aware and doesn’t care, but adds so much value to the organization that no one is willing to call her on her misbehavior, finding a new job is probably your best bet.

Here is the thing. It is ultimately up to you to set appropriate boundaries. If you can convince your teammates to do the same thing, it might just work. Of course, I don’t know the details of your work, but it could sound something like this:

“Your request to move those four appointments is going to cause chaos in the schedule. I understand you need to ask us to do it in this instance, but please try to avoid these kinds of shifts in the future.”
“This request is not appropriate. It will cause a domino effect we can’t control. You will need to get my supervisor’s permission for that.”
“We booked those appointments because your calendar was open. In the future, please keep in mind that if your calendar isn’t up to date, we won’t feel confident booking you and your bookings will decline.”

If you get better at setting boundaries, HOF’s next move will be to find someone else on the team who isn’t as good, and she will abuse that person until they quit or get sick. Or, ideally, they’ll follow your example and push back with kindness and respect.

Remember, the only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the people who benefit from your not having them.

One universal law to be aware of: if you don’t build your own skill for setting boundaries in your current situation, you will undoubtedly run into a different version of this problem in your next job.

So in the spirit of “nothing left to lose,” I suggest you try to:

Learn and commit to at least one stress-reduction technique.
Get help from above.
Agree as a team to just say no to the crazy.
Practice respectfully setting reasonable boundaries.

Crazymakers get away with their shenanigans because people let them. You can always hope and pray that they change (they won’t) or that you’ll never run into another one again (you will). Your life will be vastly improved if you learn to stand up for yourself.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Accountability Issue with a Team Member? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 16 Dec 2023 15:36:08 +0000

A side view of a smiling Caucasian entrepreneur with glasses watching something on her laptop while standing at her office desk.

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This letter came to Lucy Dannewitz and me as a result of our podcast, “Leaders Who Influence,” in Blanchard Community. Blanchard Community is a space created for all who are interested in Blanchard, where you can sign up for groups that suit you, network with others, and access special events. Lucy’s and my podcast is designed to explore how generational differences affect leadership. I will provide my take on the question, and then Lucy and I will discuss it in our next podcast.

_______________________________________________________________

Dear Mad and Lucy,

I find myself in a tough situation as a manager. There’s a person on my team who is a talented kid, but lately the quality of their work has taken a pretty serious nosedive. They’ve also been snapping at their coworkers. Someone told me that their father is in the hospital, so I’ve been trying to give them some room to sort things out. But yesterday they missed an important deadline, and I know I need to say something.

I’m at a loss, though. Here’s the kicker—this person has been open in the past about having serious struggles with mental health issues in their previous job.

I still need to keep them accountable, but I don’t want to push them over the edge. I want to support them. I guess I’m part of the typical Boomer generation—I have no idea how to talk about mental health. Am I even the one who should be doing that? If so, where do I start?

Not a Therapist, Just a Worried Manager

_______________________________________________________________

Dear Not a Therapist, Just a Worried Manager,

It can put a lot of pressure on work systems when people’s lives blow up. I had a question similar to this recently, although the employee wasn’t a “kid.” I am trying to figure out how much of this issue is generational and how much of it is just regular manager stuff. I will address each separately.

Let’s talk about how this is a generational issue. You call the employee who is falling short of expectations a “kid.” To me, a Boomer like you, that could mean anyone under 35! So if this person really is a kid—just out of college, somewhere between 21 and 25, say—there is a good chance they are overwhelmed, afraid of losing their job, and not feeling equipped to sit down and have the hard conversation with you about what is going on. On second thought, this could be true of someone at any age.

Clearly, they felt comfortable enough to mention past issues with mental health to you, so at least they trusted you on what might have been a good day. They may have succumbed to magical thinking—and there is no age limit on this coping mechanism. It goes something like “I know things have slid downhill, but I am going to get it together soon and go back to being good at my job, and we can all pretend this never happened.”

I see two ways the generational divide might be at play here:

Your employee is young and inexperienced and does not know how to broach the topic with you about what is going on.
You, as a Boomer, are not comfortable navigating what may or may not be a mental health issue.

The first may help provide a little bit of context for you to be empathetic and let your employee know that your job is to help them be as successful as possible in their job.

The second, forgive me, is a story you are telling yourself. It’s probably based on what you have heard in the media, which, in my opinion, is a massive generalization and untrue. I would submit to you that your discomfort with talking about mental health is due to a lack of knowledge and experience with people who struggle with it. All that means is that you are lucky, not old. This particular instance is a perfect opportunity for you to educate yourself and expand your frame of reference.

One piece of good news about the changes since you and I were kids is that mental health issues are now, by and large, seen the same way as physical health issues. The secrecy and shame that used to be associated with mental health issues are simply no longer a norm. This is a positive generational shift, I think, because almost everyone’s life is affected by mental health concerns. Just ask people you know if they have a loved one who is affected, or if they are personally. You may be surprised. When I started speaking openly about a loved one who struggles with mental illness, it turned out that every single person I spoke to had more experience than I could have known.

Now, the manager stuff.

I am a huge fan of the adage from Max De Pree: “The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality.” And the current reality is that your employee is not meeting deadlines and is unpleasant to work with. The worst thing you could do is pretend that nothing is going on. So an observation of reality might be “You have not been yourself,” and the questions are “What is going on?” and “How can I help?”

You don’t have to be a therapist, but this does involve being willing to talk about the human condition and how challenging it can be sometimes. It is perfectly acceptable for you to admit that you do not have experience with mental health issues and that you need your employee to help you help them. Teaching people how to help them is one of the first skills anyone with a challenge or disability needs to learn. You can admit that the last thing you want to do is to make things worse. You can state that your intention is to do everything in your power to help your employee get back to a place where they can bring their best. And you can do all of this without your employee having to share more than they are comfortable with.

Our company is a small one, and there are at least five pages of our employee handbook detailing how an employee should proceed if they need to take a short-term, flexible / intermittent, or long-term leave to deal with their own health issues or to care for a family member. I suspect yours is similar. Locate your company’s employee handbook and find out.

Detailed information about the health challenge is not required. There is always an emphasis on privacy. A note from a medical professional is required, however, so what is not allowed is employees who are not getting any help at all who claim they can’t work. You can consult with your HR representative to get clear on what benefits might be available to your employee, such as counseling, therapy, etc. Since there is such a large uptick in mental health issues among all generations, many companies are providing much more generous EAP benefits. If it turns out that your company isn’t, you can share the National Alliance on Mental Illness website and the NAMI Teen and Young Adult HelpLine. There is help available. You may want to use the website yourself to increase your understanding of and comfort level with mental health difficulties—not as a professional, but as someone who cares and seeks to be informed.

Be prepared to present the options to your employee and then help them craft a plan to get them back on an even keel. And (yay!) you can do all this without ever having to delve into the gory details.

Are you the one who should be talking about mental health with your employee? Good question. And no. Are you the one who should be talking to them about what steps they might take to take care of themselves and their loved ones, and how to keep their job and get back to the kind of performance they demonstrated they are capable of? Yes. That is a manager’s job.

If simply having the conversation about reality and how to make it tenable pushes your employee “over the edge,” as you say, then they are not fit to be working and you will have to consult with HR to figure out what to do next. If, in fact, the kid has put their head in the sand and is engaging in magical thinking, I suspect they will be grateful for the opportunity to tell the truth and for the help in making arrangements that will ensure their long-term success.

The next time an employee shares that they have had difficulty with mental health, you can take the opportunity to ask how it shows up, what the effect is on them, and how they want to deal with it if it happens again. You can create some clear agreements of how you should both proceed in the event that difficulties rear their head in the future, just as you might with someone who manages a chronic illness or neurological difference. It is all part of creating a workplace where people can bring their whole selves every day.

You are obviously compassionate and thoughtful. This is not a huge stretch for you—you can prove the stereotype about Boomers wrong.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Not Sure How to Exceed Expectations with Your Boss? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 28 Oct 2023 11:43:00 +0000

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Dear Madeleine,

I lead a team that provides services to the professionals in my company. In my last performance review, my boss told me I needed to find new ways to add value to the organization.

At first I thought, okay, I can do that. But then I realized I really have no idea what “adding value” really means.

My boss is extremely busy and rarely shares insights about the organization. I feel like I can’t come up with good ideas in a vacuum, but I am also trying to figure out how to exceed expectations for my next performance review.

What do you think my boss means by this? Where should I start?

No Clue

___________________________________________________________________________

Dear No Clue,

The tricky thing about trying to exceed expectations is that it often involves being able to read people’s minds. For many high performers, it can be hard to know how to do that without going out of your swim lane and potentially causing chaos.

I agree that it is hard to tell what “add value” means to your boss. And without some idea of what your actual job is, it is hard for me to provide ideas. But when has that ever stopped me?

The question is: how can you get clues that are not forthcoming from your boss? They will have to come from your own experience, your team, and the people you serve.

You don’t want to launch into action without clarity about what a good job would look like. So start with yourself. Ask yourself: “What ideas have I had about how we might be more useful to our stakeholders? What perpetual issues keep cropping up? What do people complain about around here that my team and I might be able to do something about?” You may be surprised by how many ideas come to you.

Then ask your team: “In the course of your work, what do people seem to need or want that is currently not on our radar screen?” As the people closest to your customer base, they probably hear things you may not.

Finally, you might think about creating a survey to send to the people who use your services. Ask questions about what you currently do to assess whether their expectations are being met. Ask what might improve their experience. Then ask what other services might be useful to them. Of course, you may hear suggestions that fall outside of your remit, but you might also get some ideas of how you might “add value” to them. Those you ask will at least get the impression that you care enough to ask them.

Take all of the ideas that make sense to you and that you think might be viable for your team, and share them with your busy manager. Maybe put them in order of priority of what is simplest to implement while providing the most value. What could you offer at the lowest cost for the highest worth? She hopefully will be attracted to one or two of them, and, even better, may provide some suggestions of her own. At the very least, she will know you heard what she said and you are acting on her vague request.

If the whole effort is way off base, with any luck she will redirect you and you will have a little more to go on. Either way, I don’t think you will feel like your efforts are wasted.

It seems to me that it would be your boss’s job to provide strategic direction for your team’s performance. There is a chance she is too far removed from what you do to have any good ideas. We can speculate but we have no way of knowing. You can show initiative by doing something.

It takes a certain kind of confidence to take initiative in the absence of any direction. It shows leadership qualities. You may very well have more intuitive awareness than you give yourself credit for, but have not given yourself permission to trust it.

Make your plan and execute it slowly, keeping your boss updated as you go. Take any and all feedback under advisement and revise your plan accordingly. Action begets action, and that is what creates momentum.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Concerned about a Teammate’s Commitment to Work? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 30 Sep 2023 10:49:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a fully remote team and have one member who is wonderful—when he is able to focus on work. His contribution is valuable, he is easy to get along with, and other team members depend on his experience and wisdom. But he is always dealing with some kind of personal crisis.

He has had several health challenges, as have his family members. His partner is an ER nurse who is 100% focused when she is at her job, so all the appointments—and childcare—fall on him.

He has multiple pets, all of whom have special needs. He was affected by serious flooding in one of the last big weather events (his car literally floated away) and his home now has black mold in the walls. His remaining parent needs a lot of care. The list goes on and on.

I want to be empathetic, but with the advent of Covid and everyone working from home, I feel like work is last on his list of priorities. He often fails to deliver on deadlines but always has a logical reason. And, to be fair, he is good at managing expectations and communicating when he is not on track with deliverables.

How can I continue to be empathetic while helping him increase his commitment to work?

Torn

________________________________________________________________________

Dear Torn,

Boy, does this sound familiar. We managers all seem to have a fantasy in which our employees have partners whose job it is to manage the home, the kids, the pets, and the aging parents. This may have been the norm several decades ago, but most households today are only kept afloat with two full-time jobs. And that only really works when everything goes perfectly—another fantasy world in which no one gets sick, pets don’t age, parents remain completely independent, and fierce hurricanes don’t wash our cars away.

It is one thing to deal with one predicament at a time; quite another to have a laundry list of never-ending crises with no end in sight. Flooding is no joke. It is a traumatic event. I think your employee probably needs to focus on stabilizing before he can increase his commitment to work. It seems that you have a valuable team member who is in a pitched battle to just get through each day, and that it would serve you both to sit down and have a serious discussion about reality.

Perhaps there needs to be a conversation about making a change, at least temporarily, while your employee gets his own health challenges and the disaster recovery activities under control. Here are some ideas to consider:

Have your employee consider going part-time, or even taking some time off and applying for disability.
Talk to your HR person and get clear on the company policies related to paid time off, emergency leave, or other benefits that might be applicable in his situation. Ensure he is aware of his rights and options.
Brainstorm a shift in workload/task assignments.
Look into your company’s Employee Assistance Program. There may be therapy or coaching available to help your person talk through all of his responsibilities and help him get organized.
Check into support resources that might be available for dealing with the aftermath of flooding—disaster relief organizations or government agencies that could provide assistance.

It is clear that your employee’s current situation is untenable, and it isn’t fair to either of you to not face the facts. You can remind him how valuable he is to the team, and how much you appreciate his contribution, and that it is your job to help him so he can bring his best.

Be clear, kind, and direct that something has to give or he is on track for increased health problems. Craft a plan together that you both can live with.

Remember to maintain confidentiality about what you come up with, but also share with your team that their teammate is working to manage his circumstances. They must be wondering.

Life can be hard, and sometimes really hard. Do everything you can to support your employee to help him through this particularly hard patch.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Just Promoted—and Drowning? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 16 Sep 2023 10:20:00 +0000

Desperate office worker overwhelmed with paperwork, she is asking help with her hand

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Dear Madeleine,

I was recently promoted and I am drowning. I am still supporting the person who took my former job while trying to get my head around my new job. My new team is huge, and I didn’t know any of them until I stepped into this job. I couldn’t get through my email if I spent ten hours a day trying. And that doesn’t include all of the stuff coming in on Slack.

My new boss has no time for me and clearly expects me to be able to hit the ground running, but I just can’t. I am supposed to get an assistant, but HR wants me to interview people, and I don’t have time. They have offered me a coach to help me—but again, I am supposed to talk to a few and choose one and I don’t have time for that.

My partner tells me I am headed toward burnout. I don’t think that is true. I’m not depressed or apathetic, just in way over my head. How can I get a grip? Any ideas you might have would be appreciated.

Need to Stabilize

________________________________________________________________________

Dear Need to Stabilize,

You have collapsed how you are feeling with reality. You are feeling like there is an emergency when there is no actual emergency. It sounds like you are in such a state of alarm you can’t think straight. And thinking straight is what you need to be able to do right now.

So the first order of business is to turn off all of the noise and simply hear your own thoughts. Turn off Slack. Close your email. Turn your phone off. If you work in an office, go to another part of the building. A client I worked with once used to go to the stairwell. If you work from home, go to a coffee shop or a park. Step away from your normal environment and go someplace where no one can find you.

Put an out-of-office message on your email that indicates you will be focused elsewhere for the next 48 hours, and if the sender of an email deems it critical, they can resend in a few days.

Now write down everything you need to do—everything from the biggest, most complex things down to the smallest, and then prioritize it all.

Then delegate. Anything that someone else could conceivably do is to be done by someone else. Presumably the folks in HR are good at hiring, so tell them to choose the best candidate to be your assistant. Presumably the people offering you a coach have a pool of highly qualified coaches for you to choose from—and, honestly, any decent coach will be able to help you right now. There is zero research that supports the idea that anyone has an appreciably better coaching experience when they choose their own coach. Have the folks managing the coaching assign you a coach.

Do not spend a single minute doing anything that somebody else can do.

Tell your replacement that you need seven days to focus on your new job, and that they should collect their questions to bring to you then. They can text you if there is a potential train wreck about to happen.

Your boss expects you to hit the ground running? I love that expression because it sounds like something James Bond does when he drops out of a plane. It is not a real thing. But when your boss has no time for you, you can only assume you are on your own and you will have to use your best judgment. Draft an email to your boss outlining what you think is most important and what you plan to focus on for the next thirty days. They may ignore your email. Maybe they will respond with “OK fine, go go go,” or maybe they will suggest some changes. They may suggest (I have seen this before) that everything is a priority, which would be a cop out. If everything is a priority, nothing is a priority, so you will have to use your best judgment. Either way, you will have kept up your end of the implicit bargain by sending the email.

Getting to know your team is a priority. Once your new assistant is in place, have them set up 1×1’s with each of your new direct reports. Have them send you an email before their meeting in which they answer the following questions, (obviously you should edit these to suit you):

What are the tasks and goals you are working on?
What direction or support do you need from me on each of those tasks?
What should you be doing that you are not doing and what is getting in the way?
What is worrying you?
What are you pleased about?
What are your top strengths?
What is your superpower?
What do you want me to know about you?
What do you want to know about me?
What do you think I should know about your world, and about the team?

As you meet with each person, ask yourself what things are on your list that you might put on their list. You will probably be able to find a few things. Will they do it the way you would do it? No. Will they do it as well? Probably not. But they might do it better—and either way, it will be done. Done is better than perfect, at least for now. You are never going to be able to do everything yourself, so you might as well start getting things done through others right now.

Finally, remember that you were promoted because someone thought you were competent enough to figure things out. And I suspect that you will be, once your brain is available for use.

So.

Nobody ever tells you that half the battle of senior leadership is choosing what to pay attention to and what to ignore. Stop. Breathe. Turn off the noise. Think. Breathe some more. Focus. Decide what you are going to do first, and what you will do in the next five days. Ignore everything else, for now.

You’ll feel much better.

“But what about the fallout if I make the wrong decisions?” you are asking. That may happen, but, well, then you’ll know, and you will learn from mistakes. I don’t know what your business is, but I am assuming that no bridges will fall down and no babies will die if you just take a step back.

Whatever ideas you have about how someone else would be doing way better in this situation are wrong. There is only you, right now, and it is up to you to take control.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Looking to Develop Leadership Influence? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 02 Sep 2023 10:44:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior analyst at an insurance company. I want to start building my leadership influence.

I know my position is not at manager level yet, but I think leadership can happen at all levels. I am also very young compared to my colleagues who are at the same level in the company. I used to think influence meant popularity (e.g., numbers of likes and comments on my LinkedIn posts), but I am starting to feel that this is not true.

I read in a book that leadership influence means how many people would follow a leader and change their behaviors after interaction with the leader. Do you agree? Do you have any advice on how I can begin developing influence at my position?

Future Influencer

______________________________________________________

Dear Future Influencer,

This is a great question, and the topic could be a whole book. There are, in fact, plenty of books on the topic, most of which focus on communication skills. So I will try to hit some highlights, and maybe share a perspective you might not get elsewhere.

I agree that leadership can happen at all levels, starting with the self. I think the definition you share sounds right. Influence isn’t the same as popularity, and it is definitely not something that can be measured by interaction with others on social media.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary says influence is “the power to change or affect someone or something—especially the power to cause changes without directly forcing those changes to happen. Influence can also refer to a person or thing that affects someone or something in an important way.”

To boil it down, I think it means being able to get people to support you and your ideas or do stuff you need them to do, especially if it is inconvenient or isn’t really their job.

You might start by zooming in on three areas:

1. You: Who are you, and how do you add value to any situation? Get clarity on your own personality and core needs. Understanding others is much easier when you understand yourself because you can figure out how you are different from others, why it matters, and what you can do about it.

A great way to discover more about yourself is with our content on Essential Motivators. Watch this webinar to get going: Developing a Deeper Understanding of Yourself and Others. You will also want to understand what combination of traits, experience, and skills add up to being your superpowers. What are you naturally great at and what do you love to do that might be useful to others? You can use this knowledge to get involved with projects or committees in your organization that will help you find ways to contribute while vastly increasing your network.

2. Your Dreams: What do you dream of accomplishing (not job title or salary)? What kind of culture do you want to create around you? What kind of impact do you want to make in the world? What kinds of changes do you want to see in your industry? What is your vision for yourself, your team, your company? Do you know your values well enough to use them to make decisions? Do you have a personal mission?

All of these dimensions will help you begin to build a personal brand. All of these will provide you with a clear drive that people will recognize and be attracted to—because it is compelling to support others who are up to fun and interesting things. It’s great to be goal-oriented, but you want to aim for something more than just a title or salary band. As you aspire to leadership, ask yourself what will make you a leader others choose to follow.

3. Relationships: Connections on social media are rarely real relationships. Having a relationship with someone means that person knows who you are and will include you if they believe you have something useful to add to a project. You’ve heard the complaint about successful people, that “It is always who you know.” Well, it is true—maybe unfair, but true—because people can’t help you if they don’t know you. And they won’t know you unless you make sure they do.

The best way to increase the number of people you have relationships with is to create a Relationship Map:

Identify the people you need to know—they might be senior to you, peers, or newbies. You never know what assistants might be able to help you if they feel inclined.
Analyze each person. What are their goals? How might they benefit from knowing you?
Make a plan to form a connection with each person. And I don’t mean on social media. If a person is very senior to you, maybe ask for a short meeting to interview them about their job—what they love about it, what skills it requires, what advice they have for you. People love to give advice!

If you find someone super interesting, ask them to mentor you. With others, try to find a common interest. This is where social media may come in handy. Talk about leadership books or baking. Get together for coffee or cocktails, or do something you both enjoy—hiking, taking your dogs to the dog park.

For more on this topic, you can find an articles on Relationship Mapping here and here.

You are well on your way, Future Influencer. The fact that you are reading books on leadership is already a great start. Warren Bennis wrote “Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It’s precisely that simple, and it’s also that difficult.” You might want to put his book On Becoming a Leader on your list.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Direct Report Doesn’t Want to Be On Camera for Meetings? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 08 Jul 2023 12:28:11 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a business unit for a medium-size business. I have a group of six regional managers who report to me. We have been working remotely since long before Covid and have been using video conference for our team meetings forever.

I have a direct report who has begun to refuse to be on camera for our weekly team meetings. About a year ago, we did a team charter where we all agreed that having everyone on camera improved the meetings. We are pretty informal, and we all get tired of sitting at our desks, so some people stand and do yoga poses, some people pace, etc. Certainly if anyone needs a quick bio break, they go off camera for a few minutes. Everyone has kids and dogs they must deal with when they work from home and coworker interruptions when they are in the office. That is just normal.

I have spoken to this team member about the issue a couple of times, and she doesn’t seem to have a good explanation for her choice. She just says she is sick of being on camera all day. I do sympathize; I also think it is tiring. She runs an office, though, and many of her people come in, so she has plenty of in-person time with people. She doesn’t seem to have a problem being on camera for our regular 1×1’s. I am flummoxed.

This situation is affecting the team, and I don’t know what to do next.

Thoughts?

Shut Out

______________________________________________________________________

Dear Shut Out,

It is funny when, with no explanation, someone just decides to not comply with a rule they had agreed to follow. We could speculate all day long about what is going on, but it wouldn’t help us much. Try once more to discuss it with her. This time, be candid about the importance of her being on camera for the team meeting. Make it clear that if there is no real reason, it is not acceptable for her to be off camera.

Perhaps you could prepare some details about how you see this affecting the team. Ask some questions to get your camera-shy person to gain some insight into how her choice impacts the team. Some ideas:

Is there something I need to know about what is going on with you?
Is there something happening within the team that is making you feel unsafe or uncomfortable?
What impact do you think it might have that you are choosing to go against what the team agreed to?
Is there something we could all do together that might reduce your on-camera fatigue?

You haven’t said anything about this person’s performance, so I assume all is well in that area. If, in fact, there is a significant performance issue, that might be part of the problem. If she is feeling bad about her performance, that is something you can address head on.

If you press the issue, she might choose to share her reason(s), which could help you understand. If she says something that helps you make sense of her decision, you can make a call, and then share it with the team. That seems like a long shot, though. My personal experience is that people who consistently choose to be off camera in regular meetings do themselves a disservice, since it makes it easy to forget that they are even present.

In the end, as the boss, you will probably have to insist on compliance with the group’s decision. Of course, she may refuse, and then you have that to deal with. You may have to decide if this issue is worth losing an employee. That will be up to you. The most important thing to know is that whatever happens will set a precedent—and it will send a message to the whole team about what is important to you and what isn’t. Your leg to stand on here is that being on camera was the team’s decision, not some arbitrary rule that you are enforcing to assert your power.

You might think about bringing up the whole matter with the team and revisiting the on-camera rule together. Maybe the whole team is sick of it.

Everyone is finding their way in this new era of hybrid teams. You will want to tread lightly and be sensitive to individual needs, while also keeping the best interests of the team at heart. It is always a bit of a balancing act.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Not Sure How to Work Smarter than You Are Now? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 10 Jun 2023 14:35:04 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I have been a manager for a couple of years. My company provided zero training. I kind of figured things out as I went along, and took a lot of online courses. I’m doing okay.

My issue is that there is just too much work. I’ve tried putting in ten-hour days, being super organized, using time management systems—you name it. But even when I work 55 to 60 hours a week I still can’t get it all done. My partner keeps telling me I’m going to burn out, but I don’t really feel that way. I love my job and am convinced there is a better way to get things done. I keep hearing that I need to work smarter, not harder, but I don’t really know what that means.

I am beginning to think there’s something wrong with me. Maybe I’m just not smart enough.

Any suggestions you have would be welcome.

Up Against the Clock

___________________________________________________________________________

Dear Up Against the Clock,

There is nothing wrong with you.

You are smart enough.

There is just too much work.

And your partner is right. You are in danger of burning out. In fact, I might suggest that your recent attack of self-doubt is an indication that burnout is already happening.

Humans are simply not built to sustain that much intensity 24/7/365. If you were saving orphans in a war zone, it might make sense, but even that would come to an end at some point. High intensity can work well for special projects—situations that have a beginning, middle, and end. But even CEOs and business owners have to find ways to take vacation and modulate intensity, and they are generally well compensated for their commitment. The situation you are describing sounds like a long, dark tunnel with no hope of light at the end of it.

You must take action. Now.

You have a few options.

Get help. I am not sure where your manager is in all of this, but if you have not escalated this situation to them already, now is the time. You can’t expect your manager to know you are overburdened unless you tell them. If they are available to you at all, ask for a 1:1 to go over everything on your plate and brainstorm how to get some of it off your plate. If they are not available to you, make a spreadsheet. List everything required of you, the time each thing takes, what you need to hand off to someone else, what you are going to do in 45 to 50 hours a week, and what you are not going to do. Then email it to your manager. If you can’t get support from your manager, you might think about escalating the situation to your manager’s boss or even HR.
Prioritize. Choose the deliverables that are going to make the least impact on your team and others and find a way to delegate them or just don’t do them. A client who had just completed an MBA from Harvard Business School once told me that one thing Harvard teaches in MBA programs is how to prioritize. The way they do it is by assigning so much work that it is almost impossible to do it all. The students who succeed figure out which assignments to invest their time in and which to coast on. This story may not be true, but it makes sense to me because no one can do everything that could be done, or even should be done. The dirty little secret of working smarter is that you decide what you’re not going to do or what you are going to do less well. You must choose what you will focus on and what you will not focus on.
Schedule and take a vacation. It sounds like you have climbed on a hamster wheel and you can’t get off. Impossible as it may seem, you must step away and get some perspective. And I don’t mean a long weekend. I mean at least one entire work week during which you totally unplug. If you can’t do it, that is an HR matter. Seriously. It means that the staffing and resourcing for your team is wrong.

You will notice I am not suggesting you delegate more, because every situation like yours I have ever seen suggests that you are either already doing that or you don’t have anyone to delegate to. If that is the case, you need more people. Fight for it.

This is a crossroads moment for you. And I know you know that, or you wouldn’t have written this letter. The only person who can put up the hand, stop the train, call a time out, and rebuild your work life so it makes sense is you. Your number one priority is personal sustainability so that you can continue to contribute to your organization, grow your career, and enjoy your life.

The moment is now.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Leading a Team that Needs a Reboot? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 03 Jun 2023 13:05:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I work for a national mortgage company and recently took over a team from a leader who had led it for 37 years. Every single person on the team is more experienced in the business of the team than I am. And every one of them is very disengaged because their former leader clearly had checked out a long time before he left.

A lot of the processes—some of them possibly of no use whatsoever—are outdated and labor-intensive. When I ask why things are done the way are done, the answer is always a variation on “that’s just how we’ve always done it.” There are some time- and labor-intensive tasks where the owners aren’t clear why they are done or who cares about them.

All of my questions seem to be making people nervous. I am confused as to how this happened. The other parts of the company I have worked in are well run and up to date, and we were always asked to look for efficiencies. My manager has no explanation for me, and precious little guidance.

I am intensely frustrated with the condition of the team. It feels like everyone is lost in the land that time forgot. It needs a massive overhaul. I am pretty sure we don’t even need half the people on the team. I don’t want to scare anyone, but as the team leader, I can’t let things go on like this.

Any suggestions for how to approach this mess?

Need a Reboot

_______________________________________________________________

Dear Need a Reboot,

I understand your frustration and your confusion. It is uncommon these days to uncover parts of a business that have not been forced to slim down or to leverage technology to do more with less. For reasons you may never know, your predecessor was left to his own devices with little to no oversight. The people he left behind probably are either delighted to have a job they can coast through, completely burned out, or too bored and worn down to care.

I think you have a great opportunity here to rebuild your team from the ground up. At Blanchard, we define team leadership as an influence process focused on helping the team reach and sustain high performance. We define a team as two or more people working interdependently to achieve a common purpose with shared accountability for results. Let’s not call this group of people a “team” until they actually behave like one. You can find more detail on our thinking about teams here.

The thing that will trip you up is a deadly combination of too much, too soon, too fast. Slow and steady wins the race. It doesn’t sound like your manager is paying attention anyway, so why rush?

You might start by sharing your vision for the team with the team. This will be personal and sound something like, “Our team is an energetic and creative group that adds value to the organization by providing x, y and z.” You can share your plan to make some changes, but that you are committed to carefully planning each step so that all points of view are considered, nobody feels overwhelmed or left behind.

Next, outline some high-level goals—the first of which is to really understand all critical deliverables, who in the organization wants/needs them, and the purpose of each one. Once you have that figured out, you can brainstorm ways to go about delivering on them.

Then, get to know each individual on the team. Get detailed information about what they do, what they are good at, what they like to do, and how they see themselves contributing moving forward. You can assign specific tasks like research around software or updated ways to accomplish things to match skills and interests.

Create a first draft of a plan, get input from everyone on the team, tweak, and refine. Once you have a plan, you might think about creating a Team Charter.

A Team Charter is a co-created document that outlines:

Your company’s vision
Your company’s values
Your company’s purpose: What does the organization do? For whom do they do it? Why do they do it?
Team Purpose: What do we do? For whom do we do it? Why do we do it?
Team Goals: What are the measurable outcomes the team is responsible for in order to achieve the team’s purpose?
Team Roles: What are the key responsibility areas of each team member for achieving the team goals?
Behavioral Norms: What are the behavioral expectations and team practices (strategies and processes) that the members agree the team should follow? What are the ground rules? These can include but are not limited to: communication, decision making, problem solving, and accountability.

Along the way, your group of employees will either be excited by the opportunity to make a tangible contribution to your company or they won’t. If you are vastly overstaffed for the work required of the team, this process will make it easy to identify the people you can probably get along without.

Stay focused on moving forward and let go of your distress about the past. Make a concerted effort not to criticize anyone or anything done in the past—the person responsible for it is gone, and it will just make people feel like you blame them. Let people know you have the backs of those who are all in on creating a future together. Put a road map together and move deliberately, step by step, toward your milestones. You will definitely have some bumps, but at least you will be acting as a team and creating a landscape that makes sense.

It will be an adventure, but it sounds like you are ready for one!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Need to Coach Executives Who Are Terrible On-Camera? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 06 May 2023 12:55:23 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I work in the communications media studio for a large company. I’m kind of entry level here, but I have a lot of experience directing video. I often end up working with very senior people to get short videos made for client work, proposals, stuff for the website, etc.

Many high level people who come in are—how do I say this?—terrible on camera. They don’t know what to wear, they are almost always unprepared, they haven’t read the script beforehand. Often they ask to use a teleprompter but don’t know how to use it, so it is obvious they are reading. If they choose not to use a teleprompter, we then get the dreaded “umm” which diminishes the authority of the speaker.

As a very junior person, how do I help these people help themselves? I’m not shy but I’m very aware that these people could get me fired if I cross the line.

Trying to Help

_____________________________________________________________

Dear Trying to Help,

Umm…

Just kidding, haha.

I can’t believe this is a new problem, so I would say your first stop to get help with this situation is your boss. There must be a precedent. In theory, when a video shoot is booked, people get a list of guidelines so they will be prepared. These should include ideas for what looks good on camera and what doesn’t. You might suggest to your boss that you invest in some clothing in a range of sizes so you have options for people who show up wearing something that doesn’t work.

If your experience is like that of many clients I work with, it’s possible that either your boss is AWOL or so many people have been laid off that these systems exist but no one is around to tell you. Find out. If you do have a functioning boss, they can give you some pointers on just how directive you can be with people. If you don’t, well, you are on your own.

It sounds like it is your job to set people up to win and make the best possible video they can make. The thing you have going for you is that nobody wants to look bad on camera. Tell people that your job is to make them look and sound great—then ask them if they mind if you give them some pointers as you go.

Many senior leaders are overbooked, and lack of preparation is not unusual. It might help if you print out scripts so that people can read them out loud several times before trying to shoot. You can give them the script and say something like, “Why don’t you take a moment to read through this out loud while they are getting the lights right?” The more practice they get, the better they will sound.

Using a teleprompter is wildly unnatural and takes a lot of practice to get right. Here is a link to an article I found that makes a lot of sense. It offers good tips you can share with people who are struggling. I’ve found a good way to settle into using a teleprompter is to run through the whole thing five times really fast. Then try it normal speed. There is something about doing speed-throughs that gets the words settled in the brain—and then the speaker can just be themselves, use their hands, and sound relaxed.

Filler words are probably the most common issue for everyone. Filler words aren’t just limited to umm. They include “so,” “you know,” “like,” “and,” etc. Some folks get stuck on phrases especially during transitions, such as when moving to a new topic, and they have trouble with an abrupt ending. “It’s really interesting” is an example of this. For folks who use a lot of filler words, here are several tips to help eliminate them:

Most people are not aware of their filler word habit. Tell your talent they are using too many filler words and their delivery will be stronger without them. You can let them know this is very common and can easily be fixed.
Most people are terrified of pauses and silence, so let them know pauses can be edited out if need be. Let people know a little moment of silence is OK.
Ask the person to raise their volume just a notch above normal. This tends to help people eliminate filler words.
Allow for multiple takes, with several practice takes so people can raise their comfort level with what they are saying and how they want to say it.
Encourage the speaker to breathe. Everybody must, and taking a quiet moment to breathe will help your speaker stay centered.

I think you might be overfocused on—or at least unnecessarily freaked out about—hierarchy. Yes, your customers here are extremely senior to you. But you still have a job to do, and it is to make them look and sound great in every video you are responsible for.

It might help to refocus on what your job is. Setting the stage at the beginning of a shoot and getting permission to offer direction and pointers will give you the leeway you need to help. Stay super positive—each time you need to stop and redo something, you can say “that was great, let’s try it a couple more times.” The more you make practice and repetition seem normal, the more normal it will feel. The more practice and repetition people get in a supportive environment, the better they will get. Only trained performers who have practiced and prepared get things on the first take. Set the expectation that great finished videos require lots of takes.

Worst case, you will have a cranky person who is too harried to care and will not allow you to give them the help they need. You do need to be sensitive to that and let the chips fall where they may. If people refuse help, it is on them if they show up badly in their videos.

It sounds like you have the best of intentions. Practice asking for permission and being concise with pointers. Don’t be shy about asking for several takes. Stay positive and point out what is going well. Your speakers will thank you. And those who don’t will have no one to blame but themselves.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Not Sure Team Member Is “Very Happy”? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 29 Apr 2023 13:25:56 +0000

Young girl in backyard smiling looking up

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Dear Madeleine,

I have been offered a promotion and need to make a recommendation for the team member who will be promoted into my job.

I have one very likely candidate: my most promising employee. She is consistent with her deliverables and has led some projects for the team with great results. She gets along well with her peers and is well respected all around.

The interesting thing is that this person does not seem very ambitious. Whenever the topic of her career comes up, she claims to be “very happy” right where she is. I can’t tell if that is really the case, or if she just lacks confidence to aim higher.

I don’t want to apply too much pressure and end up demotivating her. What is the best way to approach this? I don’t want to be…

Too Pushy

_________________________________________________________________________

Dear Too Pushy,

First, kudos to you for being sensitive enough to care about Very Happy (VH). The key here is get to the bottom of what her “very happy” means. It could mean “very happy for now” or “very happy for the foreseeable future/ you don’t have to worry about me wanting more and seeking an opportunity elsewhere,” or it might very well mean “very happy forever.”

It can be a mistake to assume anything, because your idea of what being ambitious looks like might not match someone else’s. VH may be the kind of person who doesn’t envision a possibility for herself until it is tangible. It might be that she is also worried about coming off as too pushy. You just won’t know until you investigate.

It is generally accepted that all managers need to develop a successor, so you might start by stating that as a fact and asking if she would like to be considered. You could also share that, in your opinion, she is the most likely candidate, but that you don’t want to pressure her. Let her know you are exploring and are open to the outcome.

There is a good chance that VH will ask exactly what the job would entail, so anything you can share about the job description and expectations around ramp-up time would be good to have at the ready. You may think she knows what the job is—but remember, she only sees what you do from where she is sitting.

It is possible, as you mentioned, that VH may not feel she is ready. If so, you will want to be prepared with observations about her strengths and how they would serve her in a more senior role. You might share the challenges you anticipate she would face, and how her experiences so far will have prepared her to rise to them.

If VH would continue to report to you, obviously you would be there to help her get settled in the role. If that is not the case, you might think about offering to mentor her through the transition.

It can be hard for people who have a strong drive to achieve and make no bones about it to understand those who are, by nature, more cautious and guarded with their aspirations. You already are receptive to how VH might play things close to the vest. Honor her nature and continue to be thoughtful, candid, and kind. You might just be able to draw her out enough so she will consider taking what, to her, might feel like a risk.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Dealing with Impending Layoffs? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 22 Apr 2023 11:07:00 +0000

Worried young businesswoman at corridor office

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Dear Madeleine,

I am an executive leader for a giant global organization. Last week, massive layoffs were announced. I have a team of twelve direct reports with hundreds of people reporting up to them. I don’t know every person, but I know a lot of them.

Layoffs are going to be devastating for these people. There is a hush now when I come into the office. The sidelong glances, checking to see if I know something, are awful. I’m not even sure if I will have a job at the end of all of this.

What can I do to keep myself on an even keel? And how can I help people soldier on until the ax drops?

I have heard about this kind of thing, but have never experienced it myself.

Waiting for the Ax

____________________________________________________________

Dear Waiting for the Ax,

I am sorry. This is one of the great pain points that goes with working in large organizations. The neuroscience research shows that our brains hate uncertainty and function less well in the face of it.

An organization that chooses to announce massive layoffs with absolutely no other information and plans to help leaders manage the process verges on irresponsibility. Sometimes there is a CHRO who works very hard to manage the emotional fallout of massive layoffs. More often, though, managers are on their own. It sounds like you are one of them—unless, of course, you can get some insights and/or direction from your boss, who is alarmingly absent from your scenario. That would be your first stop for help unless you already know there is no help to be found there. I hate how common this is.

You must take care of yourself so that you can take care of others. If there is anything you can do to make that happen, now is the time. Get exercise, eat properly, get some sleep, meditate. If it will make you feel better, update your LinkedIn and get started on an updated resume. Maybe get in touch with former colleagues and other members of your professional network in case you will be job hunting soon. Get support from family and friends.

In the absence of information, all you can do is try to make things as comfortable as possible. Pull your team together and surface all of their concerns, so at least people are talking and not just exchanging sidelong looks. You don’t want the conversation to devolve into a complaint session, but it will help people to have a safe place to vent. You can set up the discussion by requesting that no one share rumors, but simply share what they are feeling.

You can always re-direct with questions such as:

What can you do to stay focused in the face of this uncertainty?
What can I or another team member do to help you right now?
How can we stay focused on what is working right now?
Who is doing something that is helping them feel resilient that they can share with the group?

Let your people know what you know and what you don’t know and assure them that you will share any intel you get as soon as you get it. Encourage them to take care of themselves as much as they can. Give clear direction on what they need to stay focused on in order to keep moving toward team goals. Don’t let anyone get caught up in panicked overperforming because they think it might save their jobs. That will just add fuel to the fire.

Breathe. Tell your people to breathe.

Remember, you are intelligent and capable and you will be okay. Remind your people they are intelligent and capable and they will be okay.

Stay calm because it will help your people stay calm. Come what may.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Quiet Employee Reluctant to Speak Up in Meetings? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 08 Apr 2023 13:34:33 +0000

He is feeling trapped in all the work.

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Dear Madeleine,

I have an employee who is very dependable and is doing an excellent job. I am certain he will do very well here, long term. He has been with the company about a year, has developed confidence, and often catches errors before it is too late. He is trusted and his peers go to him to brainstorm and troubleshoot.

I have noticed that he stays silent in meetings but will share his thoughts with others after the meeting. This causes extra work and adds time to the process of making the best decisions. I have encouraged him to speak up in group settings, but he is not rising to the occasions as they are presented.

I see great things for this person, and this is an important step in his development. I am not sure how to help him make this leap. Would appreciate some ideas.

Challenged

__________________________________________________________________

Dear Challenged,

Getting the quiet ones to speak up in the moment is a tricky one. The key will be to first get him on board. It may take a lot for him to “rise,” as you say, so he needs to understand the difference it will make for him. He also needs to understand what it will cost him if he fails to even try.

This will require a one-on-one conversation that is private with no interruptions. Then paint the picture of what you see going on.

Start by explaining what compels you to insist on his development. If you didn’t see such promise, you wouldn’t bother, right? He needs to know that you know the value he brings.

Then explain why it is so important for him to speak up in the moment, not after the meeting. Use an example of a recent case where it added time and needless complexity to a decision process. There is a good chance he has no idea it is causing static.

Remind him that you have encouraged him in the past and have not seen any change.

Then ask questions that will help you understand what is going on:

Do you see how important it is that you speak up in the moment?

What keeps you from speaking up in the moment?

Is there anything or anyone (including me) in the meetings that make you feel unsafe?

What can I do to make it feel safer for you?

How can you overcome whatever is getting in your way of speaking?

Ask each question and let him take his time to answer. You may have to be in silence together for a while, and that’s okay. If it makes you uncomfortable, breathe.

You can speculate all day long as to why your high potential person is staying quiet, but only he knows. To be fair, he may not even know himself, so you may not get a clear answer the first time you ask. Be prepared to have him go away and think about it. If this happens, schedule a follow-up so he knows you are not going to let it drop.

You may end up hearing something unexpected. Maybe he was punished or ridiculed for speaking up in his last job. Maybe he needs time to think about things. Maybe he just doesn’t think anyone cares what he thinks, despite what you have said to him. Who knows?

But extend the invitation to partner with him to help him rise. Give it time. It may require incremental experiments. Or you may unleash something—for better or for worse.

He is lucky to have a manager who cares enough to bother. I salute you.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Trouble Getting Out of the Weeds? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 01 Apr 2023 10:25:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I was recently promoted to a VP role in my company. It was a bit of a surprise as I thought my boss would never leave—but he did, quite suddenly. I have been in the role now for about five months.

My new boss keeps telling me I need to “get out of the weeds” and be more strategic. I have no idea what that means. I am still doing my old job while now also supervising the work of all my peers. I am at my wits’ end with the workload. The meetings alone are killing me.

My biggest issue is that I am most comfortable simply getting things done—making my list of tasks and systematically checking them off. I suspect that isn’t particularly strategic.

Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

How to Get Out of the Weeds

______________________________________________________________________________

Dear How to Get Out of the Weeds,

I can appreciate your overwhelm and confusion. The transition you are going through is one of the hardest, in my opinion, because everything you have done in the past that has made you successful is now getting in your way.

It is very common among people who are great at execution to be at sea with how abstract and unproductive “strategic” activity can feel. It is a shift in mindset that very few people recognize and even fewer are able explain or help with. It sounds like your boss might be one of those folks who expects you to just figure things out on your own.

I recommend a couple of do-nows—things you can do right now that will set you up for success in the near future.

Identify someone in the organization that you respect and ask them to mentor you. Tell them you specifically need help to figure out how to be more strategic.
Ask your boss what five things they need to see from you that will give them confidence that you can be more strategic and that you can do the job the way they want it done.
Replace yourself: find someone who can do the job you were doing before. Either promote from within or request to hire from outside the organization. Nobody can be successful doing two full-time jobs.

Once you have done all of the above, or have them in process, you can turn your attention to what it means to be strategic.

This issue has come up so much with my coaching clients that I have developed a list of things a strategic leader does, gleaned from my experience and from reading books and articles. There are a million books on this topic and even more opinions, so remember this is just my take on it. Maybe use this list with your boss to see what they agree with and what they think might be missing or not quite right. That will at least get you two on the same page.

What does it mean to be a strategic leader?

See the big picture:

Anticipate what is coming. Note and develop plans to navigate the unknown.
Get the big ideas right.
Stay aligned with reality while entertaining innovative ideas.
Use big ideas to set direction while considering potential contingency plans.
Craft the short-term and long-term objectives that will move people in the right direction.
Communicate about objectives and direction clearly and repeatedly. Use storytelling and share inspiring wins widely.

Translate the abstract into the concrete:

Help design tactics to achieve objectives, especially those that require cross-functional cooperation.
Oversee implementation and execution of tactics—create dashboards of the most relevant data to create transparency, visibility, and accountability.
Track analytics—interpret data to formulate meaning found in analysis.
Refine big ideas, direction and objectives, and tactical approaches as activity surfaces new information.

See all, know all, intervene judiciously:

Re-direct to maintain focus.
Measure and evaluate performance.
Track successes and breakdowns—help tackle hiccups in processes and systems.
Support solving of complex entrenched problems.
Make sure people feel noticed, seen, and heard.
Keep your ear to the ground to get advance notice of potential problems and to surface time-wasters—policies that aren’t producing intended results. Anticipate.

Focus on the future:

Create multiple paths for generating and testing ideas.
Create an environment of learning and innovation.
Develop opportunities for high potential performers.

Master political agility:

Cultivate relationships incessantly.
Challenge the status quo without provoking outrage.
Be masterful at shuttle diplomacy—conducting negotiations, especially between parties at odds with each other, but also parties who can’t see how their goals can be aligned.

As you can see, a lot of these activities involve thinking or relationship building, which can feel like anything but work. And to be fair, it isn’t work as you have known it. But it is work—it is strategic work and someone needs to do it. You can expect this transition to take some time and a lot of getting used to. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Give yourself some grace. As long as your boss is getting what they need from you, you will be okay.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Direct Report Keeps Asking “Why?” Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 18 Mar 2023 11:53:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I manage a large regional business unit, and a few years ago all managers went through a coaching class. We learned to ask fewer why questions when coaching, and I have found it to be a helpful tip. I know it’s generally not a good idea to ask why questions, because they can put people on the defensive.

What is your advice on what to do when someone asks a why question?

I was recently asked one by a manager who works for me, who also went through the training and should know better.

I find myself not wanting to answer the question for fear I will appear defensive by even answering. I don’t see a good or productive way to answer the question, mainly because the way it was asked seemed to presume that I had done something wrong.

Is it rude to reframe the question the into a form I could answer? Like a politician?

This incident has made me realize that I seem to get a lot of these kinds of questions from this manager—questions I would prefer she answer for herself. It makes me concerned that she either can’t answer the questions or is kicking the questions up a level for some reason. Maybe she is asking for more support?

Confused and Confronted Leader

_______________________________________________________________________

Dear Confused and Confronted Leader,

This is an interesting one! For readers who wonder what is being discussed here, you can get some background from this article: Important Coaching Techniques Every Leader Should Practice. In most coaching skills programs, ours included, a fundamental is to ask better questions. This means, by and large, to ask what and how questions, as they tend to produce more useful answers. And it is true that why questions tend to put people on the defensive.

In your case, it is hard to formulate an answer without more detail, so I will proceed with general principles that hopefully pertain to your situation.

Asking why questions when one should know better is simply a habit. I wouldn’t read too much into it. You might suggest that the why question be asked as a what or a how question.
Just because someone asks a question doesn’t mean you have to answer it. If someone really needs an answer they will probably follow up and ask the question differently, or ask a different question altogether.
The best way to respond to any question that makes you feel defensive is with curiosity. I guess you can always reframe the question, but you might try answering a tricky question with another question. For example: To respond to “Why was my team not told about this decision beforehand?” you might ask “What is happening among your team that concerns you?”
One rule of thumb to consider whenever you feel defensive is to never take anything personally. You could ask yourself “How might I see this differently if I weren’t feeling attacked?”

The situation where your direct report keeps coming to you with questions she should be able to answer herself seems like a perfect opportunity to put on your coach hat. When anyone comes to you with questions you know in your heart they have the answers to, you can evoke their wisdom and simply ask (nicely of course) what they think the answer is. Either they will have good answers or you will discover they need a lot more direction than you realized. It is entirely possible your people do not see the big picture or have forgotten the reasons for a change being made. As a leader, you have to remember that anything you think is obvious, is not.

Finally, it sounds like you are uncomfortable with your people challenging you or doubting your authority. But it is better to have people around you who do that than a bunch of “yes” people who praise every decision and laugh at all of your jokes. That spells doom for any leader.

If your people seem to doubt your authority, you can always rely on the world’s best questions from our Conversational Capacity Program:

What am I not seeing that you’re seeing?
What’s your take on this idea?
What does it look like from your angle?
Are you seeing something I am missing?

Maybe they are doubting your authority and you would be well served to listen to them. Or maybe they just don’t understand and need you to spend more time explaining your thinking. Either way, they will be much more likely to have your back.

I hope there is something in here you can use.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Does Every Hire Need to Be a Rock Star? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 11 Mar 2023 14:38:05 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I read last week’s column with interest and it sparked a question for me.

I am hiring right now for a position that requires someone to simply keep their head down and get the job done. Our company isn’t growing very fast, so there won’t be much room for advancement.

I have a number of good applicants—some young people who clearly want to grow and some middle-aged folks who seem happy to get into a swim lane and stay in it.

My boss is advocating for me to focus on the younger, ambitious ones, but I think that is just setting people up for frustration. I think it makes more sense to hire someone who will not be disappointed with the lack of a career path.

What do you think?

Race Horse or Work Horse?

________________

Dear Race Horse or Work Horse?

This is such an interesting question! I suspect your instincts must be based on experience. I would ask what caused the last person in this job to leave. If it was because there was no room to grow, then you have your answer, don’t you?

The fact is that companies need workers who enjoy their work, are content leaving their work at work at the end of day, maybe go the extra mile on occasion (but not all the time), and aren’t gunning for their boss’s job. After all, there is only so much room at the top.

The last thing you want is someone who will be disappointed; you are right about that. I think you want to focus on finding someone who has the right skills, will be a good fit for your culture, and fully understands the nature of job and its lack of potential for growth. I think it has more to do with life goals, hopes, and dreams than age.

It sounds like you have a good grasp of the kind of person you are looking for. The age thing is a red herring that muddled the issue.

Trust your gut on this one.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Trying to Stop Interrupting Others? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 25 Feb 2023 13:28:26 +0000

Word stop on a stack of pink wooden blocks interrupting collapsing dominos in a conceptual image of proactive approach to critical situation. Over pastel blue wooden background.

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Dear Madeleine,

I struggle with interrupting people—and I hate doing it. I usually realize it after it is done.

What are some ways to help me overcome this habit and make personal improvements?

Interrupter

___________________________________________________________________________

Dear Interrupter,

I applaud your self-awareness, which is always the first step to any kind of personal improvement. My first question is: how much of a problem it this for you? And how do you know?

You say you usually realize you have done it after the fact. How? Is it that you remember the look on someone’s face? Is it that you remember you cut someone off and now realize you want to know how they were going to finish their sentence? How often do you hear someone say “please let me finish my thought”?

Your first step, since you are already aware of the behavior, is to understand the impact it may be having on others. If you can honestly say it doesn’t bother people, that is important data. If you realize it might be hurting you or the projects you are working on because not everyone gets a hearing, that is another piece of data. The clearer you are about the impact of the behavior and what it is costing you, the more you will be able to tap into the motivation to self-regulate.

The thing about interrupting—and almost any habit we want to curtail—is that it is triggered by something. A few recognizable types of interrupting come to mind:

Just excited: A common type of interrupting that springs from the excitement of a new idea. This tends to be grounded in the best of intentions. Although annoying, it is forgivable.
Getting a word in edgewise: In many fast-paced environments, interrupting is the only way to get air time and everyone has to do it. This tends to be a cultural feature and you are probably in good company. Survival tactics are forgivable—and, indeed, often required.
In my own head: Another kind of interrupting is simple obliviousness to other people. This tends to be less forgivable. Taking notes is a good way to get out of your head and into the flow of conversation.
Shutting people down: The kind of interrupting—when someone is saying something you think is simply stupid or irrelevant—is the least forgivable and will eventually affect your relationships and your success. The only way to shift this kind of interrupting is to examine your attitude about others and work to change it. This might uncover a bigger problem, such as you are on the wrong team or in the wrong job or you routinely judge perfectly competent people and find them wanting. Useful to know.

Can you find yourself in one of these? The more you can understand what drives your behavior, the easier it will be to manage it.

The process that works for behavior change is to take the following steps:

Notice the behavior and the impact it has on others.
Decide that the behavior is making enough of a negative impact on your effectiveness with others that it is worth making the effort to change. Remember, it must be a choice.
Pay attention to what is happening when you engage in the behavior. Watch for the spark that sets you off.
Practice what you might do the next time a spark presents itself in a safe environment. Specifically for interrupting, it might be as simple as putting your hand over your mouth. If managing your energy is a problem, try doing something with your hands—knit, draw, needlepoint—anything that might help you to stay present. If you often interrupt because you get excited about an idea, always have a notebook on hand so you can make a note and not worry about forgetting your question or brilliant idea.
Share your quest to change your behavior with your colleagues. This can only work with people you trust. If you notice that you interrupt because that is the only way to get any airtime, you can ask the meeting leader to make sure all are heard. Sharing that you are working on your tendency to interrupt may also garner you some feedback about the impact you have. You may find out that nobody minds—although that will probably not be the case.
Experiment. Be kind to yourself when you fail or when you try something that isn’t effective. At least people will know you are trying.
Keep track of your progress and what you did when you were successful. Discard methods that don’t work and keep repeating what does work.
Before long, you will notice you have made a change. Don’t let your guard down, though. Stay alert to what might cause a relapse.

I recommend you don’t try to change anything else about yourself while you are actively working on your tendency to interrupt. Set your mind to making a shift and give yourself a good three months. I’ll bet you will see a big difference.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Everything Is Irritating—and You Don’t Know Why? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 04 Feb 2023 12:14:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I have raised three children while working full time. I am now a senior executive. I love my job and am normally a very even-keeled, cheerful person.

Recently, however, I am feeling out of sorts. What does it mean when everything is irritating and everyone is aggravating? Thought you might have some ideas for me.

Vexed

__________________________________________________________________________

Dear Vexed,

These days, of course, my first thought is that you might be coming down with Covid, the flu, RSV, strep throat, bronchitis, or pneumonia.

Once you’ve ruled that out, you have to look at the big life events that, even if positive, can cause massive stress. On the positive list, are you moving your home? Getting married? Planning a wedding for one of your kids? Have you gotten a puppy? (Don’t even get me started on the puppy thing.) All of those events can really knock you off center, even if they are wonderful and fun. And then the not-so-fun biggie: Perhaps you have lost someone you love recently and are still grieving, but are thinking you should be over it by now. I find that grief lasts a lot longer than anyone wants it to . And it can wreak all kinds of havoc.

If you aren’t sure, you can take the assessment on The American Institute of Stress website. There was no mention of global pandemics or significant political unrest, so that page needs to be updated.

If it isn’t big life stuff, it may be that you are tolerating entirely too much.

Tolerations are seemingly inconsequential little things that drain away your energy. Thomas Leonard, a trailblazer in the coaching profession, coined the word to describe all of the small stuff that takes up mental space and distracts us from the task at hand. Tolerations have a way of accumulating, like barnacles on the hull of a ship. A few are not a problem, but layers of them seriously impede the vessel’s speed and seaworthiness. A ship covered in barnacles will require twice the fuel to get to its destination than a ship with none.

It is such a simple construct, the idea of tolerations. These dumb little things, taken by themselves, are not a big deal—but when they add up they can make you feel like you are carrying rocks everywhere you go. Everyone has a critical mass. Some can put up with a lot more than others. The way you know yours has been reached is exactly how you described it: everything is irritating and everyone is aggravating.

Make a list of all the dumb little things you are putting up with around your house, at work, in your relationships. Identify a few you can knock down today or this week. You will be back on an even keel.

Examples might be helpful:

You walk five miles a day and your shoes are shot.
Your dog keeps scarfing food off the counter whenever you turn your back.
The light bulb on your front porch is out and you can’t see well enough to put your key in the lock. And you live someplace really cold.
Someone at work keeps scheduling meetings over meetings you have committed to. They can easily see your available time but are somehow not checking.
You never wear half of what’s in your closet, and there is no room for new things.
You have stuff in your freezer from 2019.
Your folder system on your computer is outdated and it takes 6 clicks to get to the stuff you are currently working on.
Someone has stolen your phone charger in the kitchen so you can’t plug it in so you can listen to your podcasts while making dinner.
You know you are paying for subscriptions you never use but haven’t taken the time to cancel all of them.
The person in the household who is supposed to take the trash out has to be asked. Repeatedly.
The person who thinks you should be taking the trash out has a different definition of full than you do.
You need new windshield wipers, but only remember when it rains.
Every time you pick up your mail, you swear to yourself you will move everything to paperless billing, but you keep forgetting.
You need a new battery for your TV remote. It still kind of works, but only sporadically. It needs a special battery that you never have on hand.
Your favorite plant is doing so well that it needs to be re-potted.
You are tired of your book club but worry that quitting will hurt someone’s feelings.
You are a serious golfer and hate your putter.
Someone in your life does not plan well, and they consistently try to make their perfectly avoidable emergencies your problem.

See? Little things. Dumb. No big deal. But you probably have over 25 right now, which is the upper limit for most people. Get some of them off the list, and you will be back to your cheerful, even-keeled self in no time. I promise.

Tolerations tend to build up over time, and I highly recommend making a list twice a year and creating a plan to address them all. It feels amazing.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Want to Be a Better Mentor? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 28 Jan 2023 13:03:02 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

My organization instituted a mentoring program a few years ago. We have a cool online system so that prospective mentees can review bios and request people who have signed up to be mentors. I have been chosen by a few people and have really enjoyed being a mentor.

Our system provides some guidelines to mentors but it isn’t a lot of information, and I have some questions. Our HR person didn’t have many answers for me so I thought I should ask you.

I notice that you are a coach and I am wondering: what do you think the difference is between coaching and mentoring? What is my responsibility as a mentor? How do I know how much is enough? What is too much? What if I hear something that I think should be reported to my mentee’s boss? That hasn’t happened yet, but I find that it can get pretty personal. What else do I need to know?

Wondering

__________________________________________________________________________

Dear Wondering,

What a fun question! Thanks! First, you are a good egg to sign up to mentor. It can be great fun, and you can certainly learn a lot, but it is a service you are providing.

Although I am told that nobody buys or reads books anymore, I still must recommend the one that Ken Blanchard wrote with Claire Diaz-Ortiz (who is staggeringly cool, look her up). It’s called One Minute Mentoring: How to Find and Work with a Mentor—And Why You’ll Benefit from Being One.

The book is an easy and fun read and will fill in some gaps for you.

A couple of pointers though:

Establish desired outcomes. The first thing you will want to establish in a mentoring relationship is what the mentee hopes to accomplish by working with a mentor. This will help you to build a road map for the relationship, and to know if you have done a good job at the end.
Designate a timeline. You will want to establish a time limit for the mentoring relationship as well, not that you can’t choose to carry on when you have reached the finish line, if both parties agree. But designating a timeline eliminates any discomfort around calling it quits if the goals have been accomplished, or if either party wants to move on.
Create a partnership agreement. How will you work together? How will you give each other feedback if the need arises? How will you deal with it if you disagree about a course of action?
Design a structure. You can tweak the agreement as you go but putting form to the function is important. Will you meet in person, on the phone, or on Zoom? How often and for how long? Maybe agree on a midpoint check-in to assess if things are going as well as you’d both like.
Track progress. It should be the mentee’s job to create a written record of the goals, commitments, accomplishments, and insights gained over the course of the mentoring relationship. It will help you both to recognize the value of your time spent together.
Let the mentee drive the relationship. This is my opinion, but being a mentor is a service and I don’t think it is up to you to chase after your mentee. If the mentee is not taking the work seriously, you can certainly make that observation. If the mentee is not showing up for meetings, you can ask what is going on. You can also ask if there is anything you have done or said that has turned off the mentee. That is keeping up your end of the bargain, and you can leave it at that.
Determine the confidentiality parameters. To answer your question, “What if I hear something?”—I am a fan of the “cone of silence,” so that mentees can feel safe to be themselves and share things they aren’t comfortable sharing with anyone else. This demands your commitment to never, ever reveal anything you learn about your mentee unless you have a legal obligation to do so. I am hoping that your organization has provided some guidelines on this; maybe it is buried in the fine print. You may have a duty to escalate anything you hear about:
- Serious mental health issues like suicidal ideation.
- Anything that might become a lawsuit. For example, suppose your mentee is suffering from what sounds like a form of harassment. Because you are an agent of the organization, if your mentee can show that he spoke to someone in the organization about the problem and nothing was done—even if he asked you not to do anything—it could blow up in your face.
- Illegal activity. For example, if your mentee suspects that her boss or a colleague is stealing, sharing trade secrets, or is engaging in other nefarious behaviors.

I know that these parameters apply to our professional coaches. Of course, your first line of defense will always be to encourage your mentee to escalate to HR or a mental health professional. They may just need your help to distinguish fact from speculation or, worst case, to find the courage to escalate if that is appropriate.

Traditionally, the mentor’s job includes:

Being a role model: Engaging in distinct activities and displaying behaviors that are role specific.
Consulting: Sharing information or expertise about the industry, company, or business unit that the mentor believes is relevant to the mentee.
Brokering: Making introductions to powerful, influential, and otherwise useful individuals in the industry or organization.
Advocating: Promoting the mentee’s work assignments or career development to help the mentee’s growth and development.
Championing: Listening to the mentee’s interests, passions, and strengths, and encouraging them to ask for what they need to grow.

Mentors will often find themselves in a coaching conversation. This can happen when a goal is not crystal clear, or when a problem is overwhelmingly complex. In these situations, coaching can be used to create clarity. Coaching is a great tool when the mentor does not have enough expertise to add the most value or give advice. Coaching conversations promote discovery, generate insights, and clarify purposeful action for another. When this kind of thing crops up, listen carefully, reflect back what you are hearing, and ask open ended questions. Here are some classic coaching questions that you might deploy, depending on the situation:

What is most important right now?
What is working well/not working the way you’d like?
What is getting in your way/stopping you?
What is driving you/sustaining you?
What are you assuming here?
What belief might not be serving you?
What are you resisting?
What are you allowing/tolerating?
How have you contributed to this situation?
How might you change the narrative?
How are you going to make this decision?
What question should we be asking right now?

As one recent webinar participant pithily noted, a mentor will answer your questions while a coach will question your answers. Often, it is true that the mentor would rather be the brilliant one with all the answers, while the coach is dedicated to the mentee being the brilliant one. And if the match is made in heaven, you will both be brilliant.

Do these conversations tend to blend together and overlap? Sure, they do. Ultimately, if you accept that your number one job is to advocate for the mentee’s best self and best interest, you will have to trust yourself and use your good judgment.

I hope your mentoring experience continues to be a positive experience!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Ambiguity Making You Crazy? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 14:57:12 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I have risen through the ranks of my organization very quickly. Last year I took on a lot of new responsibilities with almost no direction, did a good job, and got a raise and a promotion. My boss, the president of the company, has told me several times that he sees me as partner material.

One of my superpowers is figuring things out—but I fear I have reached my limit in one area.

I keep asking my boss for more clarity on what is expected of me to be able to reach partner. And he keeps saying I need to become “more comfortable with ambiguity.” It is maddening. If I knew what I was supposed to be doing, I would be doing it. But he won’t tell me.

Any ideas for me on how to break through this impasse?

Flying Blind

______________________________________________________________________

Flying Blind,

You have just described the exact conundrum of making the leap from operational leadership to strategic leadership. When you reach the top ranks of any organization, the biggest shift is that there is no longer anyone to tell you what to do. What your boss is trying to express is that at the level you are playing, it is up to you to use your best judgment and make it up.

What most people don’t realize (until they are doing it) is that executive leadership is a wildly creative—and risky—business. When people are young, a little naïve, and lacking in experience, it can be incredibly exciting. When people have suffered the pain of making expensive mistakes, it can be terrifying.

Here is an article published recently: “The Ultimate Test: What I learned about leadership from Covid-19” that lays out exactly what I mean.

Managing ambiguity literally means figuring out how to get things done when things are not clear, nothing is certain, and there is no road map. It means looking at the whole picture and envisioning the path from where things are now to where you and the other senior leaders say you want to be.

Almost nothing you have been good at or thought you knew up till now is going to help you much, but it can be a good foundation. You will be required to let go of your addiction to checking tasks off your list and get comfortable with moving from incomplete task to incomplete task. For people who define themselves by their ability to get things done, this is a mind-bending transition. Get used to spending your time sharing your vision for the direction your people need to go and experimenting with approaches. Be prepared to adapt as new information comes in, and to pivot if necessary.

The metaphor that has been helpful to many is instead of checkers, you are now playing chess. Instead of moving all your pieces across the board quickly in a day or a week, you will now be lucky to make one or two moves in that time. Each move will require a lot of thought and consideration, frequent checking with others on the team, and possibly accepting a temporary fix until new information is revealed. It is dealing with constant change—and the job is never done.

One thing you can’t do on your own is decide on strategic imperatives. If your boss cannot articulate those, you can push for the leadership team to make decisions on what they are. Once you have those, and a sense of a budget, you will have to make up the rest.

Hopefully, you have organizational values to guide your decisions. If you don’t, you will have to decide on your own leadership values. That means you must know what is most important. That is a whole can of worms in itself and you can find more on that here . If your organization has not spent the time to articulate its values, you can advocate for putting some attention on that. Get some arguments for doing that here.

To be a partner means to be a co-owner with the other partners. Your boss is waiting for you to be brave. So be brave.

Make a plan for what you think needs to be done for you and your people to achieve, or even exceed, the strategic goals that have been set. Do you have the right people in the right seats? (Do they have the skills to do the job the way it needs to be done?) If not, how will you address that issue? Do you have all the resources you need? What hasn’t been thought about yet? What obstacles need to be cleared?

Let me be clear here: this is not a plan for how you will make partner. It is a plan for how you will lead your people to accomplish what needs to be done for the organization. It isn’t about you, it is about the success of your team and the organization.

Lay out the path for how you will do everything. Make a list of the unknowns and the obstacles you can see today. You will be worried that you’ve made mistakes, that you’ve missed something, and that it won’t be perfect—which will almost certainly be the case. That’s OK. No one and nothing is perfect right out of the gate.

Take your plan to your boss as your best guess of what you think you should be doing in the next 12 to 18 months and see what he says. Talk it through, get feedback, and share it with other leaders in the organization. If you think you are right about something that others disagree with, have the courage of your convictions and make your case. Or, if you think someone else’s point of view makes sense, let yourself be influenced. Then tweak the plan, share it with your team, and go.

You have passed the point of studying for the quiz and getting 100% and a gold star. You are now in unknown territory where you have to make your own map, and the test is about making decisions in the absence of enough information. Not only are there no gold stars on offer now, you will be surrounded by people who think they could do it better if they were in your shoes.

You say you have reached your limit for figuring things out? I say you are just getting started. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You are signing up for a bumpy but exciting ride!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

4 Ways to Increase Your Chances of Keeping This Year’s Resolutions—Ask Madeleine

David Witt — Sat, 31 Dec 2022 13:07:12 +0000

Madeleine Homan Blanchard is on holiday break this week and will return with new questions from readers beginning on January 7^th. While on break—and as we move into the new year, Madeleine suggested this advice she offered a reader looking for some help succeeding with New Year’s resolutions. Use this link to see the original question and Madeleine’s complete response.

Join Madeleine next week for a new year of advice for well-intentioned managers!

Pick one big thing. Probably the main reason people don’t achieve their goals—other than lack of deep personal commitment—is that they have set too many. So your angst that you may be loading up on goals is probably spot on. As you swing back to normal after a big holiday season, you are already behind, so you must manage your own expectations. Choose one big thing and let the rest go.
Get Support. Lots of it. Change is hard, no matter what it is—and if you’re trying to break an addiction like nicotine or sugar, it is doubly hard. The brain craves anything that causes a predictable release of dopamine, so you’ll need more support than you think you do. Tapering off can help, as can support groups, a buddy, keeping a journal, daily acknowledgment, or asking for help from your guardian angel or whatever you know to be your higher power.
Break it Down. You have one big goal. Break it down into small sub-goals or daily commitments. Ask yourself: What can I do, every day, to keep myself on track? Make a chart and check off something every day. (I’m sure there’s an app for this, but I’m committed to reducing my screen time, so I go with paper.)
Make it Compelling: Now let’s loop back to my first point, which is that you really have to care about doing the work to achieve your goal. You can’t do it for your spouse, your kids, your dad, or anyone else, no matter how much you care about them. So, choose something you really, really want. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t a big deal to anyone else, or if it isn’t going to make you a better person. If you really care, there is a chance you will succeed.

About Madeleine

Ask Madeleine: The Top 5 of 2022

David Witt — Sat, 24 Dec 2022 14:38:10 +0000

2022 will be remembered as a year of continued change as workers adapt to a post-COVID, hybrid work environment. This was reflected in the questions Madeleine received from her readers. Here is a list of this year’s top five, most-viewed columns. Madeleine will be back on January 7^th with a new year of questions from well-meaning managers—possibly yours?

Feel Like a Fraud?

A reader who started at an entry-level position, got an MBA, and rose steadily in her company shares being dogged by a feeling that she isn’t quite as good or quite as smart as others think she is. Madeleine shares how imposter syndrome troubles many well-meaning leaders and how to address it. https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/feel-like-a-fraud-ask-madeleine

Serious “Resting Face” Issues?

Madeleine helps a friendly, but somewhat serious, manager who has been told she told she has a resting b*%*# face. Madeleine commiserates and shares some strategies. https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/serious-resting-face-issues-ask-madeleine

Boss Is Always Criticizing You?

Madeleine offers practical tips for a reader dealing with a new boss who is constantly criticizing everything they do and seems to be trying to make them feel terrible in small and large ways. https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/boss-is-always-criticizing-you-ask-madeleine

Not Sure about Blowing the Whistle?

A reader asks a COVID-related question that begs a bigger discussion of what to do when you face an ethical dilemma. https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/not-sure-about-blowing-the-whistle-ask-madeleine

Considering Working with a Coach?

Madeleine helps a reader sort through the pros and cons of working with a coach—including some key questions to ask. https://resources.kenblanchard.com/blanchard-leaderchat/considering-working-with-a-coach-ask-madeleine

Do you have a question for Madeleine? Send an email to madeleine.blanchard@kenblanchard.com. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each email personally. Questions will be edited for clarity and length.

Best Wishes for the New Year!

About Madeleine

Struggling with a Matrix Environment? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 05 Nov 2022 13:10:51 +0000

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Dear Madeleine,

I work in a company that has recently gone to a matrix environment. It is kind of a disaster because no one seems to know what that means. Trying to get anyone to make a decision so I can move forward with projects on a deadline is making work incredibly stressful. I pride myself on getting things done on time, and I am going to be late on several key deliverables through no fault of my own.

I have at least two bosses now and am not sure which person to go to for what. One of them is not at all interested in letting go of her previous unilateral authority and is resisting my efforts to get the buy-in I need from her before I move ahead with things.

I am really struggling. Any ideas would be helpful.

Matrix Madness

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Matrix Madness,

Yours isn’t the first (and won’t be the last) company to adopt a shift to a matrix organizing structure without properly preparing everyone. (For details on matrix organizations, click here.) It is a source of universal suffering—and until things get worked out, you will have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Essentially, your company (like many others) is trying to get everyone in the organization to be more included, which will eventually help all of you manage the complexity of your business. Moving to a matrix is supposed to break down silos and solve the problem of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing. And it can—it just causes a fair amount of chaos first.

I have a few ideas, all of which come from working with clients who have been through a similar change.

First, try to relax. Everyone is upside down, not just you. Identify the projects you are responsible for that are critical and time sensitive. Ask yourself: Will a customer be upset if the project is late? Will other projects be held up if things are delayed on my end? Once you have identified those, communicate with anyone who may be affected by your delays. Anything you can do to avoid disappointing people and to manage expectations on your deadlines will help relieve your anxiety.
Try to escalate the extent of the confusion to the company leadership. Your organization has adopted a massive change effort without taking the steps to educate and bring people along, which is why one boss is not onboard and is causing static for you. Maybe there is a way for you to ask for more training or more direction on what it means to work in a matrix.
A matrix will force you to act more like a leader. Communicate in writing all decisions and all intel you have to anyone who needs to be involved in a decision. Provide deadlines for feedback along with your own recommendations. Make clear when you will be moving forward, so that everyone knows their input is needed by a certain time.
Half your problem is that the change has been implemented as you are mid-project with many things, so that makes it harder. In the future, at the beginning of new projects, use a RACI chart so you know who to involve at what step. A RACI is a time honored way for setting up a project that clarifies who needs to be involved and how. I know a lot of people learn this in business school—it seems to be immediately forgotten, but is incredibly useful.

A RACI chart identifies the following:

R — Responsible – who is responsible for doing the work on a daily basis and making sure each item that needs to get done has an owner and is tracked.

A — Accountable – who is ultimately accountable for getting a goal or task completed, has the power to approve or veto actions or final product.

C — Consulted – who needs to have input into how the task gets done, whose opinion must be sought through two-way conversation. This step is often overlooked, which can cause a lot of problems.

I — Informed – who has an interest in the work because it will affect them in some way and needs to be kept up to date and notified of results. This can usually be a one-way communication.

Just because you are midstream with some of your projects doesn’t mean you can’t at least try to figure out the RACI now.

Dealing with your recalcitrant boss is a whole separate issue. You might want to have a one on one with her to explain why you feel the need to loop more people into decision making. Certain kinds of managers who experience having certain kinds of information and making decisions as a form of power can really struggle in a shift to a matrix. You might share this article with her and maybe even the RACI chart idea. You may end up having to go around her—which will certainly decrease her power and relevance—but you can’t really control her behavior.

You are obviously a dedicated and responsible contributor. Learning to navigate this disruption without letting yourself get upset will serve you well. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are going to be fine.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Not Sure Where to Start as a New Manager? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 03 Sep 2022 12:10:29 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I am a junior partner in a small investment firm. My job is huge—there is always more to do than time to do it.

Last year, the firm hired a junior analyst to work with me. I did my best, but things just didn’t work out. He worked very slowly, made lots of mistakes, and got super defensive every time I tried to give him feedback. Our HR person told me the fit was all wrong. They found another position for him in the company and I have been limping along without help.

I have finally found someone else but I am terrified of repeating what happened last time. The first guy told my boss that he was intimidated by me. I don’t know what do with that. To be fair, I am a type A personality, I’m good at figuring things out and getting things done, and I guess I expect other people to be like that, too.

I realize I don’t know the first thing about managing someone. I am so gun-shy now. Can you give me some ideas about where to start?

New Manager

_________________________________________________________

Dear New Manager,

Well, there are about a million books on this subject and even more people out there offering classes on the topic. However, you asked me, so I will take a crack at it.

First let me say that I spent thirty years working hard at being a decent manager, which is not natural for me. If I can do it, so can you. I was never great at it but I was never the cause of a hostile work environment lawsuit, so I am calling that a win.

I have had more people tell me they are intimidated by me than I can count. It took me years to stop trying so hard not to be intimidating, and it never really worked. The only thing to do if people tend to respond to you that way is to make clear from the outset that you care deeply about their success, you intend nothing but the best for them, and you will have their back no matter what.

Avoid BLMS

The first thing you need to know is no one else is like you. You might have things in common with direct reports, but the big difference is that you are a manager and they are not. If they were like you, they would be managing people. Scott Blanchard calls this “Be Like Me Syndrome” (BLMS) – when you fail at managing people because you expect them to be like you. They aren’t. But if you do a great job, they will find their own strengths and become more themselves as they get better at what they do.

Get Better at Hiring

The next thing to know—and I am sorry if this is too late for your new hire, but you can tuck it away for the future—is that most of the battle with getting it right with an employee is hiring the right one. It sounds simple, but of course it’s anything but. I have suffered from hiring disasters and I have also been lucky. You want to look for a couple of very specific things:

A strong locus of control. This means they take responsibility for themselves, their own experience, and their own destiny, and are not inclined to blame others for their own lack of success.
A growth mindset. This means they trust themselves to be able to learn, to grow, to recover from mistakes, and to move on with the confidence that they will be able to rise to whatever challenge they face.

Skills and experience are always desirable, of course, but those can be learned and gained over time. For more on hiring, here is a great article by Adam Robinson, CEO of Hireology. Ultimately, you don’t want to hire a turtle if you need them to climb a tree. If you need someone to climb a tree, hire a squirrel.

Start with Crystal Clear Direction

Once you do get started with a new direct report (DR for short) the most important thing you can do is give them crystal clear direction about what the job is, the exact tasks they are expected to perform, the best way to perform them, and the timeline associated with each task. As Ken Blanchard often says, you must paint the picture of what a good job looks like, catch people doing things right, and offer gentle re-direction when they don’t. Anything you can do to help clarify will be useful, including checklists, examples, detailed instructions, and common pitfalls to avoid.

Explain to your DR that your job is to help them be as successful as possible. You will start by helping them identify transferable skills they can build on while you offer feedback on what is working and what needs to be sharpened. Explain that it will feel like you are a (dreaded) micromanager until you see evidence that they are able to go it alone on any given task, at which point you will loosen up. You will have to find a happy medium between “good enough” and “the way I would have done it” so your DR can build their own confidence and find their own way. Reassure your DR that you will start with tight supervision and loosen up as their competence and confidence increases.

This is a very short version of our flagship training, SLII®. You can find more on that here.

I managed people (badly) for years before I found SLII® and it felt like someone turned the light on in a dark room. I had shied away from giving clear direction because I didn’t want to come off as bossy. (Note: I am, in fact, bossy—how else could I write this column?) This often left me disappointed in what I got from people. Using the SLII® approach will help you to avoid the two biggest mistakes you can make:

Breathing down people’s necks when they are perfectly capable of doing a good enough job (i.e., indulging your own perfectionism).
Leaving people to their own devices and then criticizing their work after the fact (i.e., using hope as a management strategy).

Share Your Expectations

You will also want to state your expectations for your DR very clearly and be ready to reiterate them. Most managers I work with think their implicit expectations are obvious to everyone, so when they aren’t met, it seems shoddy or willful. But today more than ever, the things you expect to be obvious to everyone simply are not. Your employees will be coming from homes, cultures, educational systems, and generations that are different from yours, and you will need to make your standards clear.

Examples of things most managers think are obvious are their beliefs that people should:

be on time
ask for help when they need it
figure out the platforms and systems you use in your business
book time with you to review high stakes work and get feedback
proof their work before sending it to you or to anyone else outside of your department
review their work to catch egregious errors
use spell check and Grammarly if they weren’t English majors
try to see the bigger picture of how their work fits into the results of the whole department
escalate when they are overwhelmed and cannot complete all of their work
come to you for clarification about priorities
dress appropriately for the business they are in
take breaks and take proper care of themselves
tell you when something is wrong.

It sounds like a lot, because it is. But unless you tell people what matters most to you, they will waste their time “boss watching” trying to figure it out and they will get it wrong. You simply cannot expect people to read your mind.

Lead with Values

If your company doesn’t have a strong onboarding program, you will want to explain to your new DR what the business does, who it serves, and how it generates revenue and profit. You will want to share the company values if any exist—and if not, share your own leadership values. If you have no idea what your values are, now is a good time to get some insight so you can share them with others. Read 4 Questions to Help Clarify Your Core Values to get started. It might be a good idea to have your new hire to do the same, so you can start a strong two-way communication about preferences and workstyles.

Scott Blanchard often shares the advice his boss gave him when he started his first job as a supervisor: “Remember that everything you do or say will end up being dinner table conversation tonight.” The fact that you even care enough to do a little due diligence on this is a good sign. You might make some missteps, but if you own them, share your awareness of them, learn from them, and keep trying to do better (all examples of a strong locus of control and growth mindset, by the way) you will be okay.

Be kind. Be clear. Be consistent. Go forth and win hearts and minds.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Trying to Be Careful with Counseling a Direct Report? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 20 Aug 2022 12:08:33 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I lead a team of eight employees. One of them is dealing with a personal crisis outside of work and I can see he is struggling. This isn’t the first time I’ve had an employee dealing with crisis, given COVID, but somehow I have managed to get by.

I want to be the compassionate, supportive leader he needs, but I also don’t want to pry too much or blur the lines on our professional relationship. I just don’t have training to be a therapist or counselor and I need clear direction.

Can you help?

Wanting to Up My Game

________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Wanting to Up My Game,

The problem with managing humans is that they are—well, humans. Being human is complicated and often hard. No one is immune from accidents, illness, addiction, mental health crises, emergencies, or acts of God (Fire! Floods! Earthquakes! Tornadoes!) that happen to them or a loved one. Most employees will have a spouse/partner, children, and/or aging parents who will inevitably need the kind of attention that will bleed into workdays and cause distraction. On my own team of seven we recently had one person whose husband, a police officer, was shot and killed in the line of duty, one person whose mother was in hospice care, one whose brother-in-law died suddenly, and yet another whose brother was in a tragic accident. And the rest of us all had happy distractions—graduations, engagements, weddings. As you can imagine, getting the work done was chaotic and a team effort.

My experience is that as organizations seek efficiencies, teams get leaner and leaner and there is absolutely no wiggle room. People can’t take vacation time because there is no backup for them. Employees can’t afford to get sick, can’t afford for a child to get sick, and don’t have the time to deal with a parent who has fallen and been rushed to the hospital with a broken elbow. So not only are employees stretched to the max with work commitments, any added personal commitments can feel completely overwhelming.

How, as a manager, do you address this?

The first order of business is to get very familiar with whatever support is available to employees through your EAP. I will admit that I don’t pay any attention to all the emails I get from HR about the amazing benefits available to me and my dependents until I need to. This will be true for most people. So the more you know, the quicker you can direct people to the kinds of support that is probably free for them, and the better.

The next step is to build your relationship with your HR Business Partner (HRBP), if you have one. Again, most of us don’t think about them until we need them, but it is literally their job to help you navigate difficult situations and avoid potential legal traps. In my career as a manager, I have lost two employees to cancer and the cases were totally different. One employee wanted to come to work until she literally couldn’t anymore and another wanted to step out of the job right away. In both cases, our HR team was with me every step of the way to offer clarity on short-term and long-term disability insurance, honoring the wishes of the stricken employee as much as possible, and making sure they were properly taken care of all the while juggling the need for backup resources so the work still got done.

Once you know what your options are in terms of where and how to direct people who could use help, you need a clear guide to diplomacy so you can have the hard conversations. There is a fine line between being empathetic, having compassion for someone, and giving them the space they need to take care of a personal issue—and feeling taken advantage of. Here is an article about Leading with Empathy that sheds some light on how to avoid crossing that line.

In Leadership is An Art, Max de Pree said “The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality.” The last thing you want to do is pretend that everything is okay when it isn’t, so ultimately it will be up to you to gather your courage and take the plunge to address the situation head on. For this, I would direct you to our wonderful Conversational Capacity model that urges finding the sweet spot between candor and curiosity.

You don’t mention in your letter just how much your employee’s “struggling” is affecting his performance, so it is important for you to assess your own needs and needs of your team before you have a conversation. You want to be crystal clear on what you hope to achieve by having the conversation. So—what do you want?

Do you want to simply extend empathy? Do you want to let your employee know that you have noticed that he is struggling, you can see that he is valiantly trying to cope, and you want him to know you are there for him if he wants to talk?
Do you hope your employee will get help? And you want him to know about and take advantage of the support available to him? He might be insulted, but the fact is that it is your job as a manager to make sure that employees know and use their benefits.
Do you need to make a request for your employee to get back on track performance-wise? Hard to do without feeling like a monster, but again, reality is reality.
Do you think your employee should take time off? Be ready with details on short-term disability options.
Something else?

The clearer you are about what you want to achieve going into the conversation, the better off you will be. So, in your case you might plan the conversation like this:

Start with Candor

State your position: This is what I am noticing, this is the impact on your work, this is the impact on the team, this is the impact on our ability to meet our deadlines and commitments, and something needs to be done to address the situation. Focus on what’s true with no judgment or blame.

Explain your thinking: Share the evidence you used to arrive at your position and how you have interpreted that evidence. Keep things strictly evidence-based and not personal. There is no reason you can’t say to your employee exactly what you said in your letter: “I want to be the compassionate, supportive leader [you] need, but I also don’t want to pry too much or blur the lines on our professional relationship.”

Follow with Curiosity

Test your perspective: Ask if there is anything you have missed, if you might have a blind spot, or if there is something you should know.

Inquire into the views of others: Ask if there might be another perspective. Encourage your employee to be truthful and candid without sharing anything that doesn’t need to be shared. Invite ideas on how the situation might realistically be addressed. You might say: “I need your help to brainstorm the best path forward so that you can do what you need to do to take care of yourself and I can do what I need to do to take care of the team and meet our deadlines.”

It may be very hard for your employee to face the reality of his situation and to admit his struggling is affecting his performance. It is possible that the hard conversation will help him face the truth and leave him open to considering options. If he seems to feel exposed, is sensitive and thoughtful, and seems unprepared, you will want to be ready to offer him time to think about his options and come back for another conversation. Take it step by step.

I have been teaching coaching skills for almost 30 years to managers in organizations and I have lost count of the times I have heard the statement: “It sounds like you are asking us to be therapists.”

No. Asking managers to be able to have personal conversations with other humans about the human condition, and their human experience in particular, is simply asking them to be human. Just listening to someone does not constitute therapy. You are not required to offer therapeutic services or counseling. You are required to listen, understand, offer any options and available solutions, and craft a reasonable go-forward plan to best meet the needs of all stakeholders.

Just because people experience emotions when talking about what they are going through doesn’t mean you are now a psychologist. It just means they are having emotions. It took me a long time to remember to always have tissues available in my office, but I finally got that memo. Let’s face it, we are asking our people to bring themselves—their whole selves—to work. This is how we get the passion, the innovation, the commitment, and that magical discretionary energy. We can’t then turn around and ask them to leave parts of themselves at home (or these days, in another part of the house).

And just for the record, you managed to “get by” through COVID, so I would argue that you are already doing something right.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Not Connecting with One of Your Direct Reports? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 10:45:00 +0000

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Dear Madeleine,

What do I do if I just can’t connect with one of my direct reports?

I was recently promoted and inherited a whole new team in addition to the one I had before. The team is good and was well led (the leader left for another opportunity).

I get along really well with everyone on the team—except for one person. She never smiles. In my efforts to get to know her better, she has offered monosyllabic answers to questions. For example, when I asked her what she does for fun, or to relax, she literally said “nothing.” When we do our social connection stuff on team calls, she never contributes.

I have never encountered this kind of thing before. I am thinking maybe she doesn’t like me or maybe just doesn’t like men. (Her former boss was female.)

I find myself avoiding having one on ones with her and not thinking of her when it comes to giving out assignments, which I know isn’t fair. I am supposed to have career development conversations with all of my people, and I am dreading trying to do that with her.

Any thoughts on this?

Shut Out

________________________________________________________________________

Dear Shut Out,

There are any number of things potentially going on here. But no matter what, there is one rule of thumb that will help you as you sort through it:

Do. Not. Take. Anything. Personally. Ever.

Especially other people’s personalities or behavior. Especially anything your direct reports do.

OK. Now we are clear on that.

There are a couple of ideas you might consider. Get in touch with her former leader and ask if there is anything you should know. If that isn’t an option, call your HR business partner and ask if there is anything you need to know about the folks on your new team. If your employee who is making you uncomfortable is in fact Neurodivergent, someone in HR probably knows about it and possibly forgot to give you a heads up. If that is the case, there may be some recommendations or guidelines for you there. If that is not the case, you may very well be dealing with someone who is exceptionally introverted and/or shy. Maybe both. I know many introverts for whom the social aspect of team calls is a nightmare. I know many introverts who take a very long time to trust and warm up to new people. When people are introverts, it is simply a personality trait. It is not about you.

The question is: how is this person’s work—is it up to par? Does she meet deadlines? Does she work cooperatively with others? You don’t mention this, so I am assuming the answer to all of the questions is yes. It doesn’t sound like anyone on the team has complained about her. If this is the case, there is no reason to dread having a career conversation with her.

You can ask the questions, maybe provide them to her in writing before the conversation so she doesn’t feel put on the spot. Perhaps even give her the option of providing her answers in writing so she doesn’t have to deal with the discomfort of a video call. The questions might be something like:

Are you engaged and satisfied in your current job?
Do you think you are able to use your skills and strengths in your job?
Do you see yourself moving or changing jobs in the company? If so, where?
What/who is going to slow you down or stop you from getting there?
What/who is needed to facilitate your getting there?
Is there anything about you that you think I should know?
Is there anything else you want me to know?

Possibly your company has given you a format for career conversations—you can certainly use that.

In the end, you don’t need your employee to like you, to smile, or to be friendly. You just need to build trust so she respects you, and let her get on with doing her job. I suspect the harder you try to get her to conform to the kind of behavior that makes you feel good, the more she will resist.

So relax. Let her be herself. Trust that she won’t attend the office bowling party and that it doesn’t have to mean anything, and be okay with it. Remember: the way people behave is not about you, it is about them.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Team Member Accused Another of Sabotaging Their Work? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 06 Aug 2022 10:41:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I manage three large global teams. They do similar customer service, but for different product lines. They all have very seasoned team leads and produce excellent results.

Our business really took off because of the pandemic and we implemented a data-driven way to measure results that has worked well. For a long time there was friendly competition among the three teams, but we always felt like one department. People would cover for each other and even go out of their way to help colleagues on other teams when appropriate.

Recently, though, it seems that the competition has gotten less friendly—to the point that one team lead just accused another of sabotaging his team’s big push for the end of Q2.

It is very hard to assess whether or not the accusation is true. To really get to the bottom of things I would have to mount an inquiry, interview people, and probably get HR involved. I don’t know if I really want to do that. I’m not sure I have the skills or want to spend time on it. I also wonder if something else is going on here. All three teams had excellent Q2 results, regardless.

Would appreciate your thoughts on this.

Out of My Depth

_________________________________________________________________

Dear Out of My Depth,

You can never underestimate the capacity of human beings to find ways to create tribal conflict with groups perceived as “other.” In the paper Tribalism is Human Nature, the researchers state: “We conclude that tribal bias is a natural and nearly ineradicable feature of human cognition and that no group—not even one’s own—is immune.”

Without knowing details about the actual accusation, any evidence that was provided to support it, or any harm done, it is hard for me to formulate an intelligent response. I wonder, for instance, what exactly the accuser wants you to do about the allegations. What redress is sought?

The whole thing puts you in an untenable position of referee—or worse, judge and jury. If, in fact, the accuser is expecting some kind of retribution, you will have to get HR involved. You could be at risk of a lawsuit.

If it is more at the level of he-said-she-said petty squabbling, perhaps you can choose to pull all three team leads together. Do a big reset in an attempt to get past this and back to the more cooperative all-for-one, one-for-all culture you had before. You might take the time with your leads to walk through the tenets of trustworthiness. Here is a terrific article on the behaviors you could all commit to moving forward: The 10 Commandments of Communication to Build Trust.

Another thought: I learned a long time ago from a pair of gifted coaches, Paul and Layne Cutright, that people are never upset for the reason they think they are. This means your accuser may be upset about something his co-lead did that he either hasn’t admitted to himself or is having a hard time articulating. To get to the bottom of it, you could ask questions like:

What upsets you most about what happened?
What do you think might be done to prevent something like this in the future?
What do you think was going on that caused things to go the way they did?

Just keep asking questions until something useful is revealed. When people perceive a lack of fairness, they often behave irrationally. You might learn that the accuser felt he was being treated unfairly in some way.

The one thing you don’t want to do is ignore the situation. You will have to assess whether things are ugly enough to bring in the professionals (HR) or whether it would make sense to have both team leads engage in dialogue to find a way to get back on an even keel. The Cutrights developed an excellent process to use for a heart-to-heart conversation that can help both parties get all thoughts and feelings out on the table. I will put that process at the end of my response.

Once you have addressed the situation, you will need to rebuild with your team leads and make clear that anything other than cooperation will not be tolerated. That is your job as a leader.

Good luck!

Love Madeleine

PS: Here’s more on the Heart to Heart Process by Paul and Layne Cutright.

Heart-to-Heart Talks, adapted from Layne and Paul Cutright’s book Straight From the Heart

If the participants are committed to the health and success of the relationship and approach this process with a desire to be authentic and vulnerable, this can be a powerful way to discuss difficult issues and allow everyone to be heard.

The process involves three rounds of discussions and the speaker and listener have very specific roles. The speaker has to use a series of lead-in statements that structure the context of how they express their thoughts and emotions. In order to let the speaker know they have been heard and understood, and to allow additional information to be shared, the listener can only respond with the following statements:

The first round involves a series of Discovery statements designed to create openness among the participants and to learn more about each other’s perspectives. The speaker can use the following sentence starters:

The second round comprises Clearing statements that allow for the release of fears, anxiety, and stress, and to increase trust. The speaker can use the following sentence stems:

The third round involves Nurturing statements that create mental and emotional well-being in the relationship. These statements allow the participants to put closure to the difficult issues that were shared and to express appreciation for each other that sets the stage for moving forward in a positive fashion. The speaker can use the following phrases:

The facilitator can structure the process in a number of ways, but the important thing is to establish a rhythm for each round where the speaker gets a defined amount of time to share (using the lead-in statements) and the listener responds after each statement. It’s important for the listener to respond each time because it sets the proper rhythm for the discussion and validates the thoughts being shared by the speaker. The speaker should be encouraged to share whatever comes to mind without censoring their thoughts or saying what they think the other person wants to hear. If the speaker can’t think of anything to share, they can say “blank” and then repeat one of the sentence starters. Encourage the participants to keep the process moving and the thoughts will flow more quickly. At the conclusion of the three rounds, it’s important to close the discussion with a recap of the desired outcomes and any action items the participants want to pursue.

About Madeleine

Needing to Be Liked Getting in Your Way? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 30 Jul 2022 11:15:50 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

Is it naïve to want people to like me? I have been very successful at sales and developing partnerships in my job, partially because I am so good at knowing how to relate to people and getting them to like me.

But recently I am beginning to wonder if having people like me—and being good at it—is really helping me. I have started to manage people and I am having a rough time giving them feedback and holding them accountable. My boss says it is because I have too great a desire for people to like me and I need to get over it. What do you think?

Need to Be Liked

__________________________________________________________________

Dear Need to Be Liked,

First of all, being great at knowing how to relate to people and getting them to like you is a superpower to be thankful for. If it comes naturally, you are lucky—it is a beautiful trait, and the many people who don’t have it work very hard to develop it as a skill.

Is it naïve to think you can make anyone like you? It might be, but as long as it isn’t hurting you, I say enjoy it while you can. As you are experiencing, it may already be hurting you as a manager because giving clear feedback and keeping people accountable is part of your job description. But there are ways to do it that can build relationships instead of eroding them. We’ll get to that in a minute.

I used to think the same thing about myself until a couple of relationships proved me wrong in extremely painful ways. I suspect you will run into some of those. It will have more to do with an imbalance of power combined with conflicting goals than with how the person feels about you. The truth is, when push comes to shove, not everybody is going to like you all the time. And that is okay.

You need to understand something important about needs: Needs will get themselves met. So it is up to you to make sure they get met appropriately. Let me explain.

If your need to be liked is, in fact, a core psychological need instead of just a preference, you need to understand it, notice how it drives your behavior for better and for worse, and learn how to manage that need so it doesn’t get in the way of what you are trying to achieve. There is tons of research about needs, and a lot of theories. Among them is one that psychologists and researchers seem to agree on: Every human being tends to have similar needs for competence, relatedness, and autonomy. Beyond that, individuals differ—but everyone seems to come hardwired with needs that (1) don’t change and (2) will drive behavior to get met. You must find out how to get people to like you in ways that don’t cost you.

How might getting this need met cost you? If it causes you to either choose friends who aren’t good to you or stay in relationships that drag you down, or if it keeps you from being effective in your job. Awareness of your self and your needs is critical so you can make the best choices and thereby protect yourself from your own unconscious behaviors.

You can still be liked as a manager—but the most important thing to remember about being an effective manager is this: Leadership is not about you. It is about the people you are managing. The most important thing you need your people to feel is trust. They must trust that you know what you are doing, that you will give them clear direction and everything else they need to be successful in their jobs, and that you will be fair and consistent. They may or may not like you as a person, but they will definitely trust you.

You can tell your people that it’s your job to give them feedback and you’ll do so whenever it is needed, and that it’s also your job to hold everyone on the team accountable and you’ll be doing that as well. Once you have set the stage for what is expected, it is much easier to follow through on a consistent basis.

Ultimately, the job of a manager is to help their people be as successful as possible in their jobs. You can only do that by giving people feedback—all kinds of feedback—not only, of course, when things go well so they can keep it up, but also when things could be different or better.

Here is an excellent article: Are You a Trustworthy, Self-Aware Leader? by Ken Blanchard with a little bit of detail on our excellent Trust Model and, more to the point, how the need to be liked (which he has in spades) can get in the way of being trustworthy.

The confusing thing about having the need to be liked is that it can be one of the reasons you are successful. It almost certainly is in your case. But there is a moment at which this particular need can become an overused strength and backfire, causing unintended consequences. You are already quite a few steps toward self-awareness, so just keep going. Pay attention, notice, and modulate, taking it one step at a time.

In the meantime, enjoy those relationships—especially your personal ones, where you can be unabashedly yourself with no concern about consequences, with people who love you just the way you are. This way, you can get your need to be liked met with enough people to be satisfied.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Want Deeper Relationships Across Your Business Network? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 23 Jul 2022 10:45:00 +0000

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Dear Madeleine,

I have a couple of questions about networking that I was hoping you could help me with. I am pretty good at walking up to people and networking with them these days. I also message people on LinkedIn asking for chats.

But I struggle to turn network connections into something deeper and more long lasting. For example, how do I ask someone out for lunch so that we can get to know more about each other? How do I turn a professional connection that I just made into a more personal connection?

I read Bob Iger’s book The Ride of a Lifetime and I am a huge fan of the relationship between him and Steve Jobs. Do you have suggestions on how to make network connections like that?

Thanks,

Networking Newbie

___________________________________________________________________________

Dear Networking Newbie,

I love this question so much. Thank you! You are asking about something that seems to be a great mystery to most people. Certainly, my own connections on LinkedIn need to hear the answer.

I had to immediately get Bob Iger’s book and read it, so thanks for that, too!

The very short answer is that to develop relationships you have to get extremely interested in people. And it wouldn’t hurt to be interesting yourself. This isn’t as hard as it sounds—all it means is knowing what your interests are and being serious about pursuing them.

Let me explain. Bob Iger and Steve Jobs ended up with an amazing relationship because they respected each other and were interested in a lot of the same things. They ended up finding ways to work together that mutually benefitted both parties, and they helped each other achieve their goals.

Each individual knew who he was, what was important to him, and what was his goals were. So your first step is to decide those things for yourself. Who are you? What do you love? What is important to you? What are your goals? What do you have to share that can benefit others? These are huge questions that will probably take you a little while to answer. Okay—a lifetime, probably. But you can make a good start.

Let’s start with the easiest one, maybe—your goals. When you know what your goals are, you can make an action plan by creating milestones and action steps. Then you can ask people for advice or for specific help.

People love to give advice. (Hello! I love it so much that I write an advice column!) But seriously, they do. Find people who do jobs you want to do, ask them for 15 minutes on the phone, and send them questions you want them to answer. Make the questions interesting and fun, such as: How did you know you wanted to be ______ (fill in the blank)? What is the biggest obstacle you have ever had to overcome? What one thing do wish you had known when you started out? My son did this with heavy hitters in his industry and got tons of takers for calls and three coffee dates.

People also love to help people but they often don’t have a clear way to do so. Having clear goals gives you an opportunity to ask for very specific kinds of help. You may recall in Bob Iger’s book that his dad asked his roommate in the hospital, who was bragging about what a big deal he was at a TV network, if he could get his son a job interview. He sensed that the guy saw himself as a big shot and was eager to show off how true that was. Bob got a job interview, and it was the start of his career in network TV.

Who do you need to meet? Ask your network if anyone knows that person and can make an introduction. What do you want to know more about? Find people in your network who can teach you something. I was recently at a family reunion and one of my husband’s cousins tracked me down and asked for my salad dressing recipe. I couldn’t have been happier to share, and now we have a bond.

Back when I was an actress, I learned about the power of having a clear goal. I was a member of a great organization called The Actors Information Project, which taught actors to act more like responsible business people. They made us set clear goals beyond just please, God, help me get a job. My goal was to be in a Sondheim musical on Broadway. I told everyone I met that that was my goal. Sure enough, a total stranger I met at a party was a friend of a woman who was casting A Little Night Music. When I said I would die and go to heaven to have a shot at the role of Petra the maid, he agreed it would be a great role for me and said he would be willing to pass on my picture and resume. If I had just said I was an actress looking for work, it wouldn’t have been compelling and he wouldn’t have known how to help me. My agent had also submitted me—but when the casting director got my resume from her friend, I did get an audition (and a call back, not to brag). The whole production was scrapped and I can’t remember why, but you get my point. Also, I kept the guy who helped me in the loop and sent him a thank-you note.

You don’t just want success, you want specific success. That’s how people find a handle on how they can help you. Don’t worry about missing out by being too specific. The specificity gets things going, and then opportunities come that might not be exactly what you wanted—often they are even better.

What do you care about? For example, I connect with people about food and novels, both things I am passionate about. I have buddies online with whom I discuss recipes and the latest book by Geraldine Brooks or Isabel Allende. Whatever it is, find small points of connection on which you can build. On LinkedIn, post questions people are going to want to respond to because they are interested in the topic, such as What is the best book on networking? (I can answer that one—I highly recommend you read everything by the expert on the topic: Keith Ferrazzi. His biggest hit was Never Eat Alone. He will expand on everything I am saying here.) Or What is the worst thing a boss can do to an employee? Or What is your favorite app? Or What is the absolute best hiking boot? Or Does anyone know anyone who works at Patagonia?

I am just throwing out ideas here; you will, of course, have to tailor your questions to your interests. This will help you find people with common interests. You can start conversations online and then maybe move to a phone or Zoom call.

This brings me to more straightforward ideas like either finding Meetup groups of people who love what you love, or starting one yourself. And most cities have actual networking groups where they only accept one person in a given industry or business. The deal is that they all send each other business. That might be more appropriate for someone who is an entrepreneur. There are also lots of Mastermind groups for people who share professional interests—always a great source of real connection.

As you review your connections online, do some research on the people who interest you so it appears that you care about them. Think about what you know that is worth sharing with others, and answer other people’s questions. This will help you find people who might be able to add value to you, as you do the same for them. I find that people who locate me on social media don’t bother doing any research at all and try to sell me things I am not remotely interested in. For example, my job title is Chief Coaching Officer, I have been in the coaching industry for 33 years, and people try to sell me coach training. That is just lazy. But if someone sent me a compelling question about coaching, I might be inclined to respond. (Maybe not, because I just don’t spend enough time on social media, but I suspect that is generational.)

The other thing to think about is staying in close touch with anyone you do meet with whom you have some kind of connection. Send funny memes you think they might like, share book recommendations, or ask for their opinion on the latest Netflix series. Anything that makes sense. I interview high school kids who are applying to my alma mater and I am always a little surprised that none of them bother to stay in touch. They fail to realize that I might be able to make an introduction for them when they are looking for their first job.

A bit of a firehose, I know. But, I did say I loved the question, and I hope this gives you a place to start.

Let me know how it goes!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Boss Just Keeps Asking You to Do More and More? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 09 Jul 2022 10:42:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

A few years back, I started working for a boutique real estate investment trust (REIT) company. I was inadvertently so good at it that I was made a junior partner in two years. I relocated to California to open the West Coast office and my opening move was to land a massive deal. Now I am madly looking for a larger office space and hiring analysts and other staff, all while trying to manage the details of the deal.

I know next to nothing about renting office space and even less about hiring, but, like everything else, I seem to keep figuring things out. My boss (the CEO) thinks the world of me and is nothing but supportive.

The problem is that there is simply too much to do. I am really good at getting things done but the task list far exceeds the time I can devote to work. I have two small children and a great husband who has a less intense job and can manage without me—but I don’t see how I can keep up these 12- to 14-hour days.

Every time I turn around my boss is piling on more. In our last conversation, right after telling me he wants me to manage this year’s holiday party (I am good at that kind of thing but hate doing it), he said he thinks I should be in charge of our company culture. Our culture? I don’t even know what that means. But I do know I can’t possibly take on any more than I am already doing.

I am afraid to say no. I would hate to disappoint my boss, who clearly believes I can do anything. I have to figure out a way to deal with all of this.

Just Too Much

__________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Just Too Much,

Indeed, you do. You must figure it out. And you will. But first you are going to have to reshape your own self-concept. It seems that you pretty much can do anything, you just can’t do everything. All at once. Nobody can.

You are a poster child for an adage I think I coined: “The reward for doing great work is—more work!” It is true that if you want something done, give it to a busy person who gets things done. I have always had the (totally conscious) bias that moms with careers get more done in less time because they have to.

Your boss has become used to handing over things to you because he has ample evidence that you will get them handled. He will keep doing it until you tell him to stop. And, yes, that will probably be disappointing to him. So if you want to stop being a slave to your never-ending to-do list and start creating a life that doesn’t give you heart palpitations, the first thing you need to do is get used to disappointing people. Lots of people. For someone like you this is the hardest thing, but it is also the most necessary. I can’t promise that you will ever get fully comfortable with it, but I can promise that you can (and will) get better at it. Being the “get-it-done Golden Girl” has become a habit—one you can break as you develop new muscles.

Research shows that women tend to volunteer twice as much as men to do tasks that (1) are not in their job description and (2) will not increase their promotability or income. Here is an article that might interest you. It isn’t really a problem if you are able to do everything well that you need to do and you’re still having fun—if you love baking, by all means bring in the birthday cakes! But it is a problem if it diverts your focus from critical tasks, or if you are exhausted or resentful.

Ultimately, the way to really disappoint people is to make promises you can’t keep—so half the battle is managing expectations. In terms of revealing to your boss that you are an actual human being and not a task accomplishment cyborg, simply tell him you have reached your limit of what is possible.

Here is your step-by-step guide to properly managing expectations, including your own:

Make three lists:
- a. Things you are great at or really interested in and love to do that are part of your actual job. This is where you want to spend the bulk of your focus and time.
- b. Things you are great at but not that interested in or don’t love to do that are part of your actual job, or peripheral. These are things to delegate.
- c. Things you aren’t good at, are really bored by, or hate doing that are not even remotely connected to your job. These are things that don’t even register on the radar of very successful people (mostly men).
Next time someone—anyone—asks you to do something, see if it falls into the (a) category. If it doesn’t, the answer is “no.” (NOTE: you can do this retroactively for the holiday party and culture creation tasks.)
- “No, I can’t take that on right now.”
- “No, I am much too tied up with _________, _________, and __________.”
- “No, there must be someone else who can do that. I know Robert loves parties!”
- “No, I am terrible at planning events.”

If just saying straight up “no” is too hard, you can build up to it over time. Try starting with what the authors of The No Club: Putting a Stop to Women’s Dead-End Work call a “Modified Yes”:

“Is there someone else who might be able to lead that project? I will gladly contribute or consult.”
“Let me review your request and think about what the commitment would entail. May I think about it?”
“Maybe—let me review all of the other commitments I have and see if that will be possible.”
“I am interested and excited by the idea, but I would need to pass one of my other projects to someone else if I were to take it on.”

This is the only way you can stay focused on what matters most to you and make partner (if that is your goal). No one ever made partner by being a doormat, so stay focused on generating revenue and building up the West Coast office. Let other people—maybe people you hire—figure out the holiday party and, eventually, hiring. And certainly recommend that the company hire a professional HR person to manage the culture, which is a full-time job even for someone who really knows what they are doing. I am astonished at how many small companies do not invest in a Chief People Officer when people are, in fact, what will make or break any endeavor.

The first step is awareness, which you have. The next is to take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself who you want to be, what you really want, who you don’t want to be, and what you don’t want. And then begin to slowly manage your boss’s and everyone else’s expectations by signaling clearly what you will and will not do. As long as you are kind, clear, and respectful, it will lead to people respecting you. And you will find you are asked to do fewer things that do not require your special brand of brilliant.

You can choose to step up now or you can wait until you are suffering even more than you already are. Some people will only face the discomfort of change when the cost of not changing is so high that they have some kind of health crisis, they lose their sense of humor, or they find themselves actually failing at their job. I highly recommend not waiting—but it is, of course, up to you.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Don’t Have a Vision for Your Business Unit? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 11 Jun 2022 12:42:02 +0000

Hand holding virtual target board and arrow with bokeh background. Keeping and setup objectives and target for business investment concept.

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Dear Madeleine,

I am a senior leader who reports to an SVP. I lead a business unit for a region. I recently had a one-on-one with my boss—a rare thing—and she gave me some feedback I am grappling with.

My company recently started doing pulse surveys, so I thought she might want to talk about the scores from my business unit that made it seem people’s morale was low. I was right.

She said I was very good at processes and systems and she was pleased with my unit’s results. Then she told me she thought I needed to work on being more inspirational. She asked me what my vision is for my business unit and I had to admit, beyond hitting our numbers and deliverables, I don’t really have one. Then before I could get more detail, she was called away and that was that.

I don’t even know where to begin on how to create a vision—or what to do with it once I have it. Any insight would be useful.

Feeling Blind

_______________________________________________________________________

Dear Feeling Blind,

This is a very common predicament for people who are straddling senior management and executive management positions. You have been consistently promoted because you are great at setting up processes and systems, holding people accountable, and executing results. But until someone points out that you need to start developing your ability to inspire and motivate people, it just doesn’t occur to you. So here you are.

It’s okay; you can do this. It might be uncomfortable but getting good at it at this point in your leadership journey will serve you very well.

The first step is to remember a leader you had in the past who did inspiration and motivation well. Try to remember what that leader did that worked. You can also ask your SVP for her vision so that you have an example of what she means—but the fact that you are drawing a blank on this leads me to think your boss may not have a vision either. Or if she does, she hasn’t shared it or it is unremarkable.

For guidance, I turned to the book FULL STEAM AHEAD! Unleash the Power of Vision in Your Company and Your Life. Authors Ken Blanchard and Jesse Stoner define vision as “knowing who you are, where you are going, and what will guide your journey.”

Essentially, it means you are providing the why—the context and meaning of the work your people are doing. You are painting a compelling picture of a job well done that will Be motivating for your team.

People often talk about creating a vision—but I would argue that you probably have one already. It’s clear that you are super motivated, which is probably because you have a strong sense of what is possible and how the success of your team connects to the success of the organization. So your job is to articulate those things as simply as possible. My experience is that many leaders think these ideas are obvious to others because they are obvious to them. And this is never the case. You have to spell it out, and then you have to repeat it like you are broken record.

Blanchard and Stoner lay out the elements of a Compelling Vision. The questions and comments below each element are mine:

It helps us understand what business we are really in.

You know what results you are after. But what will those results do the for the company? The world? What does your team do that no other team does? A great example is Disney, who we all know is in the theme park business but they say they are in the business of making memories.

It provides a picture of the desired future that we can actually see.

What is possible for your BU if you continue to do well? Maybe you could grow? Attract top talent? Be a role model for other BUs?

It provides guidelines that help us make daily decisions.

What values do you use to make decisions? Have you shared those? What behaviors do you expect from your people? Do they know?

It is enduring.

What makes your team great? What makes it special?

It is about being great, not just about beating the competition (or in your case, hitting the numbers.)

You and your team are doing a lot of the right things. What do you do? How do you do it? How can these things be replicated? How are you different from other teams or business units?

It is inspiring, which is not expressed solely in numbers.

A vision is different from a goal, which can usually be expressed in measurable terms.

It touches the heart and spirit of everyone.

It may feel too arrogant or touchy-feely to express possibility or highest ideals and use language that it isn’t brass tacks. This can be what makes it so uncomfortable for many. It took me twenty-two years to get the courage to include the word love in the vision for Blanchard Coaching Services.

It helps each person see how they can contribute.

More than ever before, employees are seeking meaning and connection. When people can see how what they do connects with the bigger picture, it makes their job much more compelling.

Once you have your answers to some of these questions, you are ready to get a draft vision down on paper. Don’t worry about getting it right the first time—just get it all down. Then revise, word craft, and keep at it until you have something simple. Short and sweet is much easier to remember.

You might want to follow your vision statement with a mission statement. The vision is what is possible, and the mission is why you do what you do, and for whom. A mission statement structure could look like this:

Our mission is to __________ (do something) for __________(what people?) so that __________(those people can have something, do something, and feel some way).

There is no reason you can’t involve your team at this point. Let them poke at it and provide further input.

Then share it. With everyone. Start meetings by restating the vision. Ask people to print it out and put it over their desks. If you are all in the office, have posters made. In the rough and tumble of the workday, it is easy to lose sight of the vision. You should take any opportunity you can to remind your people what it is.

This will undoubtedly feel downright weird and risky to you. Feel free to share your discomfort with your people so you aren’t trying to pretend to be someone you aren’t or be good at something you are doing for the first time. You can also share that the whole exercise is a work in progress and that you are open to reworking it.

The key is to start. Examine what drives you, what makes what you do matter. Get all of your thoughts down on paper and then start shaping them. Take your time. Be prepared to have things sound hokey, or high minded, or farfetched. It will all come into focus.

I have no idea if this is what your boss meant. But I can promise that the work you do on this will not be wasted time. It will give you new insight into your team and yourself as a leader—and it almost certainly will be inspirational.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Direct Report Got Defensive When You Offered Feedback? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 12:42:15 +0000

view of a man showing his hand hiding his face

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Dear Madeleine,

I manage a team that has been working together for a long time, although one person recently left. Her replacement is a new high performer who is settling nicely into the job. He has all the experience and skills we were looking for, but he hasn’t quite figured out our culture or the accepted communication norms in our organization.

When I give him feedback on his communications to make them more aligned with expectations, he gets really defensive. The last time I did this he said, “I do good work; I think you’re too picky.” I was taken aback and didn’t say anything, because nothing I could think of saying would have been appropriate. I am not used to an employee talking to me that way.

Ultimately, it is my job to give him feedback to help him be successful here, and I don’t think it is appropriate for him to make personal observations about me. I am not picky, really, but I know my boss and the executive team are. They have expectations about the way my team does things that they have made clear.

How do I approach this? I am not sure quite where to start.

Dealing with a Defensive Direct Report

_________________________________________________________________________

Dear Dealing with a Defensive Direct Report,

You are right on both counts: it is your job to give your people feedback so that they can be as successful as possible in their jobs, and it is not appropriate for anyone at work to make personal observations about you.

Shut. It. Down.

It is your job to swiftly and clearly put up the hand and make clear that you will not tolerate that kind of response in the future. If you don’t, your new team member will assume that what feels normal to him is okay with you.

You were wise not to get defensive right back. (I can’t believe you didn’t say “excuse me?”) You are obviously thoughtful and have good self-regulation.

Now leverage that thoughtfulness to prepare for a conversation with your direct report. Think through the messages you want to get across. Choose the most important points and start with them. In your case, it might look something like this:

My job is to give you feedback so that you can be as successful as possible in your job. I need to be able to offer you the guidance you need to be successful without being worried that you are going to get defensive and make personal observations about me.
If you are not willing to take feedback and use it, we may have a problem.
You are certainly allowed to disagree with me, but you must treat me with respect.
Of course you do good work—if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be working here. But there is a difference between my giving you feedback on details and my giving you a wholesale critique of your work in general.
The feedback I give you is directly related to the expectations and standards of my boss and the executive team. Yes, I am picky around things that I know others in the organization are picky about.
Our team’s purpose is internal customer service, and it is important that we all use a consistent approach with all of our communications.

I am sure I got some details wrong in these examples; suffice to say the more to the point and succinct you can be, the easier it will be for you to get through the feedback and for him to understand it. It might also be a good idea to write it all out and send him the summary in an email, so you begin a record of the interactions.

If it turns out that your direct report refuses to use feedback to meet expectations and continues his defensiveness and hostility, you will want a clear trail of evidence. No matter how good someone’s work is, there is no reason to tolerate disrespect.

You could take another approach entirely, of course, and go in with questions to get to the bottom of the defensiveness and possibly get insight into what is prompting the behavior.

Questions:

How might I frame feedback for you in a way that makes it easier for you to accept?
Clearly it is important to you to do good work; how can I help you to make sure it is exceptional?
Help me understand what makes you think I am too picky.

But on second thought, no. I think the questions might be the continuation of point #2:

If you are not willing to take feedback and use it, we may have a problem. We can talk about what I can do differently to make that easier for you.

I really think the first order of business is to be unequivocally clear about what is and what is not okay with you. You are the boss and no one else can do it for you. If you don’t do it now, your new DDR will just keep pushing you around until you have no influence over the quality of his work. And you will have allowed it to happen.

Harsh? Probably. There are very few things we have control over in life, but this situation is one of them.

Good luck.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Trouble Hiring and Retaining Employees? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 28 May 2022 10:45:00 +0000

Businesswoman standing alone at cubicle in empty office

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Dear Madeleine,

I manage a massive sales function for a software company. I am so exhausted from all my people quitting! What is going on? At the end of the Q1, FOUR of my managers quit. And a month ago, my right-hand person, who followed me from our last company, submitted her resignation. At least she gave me a month to replace her and train someone new.

We always expect a little attrition at vesting periods, but I have never seen anything like this. It isn’t like our quotas are going to change, so everyone else is overburdened. The regional VPs can’t keep up with onboarding and training all of the new hires. Our recruiters are bringing us fewer viable candidates and the viable ones are demanding starting salaries that are more than what I make! I’ve been doing this a long time but have never felt so exposed.

I don’t know what to do. I just feel—

Panicked

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Panicked,

I am hearing the same thing from my clients and we have experienced the same thing in our company. One client recently reported that a candidate for an executive assistant position demanded $300K as a starting salary. He literally did a spit take at that. That is an extreme example of how people are aiming high and also illustrates the point that unemployment is at an all-time low.

What is going on? Well, the collective wisdom is that the world grinding to a halt, the fear of imminent death during the height of the pandemic, and the massive changes in the workplace have sparked a collective re-evaluation of how we all spend our time and resources.

People are asking themselves:

What is really important to me—and does what I am doing right now reflect those things?
What are my long-term goals—and am I going to be able to achieve them where I am now?
Do I really love my job? Or have I let myself get complacent?

And why wouldn’t people ask these things, given all that we have been through? There is nothing like a deadly virus that makes a trip to the grocery store feel like a commando maneuver—or, far worse, losing a loved one—to starkly accentuate the reality that we only get one shot at this life so we’d better make the most of it. Seen in that light, the phenomenon you are currently struggling with does make sense.

What can you do? As a senior leader, a lot. The first step is to actively strive to re-engage your people. Find out what makes them tick and show them you care. You can get more detail on how to do that in this wonderful article: 8 Keys to Re-engaging a Fatigued Workforce.

Another idea is to task all of your VPs with having stay conversations. A review of exit interviews conducted before the pandemic revealed that a common answer to the question “Why are you leaving?” is “Nobody asked me to stay.” If employees don’t see and hear evidence that their boss and their company value them and want them to stay with the organization, they will assume their leaving won’t be a problem for anyone. This is just human nature: in the absence of information, people will make things up. The antidote is to have bosses literally ask their employees to stay and ask for insight into what will make that likely.

Our own research on employee work passion shows that people are as motivated by meaningful work, appreciation, and connectedness to colleagues and the organization as they are by money. So you can:

help your people understand the value and meaning of their work,
make sure they feel seen and heard as actual humans, and
actively build ways for them to feel more connected to each other and the company.

More detail on stay conversations can be found here.

In terms of attracting viable candidates, again, money is not the only thing that matters. Make sure your recruiters are emphasizing every potential benefit of joining your company—flexible WFH options, career paths, the quality of your leadership—anything you can think of that makes your company special.

Action is the best antidote for the kind of anxiety you have. You can get the ball rolling by having stay conversations with your VPs to demonstrate what a good job looks like. Start today. No time to lose.

So, take a deep breath, make your plan, and get going. It will make a difference. I promise.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Hungry for Constructive Feedback? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 14 May 2022 10:45:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I get no feedback.

I like my job, my boss, the team I work with, and my company. At every annual review I write my own review first and my manager adds her two cents, always pointing out ways I contribute that I hadn’t thought about or had forgotten. So I do get feedback, and it is always positive, which is nice.

I realize this sounds crazy, but I want more constructive feedback so I can grow and get better. I guess I want to be more challenged.

How can I go about getting more feedback without seeming dissatisfied?

Wanting More

__________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Wanting More,

You don’t sound crazy. You sound lucky. Let’s all take a moment to appreciate your position, because it is a rare one: Your boss obviously thinks you are great and is totally happy with the job you are doing.

And—I get it. It sounds like you might be a little bored.

I think your first stop is your boss. Tell her you are looking for a challenge and you either want to get better at the job you are doing or maybe take on something new. You can be crystal clear that you aren’t unhappy or dissatisfied, just wanting to shake things up a little. The ideal time for this is at your annual review; but if that seems too far away, you can ask for a meeting. I am surprised your manager hasn’t checked in with you about your dreams, your job satisfaction, your career aspirations.

Another thought is to ask your colleagues, teammates, and internal and (if applicable) external customers for feedback to see if there is anything you could do that would make working with you easier. You could simply ask:

Is there anything you wish I would start or stop doing?
Is there anything you wish I did more or less of?
Is there anything you think I should know that could make me more effective or help me add more value?

You never know what you might find out.

I guess it is always possible that there is something you do that stops people from offering suggestions or developmental feedback. Is it possible that in the past you have become defensive? Only you can know the answer to that, and it will serve you to admit the truth to yourself. If you think this might be the case, make sure you go into asking for feedback with an open mind. It takes some grace to accept feedback that might be a surprise or feel personal.

Prepare to respond to anything you hear with one of three options:

Thank you.
I understand.
Tell me more.

This will ensure that people who have the courage to tell you something they think you need to hear will feel heard and won’t feel punished for going out on a limb.

There is also a big difference between seeking/hearing feedback and making a decision to actually do something with it. One way of rewarding people for giving you feedback is to loop back with them and let them know what you are doing with their advice. If you choose not to do anything, you can just tuck it away for future reference.

Remember also that feedback always says more about the person giving it than the person getting it. So write everything down. Give yourself some space and time to absorb, process, and decide what is going to make a difference to your success and what isn’t. Resolve to take nothing personally.

You might be opening a can of worms here, so you will want to be prepared for that. Or maybe you are like Mary Poppins—“practically perfect in every way”—wouldn’t that be grand? If that is the case, your next step will be to figure out if you are, in fact, bored and what goals you might set next to create your next challenge.

Thanks for asking such a surprising question.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Want to Exceed Expectations but Don’t Know How? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 30 Apr 2022 10:45:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I want to be a rock star at my job. I have always been driven and ambitious—but now, a few years into a professional job after college and grad school, I find myself a bit at sea. I work in a big company and I love what I do.

Here’s the problem. My boss checks “meets expectations” on all counts at my regular performance reviews. I want to get “exceeds expectations” on all counts, but I can’t get to the bottom of what that means. I see myself as getting to VP level quickly and having a shot at C-Level, but unless I can understand what that actually takes, I can’t make a plan.

Thoughts?

Want to Be a Rock Star

__________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Want to Be a Rock Star,

What a great question this is. I have often wondered the same thing, mainly because it seems like a mystery to everyone.

Ultimately, the only person whose opinion you really need on this topic is your boss’s. So first, I suggest you interview your boss and find out what “exceeds expectations” means to them. You don’t want to go out and do a bunch of extra stuff that’s not the right stuff or that causes static in their world.

I do think the reason this is such a mystery is because most bosses don’t know what their expectations actually are, let alone what it might mean for someone to exceed them. So don’t be surprised if asking your boss doesn’t shed much light—they may not know what “exceeds expectations” looks like until they see it.

Some questions to ask your boss might be:

Have you ever had a direct report who consistently exceeded expectations? If yes, what did they do that made them stand out?
Is there any way I don’t live up to your expectations? Have I ever failed to live up to expectations in the past and wasn’t told?
What exactly would it take for me to exceed expectations in these different areas?

I spent a week asking all of the senior executives I know what it means to them when a team member exceeds expectations. Here is a synthesis of what I heard:

Generally, an employee who exceeds expectations:

Shows up to 1×1’s prepared to discuss all tasks and goals with clear requests for direction, re-direction, ideas, requests for resources. They show respect for their manager’s time by having thought in advance about what they want or need.
Thinks things through—when they run into an obstacle, they troubleshoot and come up with ideas for possible solutions rather than just presenting the manager with a problem to solve.
Never complains, never makes excuses—if something isn’t working or they can’t complete a task, they surface the situation matter-of-factly and share ideas about what they might need to get back on track.
Does what they say they are going to do without being reminded.
Meets deadlines and doesn’t procrastinate. When a big, high-stakes project is approaching deadline, they get their work done as far as they can and present it to the manager and others for input and feedback with plenty of time to iterate and make changes so the final product is next level.
Submits work that has been proofed. They take the time to review their work for errors or inconsistencies. This doesn’t mean they never make mistakes, it means any errors they make are from lack of experience or knowledge, not from turning in sloppy work that was rushed through.
Pays attention to what is going on around them and connects the dots in the event it isn’t obvious.
Goes out of their way to support coworkers, spends time helping new people, volunteers for tasks that aren’t necessarily part of their job but that make a contribution to the team. For example, one person shared: “when our organization rolled out a new software system we all hated, one of my people spent time over the weekend watching tutorials on YouTube and then shared a bunch of tips, tricks, and shortcuts with the whole team at our next staff meeting. That was above and beyond. Everyone else, including me, just whined about how unintuitive the platform was. She made all of us pull up our socks and get on with it.”
Figures out where to go to get things done. They take the time to look at the organization around them, what people’s job roles are, and what matters to them. They go out of their way to create relationships with all types of people and make the effort to understand what they do. If they don’t know how to do something, they tap their network until they find someone who does.
This seems obvious, but they are always on time, always ready to work, always on camera, bright and shiny. It isn’t that they don’t have bad days. Everyone does. They just don’t let a bad day get in the way of getting the job done.

One person put it succinctly: “They have high attention to detail, and they get things done on time without fuss.” Anything you can do that will make your boss’s job easier is always a good idea—taking on extra projects, going the extra mile, submitting excellent work that doesn’t need extensive revisions.

Finally, keep careful track of what you do. There is always a good chance your boss will forget the times you went above and beyond. When the time comes, submit an accurate, detailed record of everything so your boss will have no choice but to give you the highest possible rating. Anytime a direct report does this, I am always a little astonished at everything they have done; especially when they are the kind of person who makes it look easy.

These ideas should get you on your way. In terms of your ambition to get to the very top, I will tell you that becoming an expert at anything you do will help. Be disciplined about never complaining or gossiping about people. Also, creating and nurturing a wide and deep network of diverse relationships will always help, never hurt.

Rock on, my dear. I have a feeling you will get where you want to go!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Managing Negativity at Work

Britney Cole — Tue, 26 Apr 2022 14:06:46 +0000

“Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lie our growth and our happiness.”

This is one of my favorite quotes, most often attributed to Viktor E. Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning. It holds an answer to managing negativity in the workplace. But first, I want to be clear about negative thoughts and emotions.

It’s okay to feel anger, worry, and sadness. It’s okay to be mad. It’s okay to get upset. We all experience a spectrum of feelings throughout the day. It’s normal. Besides, the more we squash negative emotions, the more they appear. But we can learn how to respond when we want to hold onto those negative emotions.

The first step is to acknowledge that we all feel big feelings, then feel compassion for yourself when you have them and, eventually, for others when they do.

Recognize Negative Tendencies

We all have natural negative tendencies and thought patterns. So don’t beat yourself up—or at least try not to. Recognize these leanings and attempt to catch yourself before you go into your habitual swirl of doom. You know what that looks like. You might be one of those who identify what’s wrong before you recognize what’s going well. Perhaps you like to vent—a lot. Or, if you are like me, you get defensive when you get feedback and see it as a criticism. These knee-jerk reactions can go completely unnoticed by us because they are ingrained habits and impulses—learned behaviors we acquired long before we were functioning adults.

The key is to acknowledge a feeling and then identify if your reaction to it will be helpful or unhelpful. We obviously don’t want to act out negatively or do something that’s hurtful. But sometimes our natural tendency does exactly that.

I’ll give you an example. Last week I was triggered by one of my colleagues who provided input on a strategy document I wrote. The comments, I felt, were not useful. Instead of dismissing them as a reflection of the person’s own issues, I was triggered and unleashed. I felt annoyed and wanted others to feel my irritation and validate my frustration. So I immediately texted and called a couple of my closest colleagues and complained. I distracted myself from the issue at hand and got wrapped up in a negative cycle of judgment and griping. And while my peers understood and empathized, I can only imagine that my rant did not put a positive spin on their day; perhaps it even impacted them later on. It was not an issue that I was triggered, but it was that I let it play out with my teammates and truly created a negative work environment. Not helpful and not fair—to myself, my peers, or that clueless colleague who was trying to give me some honest feedback.

Don’t Gossip

Here is a confession: I struggle with gossip. I want to follow the Golden Rule. If I hear someone speaking negatively about someone or something else, I don’t want to participate or share a juicy story of my own. But I usually do. I sympathize and likely continue enabling the rumor mill. Why? I also struggle with being direct, so gossip is an easier way for me to process my feelings. Great job, Brit, on being self-aware. But I need to take this a bit further.

Really, the better course of action is to either not participate or change the subject. Have more empathy and compassion for those who are at the center of the story. We are all just trying to do the best we can with the information we are presented with at the time.

Goodbye to Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity is as bad as gossiping. It can be used to gloss over any unpleasant truths in the workplace. Rarely are statements such as “it could be worse” or “don’t stress” or “look on the bright side” helpful to the individual who is having a bad day, for whatever justified or unjustified reason. Toxic positively feels a bit like gaslighting—as if the other person’s feelings don’t matter or aren’t appropriate.

As with gossip, the answer is empathy and compassion. How do you show empathy and compassion? Through listening with the intent to understand, validating those strong emotions, and offering support—even if it’s just an ear.

Flip the Negative Script

A very close friend of mine and I work together. We use a technique to manage negativity so we can help each other share strong feelings but also get some forward momentum. If this person calls wanting to air out grievances, I ask, “Do you want to talk to Work Britney or Friend Britney?” My response is different based on who this person wants to talk to. If it’s Work Britney, I’ll say something like, “Want to work out a solution together?” If she is looking for a friend, I’ll say, “Dude, that stinks. I’m here for you.”

You can use this technique with your people. Let them know you’re going to wear different hats based on their need. This way, you can either play the role of boss or lend a friendly ear. I’ve asked my leaders in the past to do this. It’s helped me be able to share my feelings and then make a plan–which often means being more direct with the object of my aggravation.

Find a Release Valve—A Healthy One

People call work a “pressure cooker” for good reason—we all need a release valve. But you need to find one that works for you. Maybe it’s journaling, or exercise, or yoga—whatever helps you process the big feelings. But watch out. Doom scrolling, gossip, toxic positivity, and other nefarious habits that cause more self-harm may seem to be effective release valves, but they clearly only perpetuate the negative cycle on yourself and others.

Set the Tone

Leaders have more influence than they realize. Just consider that a poor relationship with a leader is the top reason people leave a job. You can flip this dynamic on its head by asking people how they are doing, what problems they are facing, what’s their biggest challenge.

Just as important, you can set the tone for these conversations. Instead of focusing on the negative, you can ask people about their big wins in the past week. I recently asked my people what their best day at work was in the past six months. Smiles began appearing on every face. Their brains were working hard. Then they shared great stories—and the whole nature of the conversation changed.

You Be the Example

A leader’s job is to manage the energy in the workplace. If there is negativity everywhere, notice it, acknowledge your role in creating or perpetuating that environment, and make a conscious decision to do something different.

It’s an unrealistic attitude to think every day is going to be unicorns and rainbows. Just do your best to be more mindful of negative patterns. Craig Weber calls it “Catch It, Name It, Tame It.” Meanwhile, “Catch people doing things right,” as Ken Blanchard would say. Celebrate the small wins. Celebrate when things go well. And little by little, you’ll change the environment.

It all goes back to the Frankl quote. “Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lie our growth and our happiness.”

We have a choice. Do we want to bring people down or lift them up? Do we want to share the latest gossip or simply move on with our day? Negative emotions are shared by all of us, but a negative environment doesn’t have to be. We have the power to create more shared experiences that are positive. It’s about asserting our freedom and remembering that we have a choice in our response—and then choosing the path that leads to our growth and happiness.

Six Keys for Setting Team Priorities and Delegating

Jay Campbell — Thu, 21 Apr 2022 14:30:01 +0000

The business world is only going to keep moving faster, which is forcing leaders to become increasingly adept at managing their team’s priorities and delegating tasks. But that can be a tricky undertaking.

The way leaders manage their team’s priorities and delegate runs the spectrum. On one end are leaders who don’t know what their people are working on, can’t set priorities, and have delegated to the point of abdicating their responsibility. This style is obviously dysfunctional. On the other end are leaders who are doing the work of their employees, micromanaging them, and disempowering them. This style denies people the chance to learn and grow on the job. It makes employees dependent on their managers.

You want to be in the sweet spot when managing your team’s priorities and delegating, adjusting the direction and support each person needs in each case. That will balance performance with learning while helping your people develop and be successful. It’s a place where your people truly work as a team and you provide inspiring leadership.

Here are some tips for getting there.

Define Priorities and Goals

Defining goals and objectives with your people is the first step. This might sound obvious until you consider that only 50% of employees strongly agree that they understand what is expected of them at work.

A useful practice is to ask your people to listen to the goals you verbalize and restate them in their own words. It sounds simple, but there are many layers of interpretation, storage, recall, and reinterpretation that can change the meaning of even simple goals. How well can you expect someone to fulfill a goal if they don’t even start out on the same page as you?

Defining goals and objectives shouldn’t be done just at the start of a project. For most of us, goals will evolve along the way as new information becomes available. That means revisiting the goals regularly to keep people on track.

Collaboration is Key

Prioritization should be done collaboratively. Great managers treat their people as intellectual peers, discussing tricky choices with them and debating tradeoffs. This includes empowering them to make their own decisions. Even if people don’t have answers at the ready, they feel highly respected when their leaders treat them as equals.

The key is to make your people real partners when setting priorities. When you do this, you show you care what they think. This inspires them to be more invested in their work. These exchanges also give you an opportunity to emphasize timelines and stakeholder needs.

Delegation Depends on Follow-Up

Delegation isn’t a one-and-done affair. Assigning a job and not following up on the task isn’t a successful strategy. The better practice is for the leader to check in on the assignment and offer support when needed. Your goal is not to hover or micromanage but to show you are still aware and interested about the assignment. If your people know something is important to you, it will be more important to them.

Praise Regularly

Praising people when they do a good job is one of my favorite practices Ken teaches. It makes the receiver feel good, drives engagement, and brings a host of other benefits. It also plays an important part in delegation.

When you’ve delegated a big project, praising is a great way to sustain a person’s enthusiasm. Think of praising as a way of locking in the best behaviors of your staff to leverage in every future task they take on. You’ll help them be more successful in the future if you recognize praiseworthy behaviors now.

Delegation and Trust

As a leader, delegating a task requires a certain amount of trust on your part. You are trusting people to complete a project without much oversight. But what can you do when your trust level is moderate or variable?

It helps to view trust as an analog variable—ask yourself “how much can I trust them?” rather than “Do I trust them?”

For most tasks and projects, delegation doesn’t have to be a black or white request. For instance, if the project is to create a final report, you can ask people to complete tasks ranging from small (e.g., pull together some talking points) to medium (e.g., draft some slides) to large (e.g., deliver the final presentation on your own).

It’s also helpful to consider the stakes. Does this task have a high-risk profile? Are the consequences significant? If the stakes of a task are low, little trust is required to delegate. You might decide to hand the task off and make it a learning opportunity for the individual. If the stakes are high, you would more likely need to have considerable trust in the person and may want to check in regularly.

Leading from the Sweet Spot

Managing your team’s priorities and delegating work requires skilled leadership. If you do it well, you’ll empower your people with new skills and confidence. And you’ll have more time to work on other projects.

It might be challenging, but the rewards are worth it.

Are You a Trustworthy, Self-Aware Leader?

Ken Blanchard — Tue, 19 Apr 2022 12:25:38 +0000

In our new book Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways to Be a Servant Leader and Build Trust, my coauthor, Randy Conley, and I cover a lot of topics—fifty-two, to be exact. As the subtitle suggests, a primary focus of the book is the area of trust in leadership.

To be truly trustworthy, a leader must first possess a strong sense of self-awareness. Why? Because effective leadership starts on the inside. Before you can hope to lead anyone else, you must know yourself and what you need to be successful.

3D rendering blank book on white background.

Self-awareness gives you a special kind of perspective as a leader. When you are grounded in knowledge about yourself, you are mindful of the people, experiences, and values that have made you who you are as a person and as a leader. You are aware of your thoughts, feelings, temperament, and what motivates you. You know how your behavior affects others around you and how to model trusting servant leadership for your team.

Self awareness and trustworthiness go hand in hand. It’s all about leading at a higher level.

We found the best way to describe trustworthiness in leadership was to break it into four qualities leaders can use to define and discuss trust with their people. These four characteristics make up the ABCD Trust Model.

Leaders who are Able demonstrate competence. They know how to produce results and they have the leadership skills necessary to empower and encourage their people to get the job done.

Leaders who are Believable act with integrity. They are honest, fair, ethical, and treat their people with equity. Their values-driven behavior builds trust and creates an environment of psychological safety.

Leaders who are Connected demonstrate care for others. Their focus is on their people’s needs and development. They are good listeners who share information about themselves and seek feedback.

Leaders who are Dependable honor their commitments and keep their promises. They are accountable for their actions, responsive to others, organized, and consistent.

Along with the ABCD Trust Model, we developed an assessment leaders can use to gauge their own trustworthiness in all four areas. (Find the free assessment here.) Then, to help leaders gain even more self-awareness, we encourage them to have their team members fill out the same assessment to rate the leader’s trustworthiness. What a concept—leaders vulnerable enough to ask their people to assess them as a trustworthy leader!

I liked that idea so much, I asked my work team to fill out the trust assessment with me as the subject. When the responses were tallied, we learned that my ratings on the Able, Believable, and Connected behaviors were excellent! However, my ratings on the Dependable behaviors needed work. The reason? I’ve never heard an idea I didn’t like! In other words, I say “yes” too easily. Despite my good intentions to please people, I often found myself overcommitted—which put pressure on both my team and myself. The strategy we worked out to help my Dependable score was simple. My assistant at the time, Margery Allen, suggested that when I went on business trips and got in conversations with people, I should give them Margery’s business card instead of my own. That way she could screen callers and talk with me about what was realistic for me to say “yes” to. This process worked better for all of us and helped me become more Dependable. Looking back, I now see how that process also helped me with my self-awareness about my strengths and weaknesses in the area of trustworthiness.

It’s never a bad thing when you learn something new about yourself as a leader. You can take a tip from the One Minute Manager: If you find out you are doing something right, give yourself a One Minute Praising. And if you discover you are off track in an area (like I was on Dependable behaviors), give yourself a One Minute Redirect and get back on the right track.

The more self-aware you are, the better you will be able to serve, care for, and lead your people. When people believe their leader has their best interests at heart and is there to support them in achieving their goals, trust grows by leaps and bounds. Today more than ever, people long to follow a trustworthy leader. When they find one, they will offer that leader 100 percent of their energy and engagement. And when a leader has the trust of their team, all things are possible.

Make Career Conversations a Regular Agenda Item in One-on-Ones

Kristin Brookins Costello — Thu, 14 Apr 2022 13:28:07 +0000

Businesswoman in discussion with coworker at office workstation

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Why would anyone want to be a career builder when they risk losing the people they develop?

It’s a provocative question many leaders answer by not developing their people. But this strategy doesn’t work—because people who aren’t nurtured by their leaders end up leaving anyway.

Career development is about the employee experience. It’s about the leader learning what’s important to the individual on a very personal level and discovering their strengths. It’s about understanding that people are happiest when they are growing and when they are respected for their skills and strengths.

When leaders recognize what’s personally important to the individual, the individual’s performance improves. Every employee wants to use their strengths through the course of the day. It feeds and energizes them. It helps them feel good about who they are and what they contribute.

The best leaders know putting in the time and effort to cultivate their people is always a smart investment. While they may end up losing someone in the end, they know they are gaining the loyalty of the person they are helping. And, in the process, they’ll earn the respect of all of their people.

Have Ongoing Conversations

Smart leaders partner with their people and have ongoing conversations about career development. This includes asking “Where do you want to be and how can I support you in that way?”

This shouldn’t be just a single conversation. It should be a living, breathing dialogue. Leaders should constantly be checking in with their people. When possible, they should partner with HR to create a potential pathway and provide necessary resources such as classes or certification.

Career development doesn’t have to mean leaving for another job. A leader seeking growth can become a mentee of an executive in another department or they can mentor someone who’s more junior.

The right course of action is to give an individual the space and resources to grow and learn more about themselves. The goal is to place a priority on the person, not just have them accomplish tasks. And if there isn’t room for the person to thrive, help them find the next step in their professional development.

Dealing with Doubts

Many leaders find career development conversations intimidating because it’s outside of their day-to-day duties. There’s also fear of the unknown. Leaders wonder if they are opening a Pandora’s Box. An employee could go through a career development journey and decide their current job isn’t for them.

The best way to handle this is to have ongoing conversations monthly, or at least quarterly. Your job as a leader is to make sure there is time on the meeting agenda where you can ask questions such as:

How are you doing?
Where are you in your career journey?
How can I help you?

Making this conversation a standing agenda item normalizes it, which can help eliminate discomfort. Anxiety dissipates because the topic becomes a familiar one. The individual becomes excited and feels like their leader truly respects and trusts them. They come to a place of understanding and clarity. All a leader needs to do is operationalize whatever decision the person reaches—be it staying or leaving for another opportunity.

Happy Employees Are Productive Employees

One effective technique is to list all of an employee’s strengths and create a plan that aligns with their goals. This is powerful because it produces both short-term and long-term results. People get to use their strengths on a regular basis, which translates into happy and productive employees. As for the long term, people who do what they love can make a tremendous difference when leaders assign them to mission-critical tasks. This is one way a company can achieve its strategic goals.

When there’s a mismatch between a person’s strengths and their job duties, they experience little joy at work and the company doesn’t get their best effort. Productivity issues can arise. It’s a lose-lose situation. Making sure a person’s strengths and tasks are aligned can eliminate this problem.

Create Milestones

Effective leaders create milestones that help people reach their career development goals. When you track their progress, individuals feel like they are part of a formalized process.

Creating milestones is an important way to operationalize career development. The individual has a yardstick to measure their growth. The leader shows they want to create a real partnership.

The Gift of Career Development

When you look back at your life, you undoubtably have fond memories of the people who believed in you, encouraged you to cultivate your talents, and put your interests before theirs. They made a lasting impression on you and helped you become the person you are.

Career development is your opportunity to be a mentor who changes someone’s life for the better. What more could a leader want?

Boss Wants You to Tell People They Have to Come Back to the Office? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 09 Apr 2022 10:48:02 +0000

Indian businesswoman explaining her situation to her coworker

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Dear Madeleine,

I run a large team for a media company. The CEO has a lot of strengths but is inconsistent and often irrational. My team is constantly on the hook to respond to endless PR issues, so we never quite know what is coming at us.

Before Covid we all came to the office early and stayed late—it was just a given. My job is global, so it is literally 24/7. Now the CEO has told his management team he wants everyone back in the office, but he won’t make it company policy because he is afraid people will quit en masse. Instead, he has tasked his management team with lowering the boom and insisting that people come back to the office.

My team members and I managed remotely through Covid. I think we are far more effective in person, but none of them have an interest in coming back to the office. In fact, they seem emboldened with their newfound freedom to the degree that they are now telling me what hours they will be working.

It would be so much easier for me if the company would just create a back-to-office policy instead of forcing all the managers to be the bad guys.

How should I approach this?

Hate Being the Heavy

_________________________________________________________________________

Dear Hate Being the Heavy,

It is so easy to blame upper management for things people don’t like. I understand your resenting being left holding the bag on this issue; however, I think the opportunity here is to create a hybrid environment that works for everyone on your team. If your senior team won’t insist that everyone come into the office every day, you don’t have to either. You can’t be held accountable for something your senior team refuses to say out loud.

What was it, do you think, that made you more effective pre-Covid? It’s true that when working remotely you lose the opportunity for quick after-meeting chats and catch-ups in the hallway—so think about how you might build those into your remote day schedules.

It is not appropriate for your employees to inform you what their working hours will be—but it does make sense for you to speak with each team member to get insight into what would work best for them. You can be clear that you are gathering intel to make the best possible plan and you can’t promise your final plan will suit every individual perfectly. As long as your people feel heard and understood, and they trust you to use your best judgment, you should be okay.

Once you have heard from everyone, you can create a plan for your team. Maybe everyone comes in the same two days every week, each person can choose which day will be their third day, and everyone WFH on Fridays. Do whatever you think will work best.

You can make almost anything work if you follow these tips:

Have at least one all-hands meeting in person per week. Maybe include a lunch to sweeten the deal. Use lunch time as an opportunity to socialize, letting people catch up on personal news.
Make sure everyone is crystal clear about deliverables and deadlines. Provide ways for people to keep you up to speed on what they are working on. Anything you can do using technology to increase visibility into workflow will increase trust and communication.
Create some rules about communicating and being available on chat during working hours.
Have a dedicated office hours time each day where you can be free for a quick check-in with whoever might need one.
Have team members choose one day a week to be on call, since part of the job is crisis management at all hours.
Send the message that “showing up” can mean either in person or virtually—but showing up is an expectation.

Once people have a taste of the freedom that comes with remote work, it is hard to go back. In fact, I suspect there is no going back to the way things were. But this is an opportunity for you to get input and create something new that will afford some of the freedoms your people have become accustomed to even as you insist on some new norms.

A lot of leading indicators point to what we are going through as not so much The Great Resignation as The Great Switcheroo. People are taking advantage of the opportunity to move to jobs that are more aligned with their passions and values, with the kind of flexibility they have become accustomed to. So the more you can include your people in the design of your new work structure, the more successful you will be.

Do your research and then be bold and clear. You are the boss of your team, even if some of your team members may have forgotten.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Leading with Empathy

Randy Conley — Thu, 07 Apr 2022 10:45:00 +0000

Counseling and conversation in group therapy or meeting. Man sharing story to community. Casual business people in discussion. Peer support, trust and empathy. Treatment together in help center.

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People want an empathetic leader. Many managers strive to be one. But ask someone to define the term, and you’re likely to be met with silence.

Let’s start with the definition. According to Merriam-Webster, empathy means “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.”

The logical question is: why is being empathetic an important quality of a leader? It seems to have nothing in common with achieving tasks or succeeding in the workplace.

The importance of being an empathetic leader starts with the simple truth that leadership is about people. If you’re going to lead effectively, you must be attuned to your people’s thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. This translates into creating real partnerships rather than exerting power. It means walking alongside your team members and guiding them in the direction you need them to go.

Why Empathetic Leaders Are Needed Now

The topic of empathetic leadership has been getting a lot of press lately, mostly due to the adverse effects of the pandemic. COVID has bruised people in many ways: losing a loved one, losing a job, pay cuts, health problems, and on and on.

People are reevaluating their relationship with work in the wake of the pandemic. Some are deciding life’s too short to leave their spirit at the door and endure long workdays just to bring home a paycheck. They want an environment that nourishes them in a profound way.

The Empathy Deficit

Forbes says empathy is the most important leadership skill, but only 40% of people rate their leaders as being empathetic. It’s tricky to single out one skill as being the most important—anyone can argue that other skills deserve top billing. That qualifier aside, this statistic reveals a huge disconnect between what people want and what their leaders are providing.

But leading with empathy isn’t easy. If empathetic leadership were part of a college curriculum, it would be a 200-level class. It presumes that people have all the basics down—and many leaders don’t.

Leaders are often promoted to their roles based on their success as an individual contributor. But being a first-time manager requires a whole new set of skills—for example, emotional intelligence—that are more important than technical expertise. Many managers either haven’t had the opportunity to develop these skills, are resistant to doing so, or don’t have an interest in them.

When you add up all these reasons, it’s easy to see why we have an empathy deficit among leaders and their people.

Know Thyself

Becoming an empathetic leader starts with having excellent self-awareness. This requires doing inner work on understanding your motivators, your temperament, and your personality style. It also includes knowing your communication style, your reaction to feedback, and how your values shape your behavior.

The first step in your journey is investing in your own development. Once you are more self-aware, you can begin to adjust your leadership style to the needs of your people.

Senior executives play a pivotal role in this. They must put organizational resources behind self-awareness initiatives to show they are serious about developing empathetic leaders. Investing in training is an example. Just as important, they need to model the behaviors they want the organization’s leaders to demonstrate. They also should have caring conversations with managers who don’t appear to be growing into empathetic leaders.

Understand Others

The second part of empathetic leadership is striving for a good understanding of your team members. This includes improving your communication skills, such as being curious in conversations instead of being defensive or aggressive. It also includes learning how to eliminate fear in your interactions with your people—trust cannot survive if there is fear in a relationship.

Building trust with your people is essential if you’re to be an empathetic leader. They must know you are on their side and you mean them no harm. You must show them your role as a leader is to help them succeed. The better you understand your people, the better you’ll be able to serve them in a meaningful way.

Be Helpful

Finding practical ways to serve others is a concrete example of empathetic leadership. Our Self Leadership course teaches five points of power you can use to help your people succeed:

Position Power: Having the title or authority to make certain decisions
Task Power: Having control over a task or particular job
Personal Power: Having interpersonal and leadership skills, passion, inspiration, or a personal vision of the future
Relationship Power: Being connected or friendly with other people who have power
Knowledge Power: Having relevant experience, expertise, or credentials

Empathetic leaders use these points of power to build up their people, help them feel safe and secure, and increase their confidence. When leaders do this, their people know they care about them. This opens many doors of possibility.

Be Compassionate

Empathetic leaders are compassionate and extend grace to others. They know how to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. But remember: organizations have goals that must be accomplished. Leaders must balance compassion with clear expectations that are understood by every team member.

Leaders who are empathetic place great importance on creating psychological safety—an environment where a person feels free to speak their mind, take risks, and admit mistakes without fear of being punished or reprimanded.

Empathetic leaders also balance great relationships with great results. Ken Blanchard and I share how to navigate this tricky intersection in our new book, Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways to Be a Servant Leader and Build Trust.

Simple Truth #1 in our book is “Servant leadership is the best way to achieve both great results and great relationships.” Many people have an either/or mindset when it comes to leadership—they focus on either achieving results or developing relationships. You can get both if you set a clear vision and direction for your people, then work side by side serving them in ways that help them accomplish their goals.

Set Boundaries

Empathetic leaders know how to set clear boundaries that benefit everyone, such as letting people know how many hours a day they’re supposed to work or that sending late-night emails is inappropriate.

When everyone has clarity on work boundaries—including rules and expectations—there is tremendous safety and freedom. Boundaries create a guardrail so people don’t unduly sacrifice themselves to accomplish something. Boundaries also promote autonomy. They let people know what they can and can’t do.

An Empathetic Leader in Action

Seeing an empathetic leader in action turns philosophy into concrete reality. Try to imagine yourself as an empathetic leader who practices the following behaviors on a daily basis.

An empathetic leader:

Asks rather than tells
Listens rather than speaks
Serves rather than commands
Cares about people’s concerns
Is receptive to feedback
Doesn’t overact to people’s questions or concerns
Doesn’t interpret concerns as resistance

When you demonstrate these behaviors, your people will be loyal to you. They’ll be engaged. They’ll give their best effort. They’ll be more innovative. And they’ll speak highly about your organization to their friends and colleagues.

Call to Action

At its core, empathetic leadership is about being an others-focused leader. It’s about leaders being in tune with the needs of their people and responding in tangible ways that demonstrate their care and concern. And how do people respond when their leaders act this way? They pledge their loyalty, trust, and commitment to that leader, which results in greater productivity, innovation, and creativity. Who wouldn’t want that?

Workplace Resilience: Helping a Teammate in Need

Melaina Spitzer — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 12:35:14 +0000

Our mental health has deteriorated during the pandemic, demanding the attention of leaders and businesses.

Under normal circumstances, one in ten adults in the U.S. have symptoms of depression or anxiety. That number has jumped to four in ten during the pandemic—and that might be conservative. Our data show much higher numbers. In our research surveying over 1,900 people across the globe, more than 60% of respondents reported symptoms of anxiety during the pandemic.

The trouble is, emotions can be contagious. If someone is sad or anxious, we’re likely to catch the feeling and pass it on to others. That’s because our autonomic nervous system—which controls whether we are alert, anxious, or calm—interacts with the same systems in others around us. If you’re close with someone, you may experience a sort of empathic matching, where you automatically pick up on and mimic their emotional state. How sensitive you are to this is often determined by your childhood experiences and the mother-child bond. Consider the above statistics in the context of emotional contagion, and it is easy to conclude that we all have experienced a traumatic event and are experiencing collective grief.

Considering what is happening in the world right now, there’s a good chance that someone on your team is struggling. Here’s how you can help them.

Spot the Warning Signs

If you’ve ever had a mental health challenge or experienced burnout, you’re likely more attuned to the warning signs. People seem more anxious, frustrated, and angry. They may look sad. Or be quiet at work. Or be unable to focus. Or send emails far outside normal business hours.

I remember when one of my managers, someone I cared for very much, sent me an email at 2:00 a.m. I reached out to him to find out if everything was okay. I’ll stop my story here, but the point is that a caring relationship between leaders and their people is mutual. No one wants to feel isolated, regardless of their seniority or place in the food chain. And it can be very isolating to be a leader with a lot of responsibility during a difficult time.

According to Jennifer Moss, author of The Burnout Epidemic, warning signs that someone is experiencing chronic stress and mental illness typically fall into four categories:

Changes in work habits such as lack of motivation, errors, difficulty concentrating, or lower productivity
Behavior changes including mood volatility, worry, irritability, or restlessness
Increased absences from work from someone who is normally punctual
Recurring complaints of physical symptoms such as fatigue, headache, abdominal distress, or weight change

Look for the Root Cause

If your employees are experiencing burnout, chances are it’s not their fault. In fact, it may be time to take a hard look at your organization’s culture, practices, and expectations to see if they unintentionally might be adding fuel the fire. The results of this inquiry may humble you.

According to the Maslach Burnout Inventory (MBI), there are six primary causes of burnout:

Workload
Perceived lack of control
Lack of reward or recognition
Poor relationships
Lack of fairness
Values mismatch

How does your company fare in each of these categories? Which of these deficiencies could be affecting your team members? Once you have identified them, determine areas for growth or change. Then take responsibility as a leader and see what you can do to move the needle toward a healthier work environment.

Be a Role Model

One of the first things you can do as a leader is to model behaviors you want your people to adopt. We naturally imitate those in power. You can take advantage of your widespread influence by taking care of yourself and sharing this with your people. By doing this, you give them permission to care for themselves. And that is a wonderful gift.

Be Empathetic

The pandemic has taken a toll on everyone. We have lost loved ones, jobs, income, a sense of community, freedoms, hobbies that gave us joy, and on and on. The list is long and significant. Everyone is hurting to some degree.

Being empathetic at a time like this is powerful. Show genuine concern and forget about achieving an outcome. If someone chooses to share, remember they are bearing their soul and speaking from a place of vulnerability. It’s always essential to treat people with respect, but especially at these moments.

What can you do as a leader? Create safe spaces for your people. Let them know that you’ll keep their confidence and they will always have your respect. We conduct well-being conversations in our Building Resilience program. When people return from their breakout groups, they always say how good it felt to share. They also say it was uplifting to listen and be of service. You can be of great help just by listening.

Create a Safe Environment

People need to feel safe before they will share. That means creating a judgment-free environment. You can do this by first sharing how you are feeling in a team meeting. Your courageous leadership will create a path that others know they can then follow.

You may also want to consider these tips for verbal and non-verbal communication from the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health when initiating conversations around mental health and well-being:

VERBAL TIPS

Speak calmly, quietly, and confidently.
Be aware of how you are delivering your words.
Focus your attention on the other person to let them know you are interested in what they have to say.
Use common words. Do not use official language, jargon, or complex terminology.
Listen carefully. Do not interrupt with unsolicited advice or criticism.

NONVERBAL TIPS

Use calm body language. Have a relaxed posture with unclenched hands and an attentive expression.
Position yourself at a right angle to the person, rather than directly in front of them.
Give the person enough physical space. This distance varies by culture, but normally two to four feet is considered an adequate distance.
Get on the person’s physical level. If they are seated, try sitting, kneeling, or bending rather than standing over them.
Pay attention to the person. Do not do anything else at the same time, such as answer phone calls or read e-mails.

Some people may be reluctant to share. My inspiring colleague John Hester has created a list of questions to help get the conversation started. Use these when checking in with someone who looks like they may be struggling.

How are things going for you?
How is your family?
How are you feeling?
What are you excited about?
What concerns you?
How is your connection to the team?
What do you need more of or less of?
How can I help?

Whether it’s children, spouses, or parents, everyone has family members they care about and love. Having loved ones is a common denominator that allows you to connect with your people. For example, if you were to ask me how I’m doing, I’d tell you that I’m struggling because my grandfather passed away. I have to process my grief while also supporting my mother, who is mourning the loss of her father.

One trust-building strategy is to start conversations with questions about the person’s family. Then, as they become more comfortable talking, ask them questions about how they are doing. By asking open-ended questions, the person may reveal something important. This also includes positive answers such as something they find inspiring.

Use the Right Style of Leadership

Effective leaders are situational—they provide the right amount of direction or support when a person needs it. Consider the alternatives: micromanaging (which destroys engagement) or hands-off management (which destroys morale).

SLII® is an easy-to-understand, practical framework that enables your managers to diagnose the development level of an employee for a task: D1—Enthusiastic Beginner; D2—Disillusioned Learner; D3—Capable, but Cautious, Contributor; and D4—Self-Reliant Achiever. Managers then use the appropriate directive and supportive behaviors to help them succeed: S1—Directing; S2—Coaching; S3—Supporting; and S4—Delegating.

My students in the Master’s in Executive Leadership program at the University of San Diego come to me elated when they’re able to get on the same page with their people and build a meaningful connection by applying the matching leadership style. Not only does their job as a leader become easier, but their people feel heard and supported, which leads to better engagement, productivity, and progress for the organization.

A good default position is to ask “How can I help?” Such a sincere question will always win the goodwill of the listener.

Leadership in the New Normal

The pandemic has changed us all in some way. We are different as individuals and as a society. We cannot and will not return to old models.

Prevention is better than cure for any well-being challenge—and especially burnout. It is much easier to recognize the warning signs of burnout and take care of ourselves than to recover from it. The key is to build trust with your people and help them thrive again. And that day will come.

Seven Strategies for Creating an Environment of Psychological Safety

Randy Conley — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 12:33:07 +0000

There’s been a flood of articles lately about psychological safety—and for good reason. It is essential if people are to be engaged and productive. It is the foundation for a dynamic, vibrant workplace. And it is woefully missing at most companies.

Psychological safety happens in a workplace when people feel free to speak their mind, take a risk, or admit to mistakes without fear of being punished. The pandemic has made it a hot topic. Many people have felt psychologically battered and bruised over the last couple of years. They’re raw and they need a work environment where they feel safe.

The Great Trust Experiment

The pandemic has been a great trust experiment. Literally overnight, organizations were forced to extend massive amounts of trust to their people by letting them work from home.

We all know what happened. By and large, remote work has been a great success. Many employees have proven more productive than they had been in the workplace. This has shined a spotlight on how relatively unproductive things had been prior to the March 2020 shutdown.

Post-Pandemic Psychological Safety

Sometimes you don’t realize you’re missing something until right after you get a taste of it. In the last two years, many people have developed a taste for freedom and autonomy. Companies trusted them to work from home—without supervision—and to bring their brains to work. Now that offices are slowly reopening, these people, understandably, don’t want to return. They don’t want to go back to the way things were.

What’s the lesson here? People experienced a world where the boss was no longer a few steps down the hall, checking in to make sure they’re doing their work—and they liked it. The Great Trust Experiment showed people the importance of psychological safety.

The thought of returning to a psychologically unsafe environment has many people on edge. Considering that about three out of four people don’t feel psychologically safe at work, every leader should be asking “How do I create a psychologically safe environment?”

Seven Keys to a Psychologically Safe Workplace

Ken Blanchard and I share ways to create a psychologically safe environment in our new book, Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways to Be a Servant Leader and Build Trust. Here are a few choice strategies you can use to create the culture you want in your workplace.

Eliminate fear: Fear is the enemy of trust. Lack of trust destroys psychological safety. People flourish in a safe and trusting environment.

People must know there won’t be repercussions if they share ideas or their perceptions of the truth or if they make a mistake. Your job as a leader is to live this truth.

Praise often: Unfortunately, we are hardwired to focus on the negative—so much so that it takes five praisings to counteract one criticism. For example, our natural inclination is to interpret emails in the worst possible light. The takeaway for leaders is to praise your people often and keep your communications positive.

Share yourself: People tend to form one-dimensional caricatures of their leaders from short interactions. “So-and-so was short with me, which means they are uncaring in every situation.” You can overcome this mental kink by helping your people understand that you are a multifaceted person, just like they are.

I’m not suggesting you share deeply personal information. It is, however, completely appropriate to talk about your values, what’s important to you, what motivates you, etc. Doing this builds trust with your people, which is essential for psychological safety.

Create clear boundaries: Everyone in the workplace must know what is and isn’t acceptable. Everyone must agree to abide by the same rules. No one should get a free pass because of position or seniority. Everyone must treat each other with respect and decency.

Keep a level playing field: People sometimes think a leader will rush to their defense in a moment of conflict. But if that happens, all the other team members will be fearful of making a mistake or stepping out of line. In a psychologically safe workplace, there are no favorites and there are no scapegoats.

Allow curiosity: At your workplace, do people feel secure enough to try new things, to explore unusual ideas, to express alternate views? Or do they hold back, afraid of possible negative consequences? When people feel fearful, their engagement plummets. But when you give them permission to be curious, you’re providing an open, safe space for them to experiment without fear of repercussion. When they make a mistake, reframe it as a learning opportunity.

Think about this from an employee’s perspective. Instead of bracing yourself for a tongue-lashing, you receive honest, encouraging feedback. How would that make you feel about your workplace?

Be clear about your expectations: Research shows that many people don’t know what’s expected of them. This is a recipe for mistakes and misunderstandings, which undermine psychological safety. You can circumvent all this with a simple activity: Have your people write down what they think their responsibilities are and you do the same. Then compare. Chances are you’ll be quite surprised by the differences between the two lists.

You can also use this tactic for aligning your people’s priorities with yours: Have them write down what they consider their most important tasks, and you do the same. Then compare notes and discuss. A little exercise like this can clear up lots of confusion.

There’s no magic bullet for creating an environment of psychological safety. It takes lots of intentional effort on the part of leaders and it takes time to build the bonds of trust. But the rewards are great.

Unleash the potential of your people. Help them feel comfortable returning to work. Turn the Great Resignation into the Great Renewal!

About the Author

Randy Conley is Vice President of Professional Services and Trust Practice Leader at The Ken Blanchard Companies. His award-winning blog, Leading with Trust, has influenced over 4 million viewers since its inception in 2012. His LeaderChat posts appear the fourth or last Thursday of every month. You can follow Randy on Twitter @RandyConley or connect with him on Linked-In.

Five Strategies to Strengthen and Leverage the Voice of Women Leaders

Vicki Halsey — Tue, 15 Mar 2022 10:45:00 +0000

It’s Women’s History Month—time to celebrate women’s accomplishments in the workplace! It’s essential to take a moment to recognize our contributions when you consider that in 2020 women still made just 84% of what men earned for the same job and were significantly underrepresented in leadership roles, according to Pew Research.

The argument about whether women can be great leaders is one that needs to be put to rest. Research has long shown that women excel in leadership roles. To empower women colleagues and to reassure anyone who may have an unconscious bias against women who apply for leadership positions, I share these findings:

Women leaders are rated as being more competent than men on 11 out of 12 dimensions of leadership, according to Forbes.
Women leaders score higher than men in 17 of 19 leadership competencies, according to Harvard Business Review.
And 33% of people who work for a female manager are engaged at work, compared to 27% who work for male managers, according to Gallup.

There’s more: Female managers are more likely than male managers to encourage employee development, check in frequently on their employees’ progress, have regular conversations about their performance, and praise their people. They are also better at collaborating and are perceived as being more empathetic and trustworthy. And they are significantly better listeners.

Perhaps Forbes best summed up the facts:

Having women in senior leadership roles also translates into greater profitability. A study by Credit Suisse found 25% of women in decision making roles had a 4% higher average return on investment—and companies with 50% of women in senior leadership had a 10% higher cash flow return on investment.

“With incontrovertible evidence like this, organizations not aggressively pursuing the cultivation of women executives are making the expressed, intentional choice to disregard evidence, severely undermining performance and compromising their organization’s potential.”

It’s crystal clear that your unique voice is needed to help people thrive! So, as a way of encouraging dynamic women such as yourself to climb the leadership ladder, my acronym WOMEN shares five strategies you can use to create the future of your dreams!

W = Ask WHO Questions

From my experience, successful women are fabulous at focusing on what they need to do, when they need to do it, and why they need to do it. Then they go out and get it done!

We’ve got the what, when, and why down. Now, as more women seek to move into leadership positions, we might want to focus on who. Here are some who questions you can ask to rocket your career to new heights!

Who can help me do this task?
Who can I delegate this to, so I can protect my time and build competence in others?
Who do I want to meet?
Who can I observe to see how the best and brightest do this task?
Who do I want on my personal board of directors?
Who can I endorse and build their confidence, so they are ready to step into a leadership position?
Who do I want as a mentor?
Who can I partner with who energizes me?
Who can I and other leaders champion to help them get more visibility?

O = Be OTHER-Focused

Great women leaders are other-focused while keeping their eye on their own work. If someone asks them for help, they are immediately of service. They think of that person and what is important to them, and ask themselves, “How can I best help them?” They never lose sight of what that person wants to accomplish, sending them articles and ideas, checking in on their progress, and being an accountability buddy to ensure the person is successful.

Other-focused women leaders know when to tell people how to do a task and when to ask someone to share how they think they would like to do a task. They know this because, just like a good doctor, they diagnose the task and the person’s demonstrated competence before responding. They are mindful of individual differences and communicate, recognize, and encourage people in a way that is meaningful to them.

M = Use MOMENTUM to Make Things Happen

Inspiring women leaders are energized by momentum. They are always seeking to do things better and faster, help the greatest number of people to succeed, and drive organizational vitality. They are always learning, reflecting on their actions, analyzing what they think would be best, and sharing their insights with others.

Momentum comes in many different forms such as speaking up in meetings. Here’s a helpful tip to ensure people listen to your ideas: Instead of giving your suggestions or recommendations in the form of a question such as “What if…” or “How about…,” be direct and say, “Here’s what I think we should do.” That way, people don’t think you are asking a question that drives their need to problem solve.

When you present your ideas, remember: if you hear no, it doesn’t necessarily mean no. No can mean lots of things such as “I’m hungry” or “I’m too busy today and don’t have the bandwidth to consider it.”

Here’s a funny anecdote that some of you may have experienced, between my very rational husband and me. We were driving home with the kids from a long hike, and everyone was hungry. My husband said, “Let’s go out to dinner!” Then he asked me, “Where would you like to go?” I said, “How about that new place?” He thought for a minute and said, “Nooo.” Then I said, “Well, how about the ABC restaurant?” And he thought for a few seconds and said, “Nooo.” And then I said, “I’ve got it! How about if we go to the place everybody loves, the XYZ restaurant?” And again, he said, “No I’m not really feeling that tonight.”

At this point, I thought to myself how come we never get to go where I want to go? So I decided to address that. I asked, “How come you never want to go where I want to go?” He said, “Well, you didn’t say where you wanted to go.” What’s the moral of that story? He was right. I just kept asking questions—and, being a rational guy, he just gave me his answers. Remember this when you’re pitching ideas in the boardroom. State your recommendation (like I should have): “Let’s get off at the next exit and go to Buca de Beppo.” Which I did, and we went, and it was delicious.

One last tip. If you have to say something that might upset someone, don’t start your sentence with “I’m sorry.” Say something like, “Thanks for taking the time to chat.” This expression of gratitude makes the listener more receptive to what you’re about to say.

E = Be Comfortable with EMOTIONS

Awesome women leaders realize that emotions should be acknowledged and embraced. Leveraging emotional intelligence is one of their superpowers.

When I was in my doctoral program, I read In a Different Voice by Carol Gilligan of Harvard. It was revolutionary for me. I did have a different voice—a woman’s voice. When I was a school administrator, colleagues would often tease me by saying, “Oh Vicki, you’re so sensitive! Do you always have to ask how this will impact the students (or teachers or parents)?” This often triggered a sense of shame and powerlessness that came from my childhood admonitions. When I was little, I was often told I was too emotional. If I got excited or upset, I would constantly hear negative comments from my parents that sent the message “People like you don’t make it in the real world!” In other words, they felt expressing emotions would hinder my success.

The truth is the opposite. Now, in a time when people are feeling so strongly about everything, the ability to be aware of and acknowledge your emotions and the emotions of others is the ultimate relationship builder. Creating a place where your people can release negative emotions and amplify positive ones is a special gift. It’s what makes women leaders such a tremendous benefit to an organization.

N = NURTURE Yourself and Others

Nurturing is a profound concept. It encompasses mindfulness, boundaries, and caring for ourselves and others. Fabulous women leaders realize that our bodies are the holding tanks for our brilliance. No bodies, no brilliance.

Because of this, women leaders protect their time, helping their people take brain breaks and look after their bodies. They run effective meetings so that people are energized, not drained. They stop every hour for a “mindfulness minute” to drink water, exercise for a minute, call someone, or praise someone. They know self-care renews their energy, their ability to be compassionate, and their ability to focus. And they know it’s much harder to be compassionate when you’re drained.

Last, women leaders watch their thoughts carefully. As Margie Blanchard, one of my favorite women leaders, says: “Don’t say it unless you want it!” They realize there is a profound connection between their thoughts, physiology, and outcomes. Since the brain stores information in images, which the body reacts to, they keep their minds filled with desired outcomes and a vision of what they want.

For example, if I say, “I’m exhausted,” what happens in my body? It wilts. But if I say, “I am so energized and excited to go into this meeting and learn something from everyone,” my body becomes energized.

Embrace Yourself. Embrace Success.

Women leaders: the world needs your unique point of view and your energy—for unleashing the power and potential of others!

Keep on leading. Keep on inspiring. Keep on challenging yourself to take even better care of yourself than you already are! Let others hear your powerful voice. Model for others the gifts of clarity, influence, and autonomy. And watch the world return it to you in abundance.

Creating a Culture of Accountability

John Hester — Thu, 10 Mar 2022 11:45:00 +0000

The hybrid/virtual work world presents many challenges for leaders. One of them is creating a culture of accountability.

Some leaders still think accountability equals “butts in seats.” But that outdated belief has become completely antiquated during the pandemic. People have proven they can succeed in a remote work environment.

Considering how quickly the workplace is evolving, creating a culture of accountability requires leaders to develop a new skill set. Here are things you can do to achieve this.

Psychological Safety is Essential

Accountability starts with psychological safety. People need to feel comfortable telling their leaders that they are struggling with an assignment without fear of being reprimanded. An atmosphere of trust is essential.

An environment that isn’t psychologically safe undermines a culture of accountability. If leaders don’t trust their people, they’ll micromanage them. If people don’t trust their leaders, they won’t share.

Leaders lay the groundwork for accountability by extending trust. This can be more difficult in a virtual environment where they may not be able to see someone’s body language. Then there are some leaders who are habitually cautious. They won’t trust their team members until their leaders demonstrate that they are trustworthy.

Considering our times, leaders must take extra steps to ensure their people feel psychologically safe.

Praise Often. Redirect Judiciously.

Accountability and engagement are interdependent. One way to create engagement is to praise your people when they do something well.

Most leaders believe they give their people plenty of praise. But research shows the opposite—people don’t think their leaders praise them enough. The ideal praise-to-criticism ratio is 5:1. We’ve evolved as a species to identify danger, so we are wired to dwell on the negative. When leaders criticize, it stings more than they might think. A generous amount of praise is needed to counteract this natural tendency.

How we give feedback should be even more nuanced. I recommend leaders use our SLII® leadership development model to determine what kind of praise will be most impactful.

When someone is new to a task and either an Enthusiastic Beginner or a Disillusioned Learner, it’s your job as a leader to recognize any progress the person is making. Celebrate progress. Praise them in front of the team. Confidence is a prerequisite for mastery, and by recognizing people’s victories you’ll help them develop the self-confidence needed to tackle even more difficult projects.

When someone has demonstratable skills and is either a Capable but Cautious Contributor or a Self-Reliant Achiever, giving them increasing autonomy will deepen accountability. The person has proven they can do the task and you want to recognize and reward their achievements. As they become more experienced, your job is to ask open-ended questions and listen to their responses. Be explicit about how proud you are that they have reached this level of expertise.

No matter who you are sharing feedback with, your mindset as a leader is critical. Never act in a way that can be interpreted as punitive or demeaning. Make sure your people know that your purpose is to help them win. This helps to maintain a culture of accountability.

SMART Goals Create Accountability

Everyone is more accountable when they have SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound). People need to know what is expected of them and SMART goals can keep them on track. You can help your people attain their goals by showing them what success looks like for a specific job. This is particularly critical when you’re not in a face-to-face setting.

Regular check-ins are also a part of helping people achieve their SMART goals. If you and your team members are in the same place, you should have one-on-one check-ins at least once every two weeks. If your team is virtual, check in with each person more often—at least once a week. People working in a virtual environment need this. It ensures alignment, prevents feelings of isolation, and creates accountability.

Know Your Digital Body Language

Our digital body language, which is revealed in all our communications, affects accountability. The words we use reveal our intentions, our attitudes, and our feelings. But we often don’t take enough time to make sure we are understood. In fact, emotions in emails are misunderstood a great deal of the time. We need to be much more intentional about what we say and how we say it.

Try to make sure your communications aren’t just transactional if you want to drive accountability. Every communication should have a human element to it to demonstrate that you care for your people.

Here’s a tip I learned from experience. Don’t ever send a text message or an email without reading it through several times. Ask yourself, “Am I clearly saying what I want to say? Am I sharing my position and the thinking behind that position?” Doing these things helps ensure you have effective digital body language, which creates the psychological safety needed for accountability.

Be Available

Your availability and responsiveness are key to creating an environment of accountability. They are even more important in a virtual or hybrid environment than in a face-to-face workplace. People can see what you’re doing when you share a workspace, so they know when you’re busy. In a virtual environment, we don’t have this information and can come to any conclusion. For example, if you don’t respond to an email in three or four hours, the trust people have in you may take a hit, which can affect accountability.

One way to prevent these kinds of miscommunications is to set norms with your team. For example, discuss what constitutes a timely response. Get clear agreement and have everyone abide by it.

Good Leaders Create Accountability

Our changing workplace requires new ways of creating a culture of accountability—especially when so many leaders and their people are no longer in the same workspace. But the use of good leadership skills will inspire people to be accountable. And when that happens, your team will reach new heights of success!

Help Wanted: VUCA Leaders! Dealing with Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, and Ambiguity

Britney Cole — Tue, 08 Mar 2022 11:45:00 +0000

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Our collective future is unfolding right before us. It demands a new kind of leader.

Consider life in this new era. An event happens on the other side of the world and its ripples nearly capsize our boats thousands of miles away. The pandemic is the latest example that we are more interconnected than we knew. A virus originated in China, a South African variant traveled around the world with disarming speed, and we resorted to social distancing, another round of vaccinations (or not), office closures, etc.

Now we are experiencing dramatic shifts in global markets and new technologies. A supply chain disruption roils countess markets. A new technology overthrows the process and forces us to react. These changes leave a path of creative destruction marked by the birth of start-ups and the fall of former Goliaths.

It is nearly impossible to predict what is going to happen next and how it will impact our lives. “Business as usual” already sounds like a quaint relic from the pre-pandemic past. We are now in the phase of accepting that many things will never go back to the way they were.

So what will the leader of tomorrow look like? Here are seven skills the VUCA leader must master.

Seven Skills of a VUCA Leader

1. Lead with a compass. The business world was once made up of workplace silos—functional or local, perhaps. Leaders knew their boundaries and were relatively comfortable with them.

The future organization will be flat and incredibly nimble. The VUCA leader has a bird’s-eye perspective of the business and is able to survey the landscape, identify all the moving parts, and understand how they are connected.

This 360^o vision requires a leader with a clear sense of purpose and a deep understanding of an organization’s vision, mission, and goals. The VUCA leader makes sense of all this and helps their team see the bigger picture and how their work matters. And they have exemplary communication skills that allow them to communicate what they are observing with their people.

2. Innovate with a purpose. The VUCA leader doesn’t do a task out of habit. Micro-innovating is the norm. Using micro-innovations turbocharges creativity, unleashes the power of teams, and enriches the customer experience.

3. Be an agile shapeshifter. The VUCA leader pivots instantly. They are a tinkerer, not an order taker. They are constantly learning through both successes and flops as they keep up with the changing business landscape. Once they have surveyed a situation, they determine the best path forward.

Being an agile shapeshifter is tricky. It requires seeking multiple perspectives while also making sure not to become stalled by analysis paralysis.

4. Embrace imperfection. Knowing when a minimum viable product is sufficient and ready for feedback requires vulnerability and being okay with “just enough.” Consider the power of iterative improvements. Amazon, Meta, and Etsy are just three examples of companies that have dramatically evolved since their founding. Embracing innovation also means being willing to accept redirection, failure, and setbacks.

The VUCA leader knows that perfection is the enemy of progress. Chasing after an unrealistic ideal can result in missed opportunities.

5. Prioritize ruthlessly. The VUCA leader continually reviews their priorities and jettisons those that no longer make a meaningful contribution to their strategic goals. This requires knowing when to allocate resources. The VUCA leader understands the trade-offs involved in assigning people to projects that offer little return versus those that have great promise.

6. Be constantly curious. The aggregate amount of knowledge is growing so fast that the VUCA leader recognizes the improbability of being an authority on a subject. They partner with their people to seek smart solutions and don’t blame team members for their shortcomings. Instead of blaming conversations, they have learning conversations.

7. Never be satisfied. The VUCA leader doesn’t rest on their laurels. They understand a business world that is spinning ever faster doesn’t allow one to celebrate a success for long.

The new reality seems daunting. But the VUCA leader will meet it with poise and grace. I’m preparing myself for the coming future. What are you doing to get ready?

Not Sure How to Answer, “Why Did You Leave That Company?” Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 05 Mar 2022 11:45:00 +0000

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Dear Madeleine,

If relationships fail and one decides to pivot away from a toxic organization or situation, what is the best way to tell that story in a job interview?

For example, I may be asked “Why did you leave that company?” My true feeling is it was all about the toxic culture. The objective truth might be more likely that I failed—ran out of patience, failed to make breakthroughs in those relationships, etc. Ultimately, it was a personal decision to leave based on my mental, emotional, and professional health and career choice.

What do you think?

Preparing for My Next Step

______________________________________________________________________

Dear Preparing for My Next Step,

First, congratulations for having the guts to jump ship. So many just suck it up and stay miserable. It takes real courage to recognize an intractable situation and do what is needed to take care of yourself.

I consulted our Trust expert and coauthor of the just-published book Simple Truths of Leadership (with Ken Blanchard), Randy Conley, on this one. He says:

“I’d encourage you to be honest in a respectful way that doesn’t disparage your former employer or boss. I’ve conducted hundreds of interviews and have heard the good, bad, and ugly from people sharing reasons for leaving a past employer. The people who impressed me the most have been those whose integrity shined through in the way they explained their departure.

“A good way to get the message across is by using ‘I’ language to take ownership of your decision to leave, while clearly and diplomatically explaining that there was a misalignment between your values and theirs or the culture didn’t provide the type of environment in which you could flourish.

“Yours is a very common reason why people leave jobs, so I wouldn’t get too self-conscious about discussing it in a respectful and professional manner. Remember, your response shapes your reputation.”

I really can’t say it better than that. The only thing I would add is that it might be a good idea to prepare in advance some brief concise remarks about what you are looking for in the culture of your next job. Also, maybe add a little more detail about what you learned about yourself from the experience and what you might do differently in the future should you run into a similar bind. Your last gig made you hyper aware of what you don’t want, so how exactly can you use that experience to define what you do want? And if you are ready to own your part in having to leave, how might you apply that knowledge to build stronger relationships in your next job?

That will keep things on a lighter note—a positive vision of the future is always attractive. And you are ready for the inevitable behavioral interview question: “How might you deal with a perceived lack of values alignment in the future?” It will also assist your interviewer in assessing culture fit for your next potential opportunities.

Both Randy and I wish you the best of luck finding the exact right spot for your next career chapter.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Simple Truths for a New World of Work

Ken Blanchard — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 14:38:56 +0000

In my new book Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways to Be a Servant Leader and Build Trust—cowritten with my colleague, trust expert Randy Conley—we take a look at some practical, day-to-day leadership principles leaders can apply in their organizations.

Simple Truths of Leadership is broken down into 52 concepts/quotes, half on the topic of servant leadership and half on trust. Each concept has descriptions and activities that will result in increased trust, collaboration, innovation, and engagement in relationships involving leaders and their team members.

A focus on both servant leadership and trust is an important consideration in today’s work environment. It’s a one-two combination that Randy and I believe will bring renewed focus to the importance of empathy and the human touch in workplace relationships.

Here’s a sample of the first three Simple Truths we cover in the first half of the book.

SIMPLE TRUTH #1: Servant leadership is the best way to achieve both great results and great relationships.

3D rendering blank book on white background.

Organizational leaders often have an either/or attitude toward results and people. For example, leaders who focus only on results may have trouble creating great relationships with their people and leaders who focus mainly on relationships may have trouble getting desired results.

Yet you can get both great results and great relationships if you understand the two parts of servant leadership:

The leadership aspect focuses on vision, direction, and results—where you as a leader hope to take your people. Leaders should involve others in setting direction and determining desired results, but if people don’t know where they’re headed or what they’re meant to accomplish, the fault lies with the leader.
The servant aspect focuses on working side by side in relationship with your people. Once the vision and direction are clear, the leader’s role shifts to service— helping people accomplish the agreed-upon goals.

MAKING COMMON SENSE COMMON PRACTICE

This one-two punch of the aspects of servant leadership enables you to create both great results and great relationships:

Let your people know what they’re being asked to do by setting the vision and direction with their help. In other words, vision and direction, while the responsibility of the leader, is not a top-down process.
During implementation, assure your people you are there to serve, not to be served. Your responsibility is to help them accomplish their goals through training, feedback, listening, and communication.

It’s important for servant leaders to establish this both/and mindset toward results and relationships.

SIMPLE TRUTH #2: Every great organization has a compelling vision.

When I explain what a compelling vision is to some leaders in organizations, they either give me a blank look or say something like “I’m sure we have one on the wall somewhere.” So what is a compelling vision?

According to my book with Jesse Stoner, Full Steam Ahead! Unleash the Power of Vision in Your Work and Your Life, a compelling vision includes three elements: your purpose (what business you are in), your picture of the future (where you are going) and your values (what will guide your journey).

A compelling vision is alive and well in companies that are leaders in their field, such as Disney, Southwest Airlines, Nordstrom, Wegmans, and Starbucks.

MAKING COMMON SENSE COMMON PRACTICE

Here’s how you can incorporate the three elements of a compelling vision in your organization:

Make sure the people in your organization know what business they are in. For example, when Walt Disney started his theme parks, he said, “We are in the happiness business.”
Confirm that your people know where they are going—what good results would look like. At Disney, the picture of the future is that all guests of the parks would have the same smile on their faces when leaving as when they entered.
Find out if the people in your organization are clear on what values will guide their journey. Disney’s first value is safety. Its next values are courtesy and “the show,” which is about everyone playing their parts perfectly, whether they are a ticket taker or Mickey Mouse. Disney’s final value is efficiency—having a well-run, profitable organization.

If you can share your compelling vision as clearly as Disney does, congratulations! You have just made common sense common practice.

SIMPLE TRUTH #3: Servant leaders turn the traditional pyramid upside down.

Most organizations and leaders get into trouble during the implementation phase of servant leadership if the traditional hierarchical pyramid is used. When that happens, whom do people think they work for? The people above them.

The minute you think you work for the person above you, you assume that person—your boss—is responsible and your job is to be responsive to your boss’s whims or wishes. “Boss watching” can become a popular sport where people get promoted based on their upward-influencing skills. As a result, all the energy of the organization moves up the hierarchy, away from customers and the frontline folks who are closest to the action.

Servant leaders know how to correct this situation by philosophically turning the pyramid upside down when it comes to implementation. Now the customer contact people and the customers are at the top of the organization, and everyone in the leadership hierarchy works for them. This one change makes a major difference in who is responsible and who is responsive.

MAKING COMMON SENSE COMMON PRACTICE

To make servant leadership come alive, implementation is key:

Communicate to your people that you work for them, not the other way around. Your job is to serve, not to evaluate.
Empower your people by letting them bring their brains to work. In this way, they become responsible— able to respond—to their internal and external customers. Your job is to be responsive to them, helping them accomplish their goals.

This creates a very different environment for implementation and makes it clear to everyone who is responsible, and to whom.

I hope I’ve piqued your interest in learning about how you can introduce our commonsense leadership practices into your organization. If I have, check out the free eBook we’ve put together that shares a little more information about Simple Truths of Leadership—and check out what others are saying about the book through retail booksellers such as Barnes & Noble or Amazon.com.

The world is in desperate need of a new leadership model—one that focuses on results and people. Trusted servant leadership is the approach Randy and I believe in. Let us know what you think!

Former Peers Not Happy with Your Promotion? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 19 Feb 2022 11:45:00 +0000

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Dear Madeleine,

I was recently promoted to lead a team I’ve been on for over a year. We started out with a very good team leader, but it became apparent that he was leading too many teams and didn’t have the time. He recommended to his boss that I take it on. He asked me if I was interested and I said yes, and the next thing I knew it was a done deal. Normally in my company, jobs are posted, people apply, and it all feels equitable. But this time, probably because we are growing so fast and there is so much going on, they skipped that step and just made the announcement. I guess because I am not getting a raise or a title change, they thought it would be okay to just cut to the chase.

Well, I wish they hadn’t. My peers—or I guess I should say former peers—are not happy about the way things went down. As I grapple with trying to find my footing, all I see on Zoom is a bunch of glum faces. When I ask questions, ask for ideas, or try to get discussion going, I get crickets. I used to have great relationships with everyone on the team and now I feel like they all hate me.

I feel very alone and there is so much work to do. I am afraid the team, in protest, will sabotage all of the good things we had going on. I am a nervous wreck. Help.

Thrown to the Wolves

__________________________________________________________________________

Dear Thrown to the Wolves,

This sounds really hard. I’m so sorry.

There are a couple of things here. It is clear that the process your former lead used to replace himself skipped some critical steps—like giving you the job description and the terms of your agreement, for starters. I wonder if you would have agreed to take on that much more responsibility without a pay raise. I am raising one eyebrow here and wondering if you might want to revisit that decision. Perhaps you should have a conversation with your old team lead (if he is still your boss) or your new boss.

Now. How to get your team onboard with you as their leader? It will take some guts, but if you don’t create a space to talk about the herd of elephants in the room, I don’t know that you will be able to get past it. Start with the truth: you were barely consulted and were tossed into the deep end. It will be hard to tell the truth without throwing your former team lead under the bus, but if you just stick to the facts about how things went down, you should be okay. You can call out that you understand how the process was unfair and that although you had no hand in creating the situation, you recognize how it must feel. Call out the weirdness of now being the boss of people who were your peers five minutes ago. If it feels right, go ahead and share the silver lining of having been peers with everyone on the team by noting the superpower of each member of the team. Say whatever you need to say about how awkward your position is, but keep it short and sweet. Give everyone on the team a chance to say whatever they need to say about it. The more you make it about them, the better off you will be.

Then share that you care about the whole team, you want success for everyone, and you can’t do it without them. Ask for their input on what it would look like if you did a good job. Listen carefully, take notes, and commit to anything that sounds reasonable. You might take their feedback, give it some thought, and create a list of commitments you feel confident you can keep.

The more you choose to come from a place of serving both the greater good of the team as a whole and the success of each individual on the team, the more they will be willing to accept you in the role. For more on servant leadership, click here. Share your vision for how great the team can continue to be. Share the values you lean on as a leader, if you know what they are. Share your expectations of yourself. Lay out a list of all the cool things the team is working on and connect each one to the goals of the organization so they are reminded of the importance of the work you are all doing.

In the next meeting, get input from the team on what has been working well and what they might want to change in the team culture, so that you all have an opportunity to build the team anew.

As you go, you will want to set up one-on-one meetings with each member of the team. Ask questions and just listen to the answers. Questions might be something like:

Other than your feeling betrayed about how the transfer of leadership happened, is there anything I have done that has broken trust with you?
What can I do to gain your trust?
What else do you want me to know?
Is there anything you see that you think I should start doing, stop doing, do more of, do less of?
Do you have any specific interests or strengths you have not been able to leverage as much as you’d like that I should know about?
What other advice do you have for me?

Meeting one-on-one with you will give team members an opportunity to vent their feelings more candidly than they might have in the group. Just really listen, reflect back what you hear, ask clarifying questions. Don’t defend yourself or get into a discussion. If you feel compelled to discuss something, make a note and loop back and do it in a subsequent conversation.

The more you are willing to be vulnerable and listen, the quicker your team will get over themselves and get back to work.

If you weren’t capable of managing this very difficult situation, your former team lead wouldn’t have chosen you. Remind yourself of what you are best at and trust yourself to be smart, caring, and attentive. You will have a cohesive wolf pack before you know it.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Game Time for VR Leadership Development

Jay Campbell — Thu, 17 Feb 2022 11:58:48 +0000

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The time for virtual reality (VR) in leadership development has arrived.

VR simulations are becoming more immersive. Equipment and development costs are falling. Leaders are busier than ever. And the pandemic has scattered workforces and required social distancing.

A Giant Step for Leadership Development

VR represents such a giant step in leadership development that it’s worth reviewing the past. Ten years ago, most leadership training happened in face-to-face classrooms. Over the last few years, much of it has evolved into online training modules and stretched learning journeys. While these modalities are more accessible to the learner in a moment of need, these online modalities came with the difficult challenge: how do you allow people to practice new skills and reinforce new concepts in an e-learning design?

VR for leadership development addresses these challenges by integrating learning into the flow of work. New concepts and skills are immediately reinforced. This turns theory into behavior.

That’s just the beginning. We are truly at a watershed moment.

Learning Becomes Behavior

What makes VR so powerful is that it is experiential. It sticks with the learner as a lived memory. In scientific terms, experiential learning creates episodic memory. For the purposes of learning, episodic memory results in unmatched retention and behavioral change. That makes VR one of the most powerful ways to turn learning into behavior.

Another powerful benefit of VR is that behaviors in real and virtual worlds are easily transferred. L&D professionals can create experiences that intentionally cultivate specific behaviors in learners. And what learners practice in simulation is likely to be demonstrated in the workplace. In fact, VR is so powerful that skill transfer can happen spontaneously and unconsciously.

Safe Practice Builds Skills

VR lets leaders practice new skills without worrying about real-world consequences. While this “safe sandbox” benefit applies to any type of online training, the stakes within leadership development are often much higher, as they can have ramifications across an organization. VR defuses much of the performance anxiety a learner might have.

VR is also less likely to produce anxiety in learners. People aren’t as worried about making a mistake or saying something stupid. When the brain is less preoccupied with stress, it can learn more easily.

VR Gives Objective Feedback

It’s common for trainers in face-to-face workshops to facilitate 20 to 30 people, with ten or more table teams or breakout groups to coordinate. Even the best facilitators will struggle to keep track of how all the learners are faring and to give each learner thoughtful and objective feedback. Additionally, learners can be biased and ill-informed when they evaluate themselves and their colleagues.

VR removes any subjectivity and inexperience from learner evaluations. Every learner choice is scored, every individual receives a thorough diagnosis, and every leader receives impartial feedback.

It also ensures consistency of experience. When you’re partnered with another learner, your experience is largely dependent on the aptitude of your partner. With VR, you’re always working with the perfect partner.

VR Is Incredibly Powerful

Early research shows that VR may be the most powerful learning modality. PricewaterhouseCoopers found that VR learners got up to speed four times faster than classroom learners and almost two times faster than with e-learning alone. VR also results in greater focus and fewer distractions on the part of learners.

VR is accessible when you need it. It offers a risk-free proving ground. It enables real learning and behavior transfer. And it provides personalized, accurate feedback every time. Put leaders in a well-designed simulation and they can quickly master skills that may have eluded them for some time.

VR has changed the way pilots and surgeons train. Leadership is next in line.

Empathy in Action: A Thoughtful Look at the Empathetic Leader

Scott Blanchard — Tue, 15 Feb 2022 11:45:00 +0000

Ron Darling, a stellar pitcher with the New York Mets in the 1980s, was going through a brutal divorce. He struggled through spring training and the start of the season. His emotional turmoil hurt his game.

Davey Johnson, the team’s roughneck manager, noticed Darling’s struggles and reportedly said to him, “I went through a rough divorce. You can’t sleep. It affects every part of your life. It’s devastating. I get it. My heart goes out to you.”

He then continued, “But I’m also your manager. We pay you a lot of money to pitch. It’s also in your best interests to be successful. So leave the past behind you and throw the ball!” As the story goes, this conversation turned Darling’s career around.

This story is a wonderful illustration of the power of empathy. If Johnson hadn’t first empathized with his player’s difficulties, Darling might have become furious, left the team, or quit baseball. But Johnson first empathized, making Darling receptive to the truth, which inspired him to perform to the best of his ability.

The story also shows that empathetic leadership must not be used in isolation. It is a virtue that thrives when it’s coupled with other virtues. Being only empathetic would lead to its own set of problems. Balancing empathy with other qualities is where things can get a bit spicy.

Empathy is Essential for Great Leadership

Let’s start with some basics before we explore the complexity of this topic. A good leader is an empathetic leader. In fact, it’s hard to image a successful leader who isn’t empathetic.

The pandemic has taken an emotional toll on everyone. We have a greater need today to be heard and understood. We expect our leaders to acknowledge what we are feeling and be sensitive to it. That is why the quality of empathy is so prized right now.

Being empathetic isn’t just a feel-good philosophy. It stimulates innovation, spurs engagement, and improves retention. People who work for empathetic leaders are more productive, loyal, and happier at their jobs.

Being empathetic is a win-win proposition.

Empathy in Relationships

Empathy is fundamental part of our relationships. It is vital under certain circumstances. It’s when, as a leader, you know it’s time to ask, “How can I support you?”

Listening is a wonderful form of empathy. Sometimes people need to be heard and that’s sufficient. Sometimes people want advice. Whatever the case, though, empathy should result in meaningful action.

Empathy in Conversations

I like to say there are two kinds of conversations: useful and useless. Empathy is essential for a useful conversation. I must know how you are feeling if we are to have a meaningful exchange. By demonstrating empathy, I can connect with you, understand where you are, and move forward.

Useful conversations create positive regard between two people. They also create clarity and focus about what will happen next. In contrast, useless conversations lack clarity or end with a disagreement or a drop in regard from one or both people.

Sometimes people are unempathetic because they don’t know their own feelings or they project what they are feeling onto others. If I’m feeling suspicious, I assume the person I’m talking to is also feeling this way. Empathy really starts with self-awareness.

Empathy and Forthrightness

Empathy should be present in our interactions but needs to be coupled with forthrightness. It is a business truth that people need to perform, and, if they don’t meet expectations, the barriers to performance must be addressed.

To be clear, our reaction to someone in distress should be warm and empathetic. But that doesn’t mean the person should be coddled. In fact, they may not want to be coddled.

Empathy and Misreading Situations

It’s easy to misinterpret people and situations. We often bring our last conversation or the events of the day into the next interaction. We don’t always know if someone is reacting to us or to something that happened earlier. Observing someone’s behavior over a period of time is an effective way to separate what we might be projecting onto a situation.

Great leaders know how to balance their emotional and cognitive sides. They don’t get caught in someone else’s emotional turmoil. They listen with love. And they listen with discrimination. That combination produces true empathy.

Nice Versus Kind

When we’re empathizing with someone who’s struggling, there’s a tendency to be nice instead of kind. Nice is when we sugarcoat the truth or avoid it entirely. Kind is when we tell the truth in an empathetic or supportive way.

It’s unfair to withhold information from someone whose performance is subpar. You may feel it is the nice thing to do when someone is in distress, but it isn’t ultimately kind. The facts will remain unchanged no matter how you try to gloss over an issue. When you are kind, though, you are giving someone an opportunity to grow and change.

Empathy and kindness coupled with discrimination is always advisable.

Empathy and SLII®

The fundamental teaching of SLII® is how to break things down into discrete situations. Once you do this, you can deal with each situation based on its own merits. The first job of a leader taking a situational approach is to stop and consider the other person. This is an act of empathy.

One-on-one meetings, another cornerstone of SLII®, give leaders a chance to be empathetic. The employee sets the agenda and shares what’s important to them. Your job as a leader is to learn how they are performing and feeling—and empathize with their challenges.

A Final Thought

We all need to understand what positive and negative behaviors we regularly demonstrate. It’s so easy to become overwhelmed by our work that we lose sight of how we affect others.

When I catch myself falling into this trap, I’ll say to the other person, “Let me see if I can repeat back to you what I’ve heard so you know I understand what you’ve said.”

It’s my attempt to be empathetic. How about yours?

The Power of Micro-Innovations

Britney Cole — Thu, 10 Feb 2022 11:45:00 +0000

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When we think of innovation, people like Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and Steve Jobs tend to come to mind. The lone hero in solitude has a hold on our imagination, but the truth is that innovation is rarely the result of an inspired genius toiling away in a garage.

Groundbreaking innovation takes lots of people. Consider that more than 1,000 engineers worked on the first iPhone. More than 7,000 people worked on Curiosity (the rover on Mars). The takeaway? Innovation is a team sport.

Innovation doesn’t have to be splashy either. Call it micro-innovating. In fact, small and incremental changes can have an oversized impact on your work life. When to innovate? Anytime you feel your work isn’t serving the greater good. Micro-innovation can be extraordinarily powerful.

So how best to micro-innovate? Let’s take a closer look at what gets in the way of doing it and how you can harness your power.

Micro-Innovation Killer #1: To-Do Lists, Tunnel Vision, No Vision

A typical day: Most of us create a to-do list and strike items as we finish them. I know I personally feel a sense of completion and satisfaction when I click my task off my calendar. To-do items can become so ingrained in our routine. At its worst, checking off items becomes mindless, and we don’t even think about it. When that happens, our to-do lists have more meaning than the tasks themselves. Over time, the work loses significance, and we question why we do the things we do in the first place. Our perspective narrows and our thinking becomes siloed.

Purpose? Process improvement? Innovation? Forget about them because we’re so focused on completing a task—even if the task no longer serves a need. It’s easy to have tunnel vision and wear self-created blinders. And to be fair, we must make so many decisions in our personal life, it’s easy to turn it off at work. But, when our work is filled with tasks, we lose sight of our larger goals.

Micro-Innovation Killer #2: Fear Kills Creativity

Recently, I was speaking to one of my peers, a manager of individual contributors. She manages the leadership development at a large company and was making some updates to a program. She had asked one of her people for their honest opinion, wondering what they might change and how they might improve it. She loved the suggestions and wondered why the person didn’t share these great ideas sooner. The answer was disarming. The individual assumed that the choices were made for a reason and who was she to question those choices. She did not feel empowered to share her fresh perspective; there was no psychologically safe space to share her opinions.

How many people remain silent because of a fear? The majority. In fact, McKinsey found that just 26% of leaders create psychological safety for their teams. Where there is fear, there is little innovation.

Five Tips for Micro-Innovating

Innovation is one of those words that can be intimidating. But it’s inherent in our nature—or else we’d still be living as hunter-gatherers. We are attempting to improve our lives every day and innovate in the smallest ways. Whether it’s preparing meals on a Sunday before a busy work week, optimizing schedules with a planner app, using Microsoft Teams or Slack instead of email, we are always trying to improve our status quo.

Here are five tips to ignite your creative spark and start micro-innovating.

1. Give others permission to speak: Those ubiquitous “If you see something, say something” signs in the airport are relevant for innovating. A leader’s job is to make sure their people feel safe to say, “This task doesn’t feel helpful to what we are trying to achieve. I’d like to understand more about the importance of the task to the overall process—what do you see that perhaps I’m missing?”

Don’t expect your people to have an answer at the ready—and be clear that it’s okay they don’t have one. Pointing to areas of improvement is NOT complaining! They may not know how to fix the situation, but they have at least diagnosed that something needs improvement. They have ‘seen something and said something.’ And that can short-circuit a potential problem before it becomes a monumental one.

2. Ensure systems exist for people: Processes are supposed to streamline tasks, but often they become workplace handcuffs. When a process creates unnecessary administration or you get hints of malicious compliance, it’s time to rethink the process and suggest ways to streamline. Ask yourself these questions: “What are we trying to solve with this process? Are these actions having the desired impact on the experience we want to achieve? Does the system support us and the customer or slow us down?”

3. Always be learning: Innovation requires experimentation. This also means the willingness to fail. We learn through mistakes, bumps in the road, misalignments. It’s where we improve how we work together and how we meet the needs of our customers/business. The words of Thomas Edison, on the painstaking task of inventing the lightbulb, are a good reminder: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

You can speed innovation by having a learning mindset. Ask your people: “What do you see that I’m missing?” Then remember the iPhone and how it was an iterative invention driven by thousands of people. It takes time and patience. So be easy with your people and yourself.

4. Adopt the right mindset: Throw away your preconceived notions about innovation and focus on fostering a culture of innovation for yourself and your team. Be mindful of your emotional reactions and others by pausing before you respond. Be curious and open-minded and you will bring in multiple perspectives. Have courage to push through your fear of failure. Be resilient to overcome challenges you will face while converging and diverging along the innovation process.

5. Take needed downtime: Ever take a shower and a great idea comes while you’re shampooing your hair? Ever wake up in the middle of the night with a “eureka” moment? The brain needs downtime. When it gets a break, it can make new connections and serve up inspirations. So instead of relentlessly hammering away at the task, take a purposeful break. See what brilliant ideas spontaneously arise.

Micro-innovation is something for the ambitious and courageous. It requires the willingness to be wrong; to fail; to be resilient. All this can be humbling. And it likely will undermine your self-confidence at times. But what’s the alternative? Doing the same old thing over and over—even if it’s no longer useful.

Ready to rally your self-confidence, resilience, and fearlessness to create a small revolution?

Providing Legendary Service in Challenging Times

Kathy Cuff — Tue, 08 Feb 2022 11:45:00 +0000

Every day there seems to be a new story about an irate customer behaving badly. These unfortunate situations create psychological stress for frontline employees and additional pressures for businesses.

What can employees and companies do to provide Legendary Service while facing the headwinds of the pandemic?

Hard Times Demand Legendary Service

We’ve all been struggling through the pandemic. Everyone is tired and cranky. Everyone is lonely. And everyone’s patience seems to be at a breaking point, including executives, managers, and employees. No matter our role, we’re all human—and no one is immune to what’s been happening in our world.

Still, businesses need to stay in business. Organizations must remind their employees about the enduring value of providing Legendary Service to their customers. In fact, now is the moment for organizations to show their true colors and prove to their customers how much they matter.

Every team member must understand the importance of being patient, kind, and compassionate. When customers are difficult or wrong, the mission is to turn a bad experience into a great one. This makes the organization shine.

Look After Your People

First, make sure your people are not burned out—that they have the energy and emotional capacity needed to provide Legendary Service. Many companies are asking their employees to do a lot more with a lot less. That’s like putting people in a pressure cooker.

Then help your team members understand why serving customers is so important. That starts with making sure they have the mindset and skills to serve customers at the highest level.

How to Create Legendary Service

The CARE model (Committed, Attentive, Responsive, and Empowered) we teach in our Legendary Service training program is an excellent framework. CARE means:

Committed: Commit yourself to helping your people. Have their backs. Never ask them to do something you wouldn’t do yourself.

Attentive: Be attuned to the needs of your people and help them feel valued. Pay attention and give them grace when you sense they are fatigued. Praise people when they do well and redirect them when they get off track. Cheer them on and celebrate their accomplishments.

Responsive: Serve your people by being there when they need you. Use the correct leadership style for the person’s development level on different tasks. There’s no such thing as over-communicating during difficult times.

Empowered: Empower your people to provide the highest level of service without needing to call a manager. Empowerment isn’t about giving a pep talk. It means providing the training and skill sets people need to succeed.

When leaders follow the CARE model, they demonstrate that they understand what it takes to give Legendary Service. They show that they believe in a service mindset and they care about their people and their customers. It’s a virtuous cycle of continuous improvement.

The Challenge of Empowerment

Empowering your people can be a challenge. As a leader, you want your people to feel empowered to solve customer problems. At the same time, you don’t want them giving away the farm.

If your team members have never been trained in customer service, it’s likely they don’t know about empowerment. One of your first goals is to make sure people understand what is in their scope of authority. They need to know what they can say ‘yes’ to, what is in-bounds, and what is out-of-bounds.

When people know the extent of their authority, they know what they are able do to help a customer. They can resolve problems on the spot. They also know when to reach out to a leader.

Ken Blanchard says, “You want people to bring their brains to work.” Make sure your people feel empowered to use their best judgment to serve their customers. Encourage them to build relationships and emotional connections with both internal and external customers. When people bring their brains to work, they can take preemptive actions to build loyalty.

The Delicate Art of Expressing Empathy

Sometimes a customer’s problem can’t be immediately resolved. When that happens, it’s a perfect time to take pause and put yourself in their shoes. When you look at a situation from the other person’s perspective, you might feel empathetic. That doesn’t necessarily mean you agree with the person—customers can be wrong sometimes. But showing empathy can go a long way in diffusing a situation.

For example, think about the mask mandate currently in place for air travel. Some people are angry about it. They feel the CDC’s rules about masks are always changing and the law is inconsistent. A flight attendant raising their voice won’t calm a passenger. But empathy might—especially if the flight attendant says something like, “I get it. I understand. I’m also tired of wearing masks. I know it can be hard to breathe.”

Practicing difficult customer interactions with your team is an excellent way to plan for them. Imagine worst-case scenarios and then have your people respond to the challenge. Customers can get aggravated, frustrated, or angry, and you don’t want people’s reactions escalating the situation. Ask your team members to imagine what customers are feeling in these situations. Uncover why they might be frustrated and what response may aggravate them. Then have people practice acknowledging the customer’s feelings instead of just apologizing.

Humor as Your Friend

Humor can take tension out of a situation. It’s like deflating a balloon. It really is the best medicine, especially in a stressful or challenging moment. But it comes with a huge caveat—never make the customer feel as if they are the target of the joke. That will make the situation even worse. Just make sure that there’s no chance your humor will be misunderstood. We all could use a good laugh sometimes to blow off steam—as long as it isn’t at someone else’s expense.

The pandemic continues to run its course. Stress levels will remain high for the foreseeable future. Customers will be frustrated. But despite these challenges, we can still provide Legendary Service and turn difficult situations into winning ones.

Manager Keeps Shooting Down Your Plans? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 05 Feb 2022 16:09:39 +0000

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Dear Madeleine,

I have recently taken a job as office/operations manager for a medical practice. The managing partner is fairly new to the practice and was given the job because none of the other doctors want to deal with the day-to-day problems.

It is true that hiring and managing staff plus staying on top of the many rules, regulations, and insurance details is an endless series of issues. The practice has kept up with the times but just barely, and there is much room for improvement, efficiencies, and innovation.

The managing partner claims he wants to modernize and be more profitable, but every time I present him with a plan, he shoots it down.

How can I get him onboard with my ideas? I really just want to make things better around here.

Excited to Make Change

___________________________________________________________________

Dear Excited to Make Change,

Congratulations! You sound super excited and enthusiastic. I am sorry that the wind has been taken out of your sails with your first attempts, but with a few tweaks in your approach you will be on your way again.

It sounds like so far you have presented ideas and plans that you think are most needed—but your new managing partner doesn’t know you yet and has no reason to trust you. So your first step is to understand your managing partner. Schedule some time with him to ask questions, listen carefully to the answers, and take notes. Something like:

What is your vision for the practice?
If you could change one thing about the way we operate the practice today, what would it be?
What do you think is working well?
What do you think is not working well?
What is important you?
Of all the things that are important, which are the priorities?
What was it about my previous attempts at plans that didn’t work for you?
If I were to do my job perfectly, what would that look like to you?

Do not engage in discussion. If you must talk at all, ask follow-up questions to get more detail. Use phrases like “can you say more about that?” or “tell me more” or “can you share an example?” During your listening session, do not use the opportunity to argue for your plans. Really—I am not kidding—just listen and pay attention. After your listening session, write up your notes and send them to the managing partner. This will further cement the impression that you care and you are paying attention.

This meeting accomplishes a couple of things:

You will build trust: It makes the managing partner feel that he is included and you are interested in his opinions and ideas. So with just that, you are developing your relationship and making him feel like he matters. The rule of thumb here is that no one will trust the message until they trust the messenger.
You will learn a lot: You will get some insight into how your managing partner sees things, what is important to him, and how he thinks. You can use this information to craft a plan to tackle what matters most to him in a way that is compelling to him. You’ll learn his language: Does he speak and think in spreadsheets? Does he want to hear about best practices your competitors are using? Does he care only about money? Patient care? Customer service? Holding the doctors accountable?

When the time comes to share a plan, you can frame it as his own idea; e.g., “You said the most critical thing we need to address is patient care, so I have taken your suggestions, added a few based on my research, and would like to present some ideas on how we might tackle that.” The tactic of making the person with the power to greenlight your plans think the whole thing was their idea is as old as time—because it works. If you feel yourself balking at this notion because you want credit for your own genius, I get that. And I say get over it. Focus on how you can get stuff done, and not on who will get credit for it.

Some other thoughts to consider as you get more insight into what your manager is thinking about and how he is thinking about it:

Create a survey for everyone working in the practice to assess what matters to them, what gets in the way of them doing their best work, and what ideas they have to “make things better around here.” Then, leverage public opinion to argue for some good ideas. You can do interviews with people or use an online survey tool like Survey Monkey, which has a free version. You don’t have to be an expert to create surveys. Just be sure to ask one question at a time. Create ways for people to respond to problems that have already been surfaced, to get a sense of which ones are the most pressing for people.
Research what your competitors do differently (or better) than you. Study the latest best practices and be clear about how these practices make a difference. Use as much data as you can get your hands on to make your case.
Connect your ideas to your practice’s values (if they exist), strategic plan (if there is one), and/or goals for growth (if there are any).
If your managing partner shoots down your next attempt, you might lobby for support among the doctors and others in the practice who have influence.

Hopefully, one or more of these ideas will be helpful. Don’t give up. What seems obvious to you is probably not obvious to others. This is an opportunity for you to develop the skills of gaining supporters and building enthusiasm for your ideas and plans. I promise—having these skills will serve you well for your entire career!

You probably wish you could just have a great idea and move directly to execution. I remember feeling that way a long time ago. That works if it is just you. But the minute you try to do things for an entire group, you become a political animal, and that is a lot of work—much more work than you think it should be. But worth it in the end.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Inspiring Yourself When You’re Depleted

Susan Fowler — Tue, 25 Jan 2022 12:45:00 +0000

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Exhaustion is in the air, but you can generate the vitality you need right now.

We need first to understand why we’re all feeling depleted. There are two types of depletion: physical and psychological. We all know the signs of physical depletion and its remedy: take a walk, eat healthy food, do yoga, rest. But if you’ve ever had to drag yourself out of bed, even after a good night’s sleep, it probably has nothing to do with your physical reserves. More likely, your low energy results from your mental state. You are psychologically depleted.

Our psychological well-being depends on the feeling that we have a choice in a situation, are connected with others, and are competent enough to meet the challenges at hand. Consider the current world situation, and it’s no wonder that our choice, connection, and competence feels under siege.

How the Pandemic Limits Choice, Connection, and Competence

The pandemic has challenged our sense of choice. “I have to wear a mask. I have to get a vaccine. I have to work in a virtual team.” Suddenly, it appears that your choices are limited.

But choice is a matter of perception. Some people have struggled during the pandemic, feeling that their freedom is restricted. When this happens, they often react by making questionable choices to restore their sense of control. Other people think, “I can go to the store and wear a mask, or I can choose to stay home and order the item online.”

The pandemic’s effect on connection is obvious. We are in the middle of a global experiment in social distancing. It’s risky to get together in groups. People’s feelings of loneliness are skyrocketing.

As for competence, we’re all in unfamiliar territory filled with new conditions and demands. Competence can be as simple as trying to prevent your glasses from fogging up when you’re wearing a mask. More demanding examples include mastering new technology, homeschooling your kids, and caring for a sick loved one. It is an unrelenting barrage.

The erosion of choice, connection, and competence leads to feeling depleted—your psychological well-being has diminished. But you can restore your sense of choice, connection, and competence and generate much-needed vitality.

You Always Have Choices

You always have choices—even in the most difficult situations. You may counter that a prisoner doesn’t have options, but that’s incorrect. We can choose how we will respond to any challenge.

Viktor Frankl, a neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, author, and Holocaust survivor, wrote Man’s Search for Meaning. He shared that when he was in a concentration camp, he felt a surge of energy when he shared his bread—even when he was starving. He would also help someone up if they fell, although the punishment was being whipped. In these dire circumstances, he concluded that nobody could take his autonomy away. That is certainly true for us. We always have a choice.

Mindfulness increases our awareness of the choices we have. If we are weighed down with worry, we’re less likely to see and appreciate the options available to us. Stay in the present. Ask yourself, “What choices do I have at this moment?”

Creating Connection

We are hardwired to connect with others. A great way to feel connected is to volunteer; to contribute to something greater than yourself. Even with social distancing, you can seek out opportunities to help others.

There is overwhelming evidence that helping others is physically and psychologically beneficial. Helping others is helping ourselves. So if you’re feeling disconnected, you can remedy it by participating in something larger than yourself; something that unites people, not divides them.

Connection is also a matter of finding meaning, whatever your circumstances. Meaningful is not a selfish, self-centered, or me-against-the-world attitude. It is about contributing to the greater good. And it’s exhilarating when we do this. The best choices are meaningful choices.

Just a word of caution in our divisive times. Belonging to a tribe that pits one person or group against another or is based on an us-versus-them mentality won’t give you a true sense of connection. It might momentarily fill a void, but it will ultimately leave you empty.

Competence: Be Gentle with Yourself

We need to be gentle with ourselves. The pandemic is a unique situation in our lives, and we’re all stumbling as we navigate the challenges of a new world. We need to give ourselves a break and take a page from SLII®. We are all disillusioned learners (called “D2”) who struggle to master the world around us. We’re at D2 when wearing a mask, getting distracted while working at home, and on and on.

Being at D2 is uncomfortable. (Read our blog on becoming comfortable with this unavoidable phase). Keep in mind that being at D2 is a natural stage of development. With proactive self leadership, you will move through it to attain mastery.

Build Your Psychological Well-being on Choice, Connection, and Competence

Choice, connection, and competence are the building blocks of psychological vitality. And that stimulates physical energy. So the next time you’re feeling sluggish and depleted, consider if your need for choice, connection, or competence is under threat. Then take steps to consider your choices, connect your choices to meaningful values that contribute to the greater good, and appreciate how much you’re learning. You’ll soon be feeling vital.

What Are YOUR Simple Truths of Leadership?

David Witt — Thu, 20 Jan 2022 12:25:00 +0000

Effective leadership is an influence process where leaders implement everyday, commonsense approaches that help people and organizations thrive. Yet somehow, many of these fundamental principles are still missing from most workplaces.

In their new book, Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways to Be a Servant Leader and Build Trust, legendary servant leadership expert Ken Blanchard, whose books have sold millions of copies worldwide, and his colleague Randy Conley, known and recognized for his many years of thought leadership and expertise in the field of trust, share fifty-two Simple Truths about leadership that will help leaders everywhere make commonsense leadership common practice.

3D rendering blank book on white background.

The book covers a wide-ranging list of leadership skills certain to bring out the best in people. One of the things that make Blanchard and Conley’s approach different is the down-to-earth practicality of what they recommend. Instead of outcome or trait statements, the authors share leadership behaviors that get results.

How about you? What day-to-day leadership behaviors have made a big difference in your effectiveness as a leader?

Below are five examples from Blanchard and Conley. Are any of these on your list of simple leadership truths? Which of these have been powerful in your life as a leader? Which do you wish you would have learned earlier? What else would you include?

1. See Feedback as a Gift

Giving feedback to the boss doesn’t come naturally to most people, so getting honest feedback from your team members may be difficult. They may fear being the messenger bearing bad news, so they hesitate to be candid.

If you are lucky enough to receive feedback from one of your team members, remember—they’re giving you a gift. Limit yourself to three responses. Make sure the first thing you say is “Thank you!” Then follow up with “This is so helpful,” and “Is there anything else you think I should know?”

2. Help People Win

It’s hard for people to feel good about themselves if they are constantly falling short of their goals. That’s why it’s so important for you as a leader to do everything you can to help people win—accomplish their goals—by ensuring the following:

Make sure your people’s goals are clear, observable, and measurable.
As their leader, work together with your people to track progress.
When performance is going well or falling short of expectations, give them appropriate praising, redirecting, or coaching—or reexamine whether your leadership style matches the person’s development level on a specific goal.

3. Admit Your Mistakes

If you make a mistake, own it. Admit what you did, apologize if necessary, and then put a plan in place to not repeat the mistake. Here are some best practices you can follow:

Be prompt. Address the mistake as soon as possible. Delay can make it appear you’re trying to avoid or cover up the issue.
Accept responsibility. Own your behavior and any damage it caused.
Highlight the learning. Let your team know what you’ve learned and what you’ll do differently next time.
Be brief. Don’t over-apologize or beat yourself up. Mistakes happen.

4. Extend Trust

Many leaders are afraid to give up too much control for fear that something will come back to bite them. They think it isn’t worth the risk to give up control. Are you willing to give up control and trust others? If you struggle to relinquish control and trust others, start with baby steps:

Identify low-risk situations where you feel comfortable extending trust.
Assess a person’s trustworthiness by gauging their competence to handle the task, integrity to do the right thing, and commitment to follow through.
As you become more comfortable giving up control and learn that others can be trusted, extend more trust as situations allow.

5. Rebuild Trust When Broken

Leaders inevitably do something to erode trust—and when that happens, it’s good to have a process to follow to rebuild it. Trust can usually be restored if both parties are willing to work at it. If you have eroded trust in a relationship, follow this process to begin restoring it:

Acknowledge. The first step in restoring trust is to acknowledge there is a problem. Identify the cause of low trust and what behaviors you need to change.
Apologize. Take ownership of your role in eroding trust and express remorse for the harm it has caused.
Act. Commit to not repeating the behavior and act in a more trustworthy way in the future.

Blanchard and Conley’s new book is being released on February 1. Would you like a sneak peek? Download this eBook summary of Simple Truths of Leadership.

Interested in learning more? Join Blanchard and Conley for a special webinar on January 26 where the authors will be highlighting key concepts from their book. The event is free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies. Use this link to register.

Commonsense Servant Leadership Truths: Your Invitation to Join Us

Ken Blanchard — Tue, 18 Jan 2022 12:45:00 +0000

I recently announced the February 1 publication of my new book with longtime colleague and trust expert Randy Conley, Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways to Be a Servant Leader and Build Trust. Now I’d like people to know what inspired the book and why I’m so excited about it.

The beginning of my mission statement is “I am a loving teacher and an example of simple truths.” From the time I was a young college professor, I have always looked for simple truths that reflect commonsense practices people can use to make their work and life—as well as the lives of the people they care about—happier and more satisfying.

3D rendering blank book on white background.

Simple truths are not complicated but they are powerful. An example would be “All good performance starts with clear goals” or “Praise progress!” When I talk to audiences about these simple truths, I often add, “Duh!” because what I’m saying is so obvious. The audience always laughs because it’s common sense. The trouble is, too many people aren’t applying commonsense leadership principles in the workplace. When was the last time your leader took the time to review your goals with you? When was the last time your leader praised you, in specific detail, for a job well done? If it was recently, you’re one of the lucky ones.

Effective leadership is about implementing everyday, commonsense practices that will help your organization thrive. Yet so many leaders get caught up in the next urgent task that they forget to “walk the talk” and apply these basic good principles. That’s why we organized our book into 52 simple truths—one for each week of the year—which leaders can implement on the job. Each simple truth is described on a single page and can be read in about a minute. That’s brief enough for even the busiest leader!

The book also includes a discussion guide with twenty-four questions that touch on topics related to the 52 simple truths. You can use these questions to prompt discussions in a group setting or use them for independent study. Either way, the guide is intended to stimulate your thinking and help you become a wise and trusted servant leader.

When commonsense leadership is put into practice, everybody wins—leaders, their people, their organizations, and their stakeholders. If you’d like to know more, my coauthor Randy Conley and I will be talking about these common-sense practices in a webinar on Wednesday, January 26 at 7:00 a.m. Pacific Time. To sign up, click here: Simple Truths of Leadership: Becoming a Trusted Servant Leader. You won’t want to miss it!

8 Keys to Re-engaging a Fatigued Workforce

Vicki Halsey — Thu, 13 Jan 2022 12:45:00 +0000

Reading about how tired we are is fatiguing. So let’s try something different.

We’re built to want to be part of something that’s meaningful. We’re eager to learn. We love wrestling with a challenge. It’s in our nature and we can’t help it. So instead of focusing on how everyone is depleted, why not appeal to our better selves?

Here are things you can do to re-energize yourself and your team.

Make Meetings Energizing

Here’s an all-too-typical meeting: a leader doggedly works through a PowerPoint deck while a restless audience scrolls through social media, checks email, or stares vacantly at the slides.

How do you avoid this and make your meetings more dynamic? Make sure everyone participates!

Invite people to ask questions, and then elaborate on their answers.
Ask attendees to call on other participants to share insights.
Compliment people when they make an insightful observation.
Have designated people share best practices, then open it up for others to contribute their brilliance.
Put people in break-out rooms where they work on and create solutions to a current problem (Called Highly Paid Experts Activity.)

If you really want to engage people, ask, “What can we do that will put us out of business?” The purpose of this provocative question is to identify a real-work problem that perpetually pops up. Then have your team fix it. You can end the meeting by having all team members share their inspired ideas and then piloting the best solution.

Beat Meeting Fatigue

What to do if your team is inattentive?

Here’s an obvious solution: Hold shorter meetings. Schedule meetings of 20 instead of 30 minutes or 50 instead of 60 minutes. This will reduce cognitive overload and meeting fatigue.

You could also assign a different team member each week to run the meeting. They would be responsible for gathering agenda items and creating interactive exercises.

Here’s a different suggestion: stop the meeting and ask, “Is there anything we should start doing so we aren’t so drained? What should we continue doing? How can we make sure we’re serving customers and each other at the highest level? If you were running this meeting, what would you do to keep everyone engaged?”

You want to spark a courageous conversation. Your goal is to discover why your people are frustrated. Listen to their answers and weave their solutions into the fabric the workplace.

Hold Short, Weekly One-on-Ones

What? We are recommending another meeting?! One-on-ones are something different. Hear me out.

One-on-one meetings with your people are one of the most powerful tools a leader has to re-engage a fatigued workforce. They’re also one of the greatest gifts you can give someone—you are creating a reliable space where they set the agenda and share what’s on their mind. Another benefit? Since your people know they have this time coming up, they’ll contact you less often about the little things.

Your first job is to just listen. That’s easy to say—but hard to do. Our minds are so busy planning the next big thing that we often listen halfheartedly. What are people’s favorite three words to hear from you? Tell me more.

Here’s a common example of halfhearted listening: instead of focusing on what you were saying, your manager was scrolling through their phone. Now think of a time when you talked with a boss who leaned in, heard what you had to say, and even confided their frustrations and hopes. As the direct report, how much effort would you want to give to the manager who was preoccupied versus the one who genuinely cared?

Make one-on-ones with your people meaningful by asking these questions:

What’s most important for you to discuss today?
What would make your life easier here?
What is energizing to you? What would you like to do more of? What consistently drains you?
What can we do to make our team more effective?
What about your job makes you want to take the day off?

Foster Connectedness

Fostering connectedness is a great antidote for fatigue. We can get energy from being around other people. Leaders can create connection by building a culture where people get to know each other, celebrate successes, recognize accomplishments, and generously give praise.

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One idea is do a round robin where people share the goals they are working on and you share why they are so important to the team and organization. This not only builds community, but fosters interdependence.

The business world has historically been a conservative place. But we are living through a unique time. We all need to be inclusive and welcome one another with open arms. People will thrive when you make them feel that they truly belong and introduce them to the amazing talents on their team.

Be Caring

Show others you care. Everyone has been affected by the pandemic—and everyone needs some compassion and support.

If someone looks frustrated, request they stay after the meeting and ask: “What’s going on with you? How can I help you? Do you need more direction on anything? How would you like me to support your ideas?”

Leaders can forget to do this when they’re under pressure—or worry they may create additional stress. But that’s not true. As a leader, your caring words will energize and engage.

Take Advantage of Emotional Contagiousness

Emotions are contagious. Here’s an example that proves it.

We all know what it’s like when that certain person walks into a room. You’re laughing with your colleagues, and all of a sudden, the energy is sucked right out of everyone. The part of the brain that recognizes and reacts to these kind of signals moves incredibly quickly and is observing all the time. So how we present ourselves is extremely important.

Each of us has to decide whether we want to be an energy vampire or an energizer. If you’ve read this far, I know you want to be an energizer.

Think about what energizes you. If you’re not sure, look for things that excite you when you talk, when you share, or when you hear an idea that piques your interest.

We need to acknowledge negative emotions so people can let them go, and also embed positive emotions by calling them out and “catching” their positivity. Energy follows focus: to create a high performing, energized team, be sure you are helping your people pay attention to what’s important.

Engage Online Audiences

Online meetings are a breeding ground for disengagement. People easily get bored staring at a screen, so they start multitasking or don’t pay attention. The fact is, people who are online need interactivity every two to three minutes to keep them focused.

Your challenge is to inspire your people to participate so they feel energized when they leave the meeting. A great way to generate interest is to ask “What was your biggest success this week?” After someone shares, ask them how they achieved it. By doing this, you are engaging and empowering speakers.

Chats, breakout rooms, and polls are other effective tactics for engaging virtual learners. A game/contest at the end of a meeting can add spice. You can create a crossword puzzle or hold an impromptu quiz show where your audience tries to stump top performers/leaders. And remember: repetition and engagement are needed if people are to transfer what they learned to the workplace.

Give the Spotlight to Your Top Performers

Have an employee who’s knocking it out of the park? Ask them to share with the team what they’re doing that helps them be so incredibly successful. Let them share their secret sauce.

When you do this, you’ll energize the person who gets to teach. You’ll also give your team a huge gift because they’ll learn how one of their peers is successfully tackling a challenge. Now all of your people will be energized because you have painted a picture of what a good job looks like and had someone show what to do to achieve it.

So there you have it: Lots of tips to fight pandemic fatigue.

We’re passing through extraordinarily difficult times, but we can still bring energy and vitality to the workplace. When you share the gift of connection and engagement with your people, you’ll inspire them and help them thrive.

About the author:

Vicki Halsey is Vice President of Applied Learning for The Ken Blanchard Companies. She is the author of Brilliance by Design, Legendary Service: The Key is to CARE, and Leading at a Higher Level. Vicki is the co-developer of Blanchard’s Legendary Service, and SLII® training programs.

Five Ways to Carry On Through Challenging Times

Ken Blanchard — Thu, 23 Dec 2021 11:45:00 +0000

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A few weeks ago, my colleague Doug Glener wrote a blog regarding the results from our company’s recent survey that involved more than 800 L&D executives, managers, and specialists. We asked them about the biggest challenges they face in designing training for hybrid workers in 2022. We were able to break down their answers into three main themes:

People are overloaded, tired, and “too busy to learn.”
It’s getting more difficult to maintain interpersonal connections.
Virtual/digital designs need to be more effective and engaging.

We know learning and development professionals everywhere have been working hard to address each of these challenges. Thousands of other folks continue the struggle of trying to help their organization recover in different ways from the damage caused by the pandemic. It can be tough to keep a positive attitude.

I was fortunate to work with the late, great Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, author of the mega-bestselling book The Power of Positive Thinking, when he was my coauthor on The Power of Ethical Management. In the book, we introduced five core principles of power that can be easily applied by anyone struggling to cope with today’s world.

Review Your Purpose

The best way to keep yourself on track when facing a problem or challenge is to review your purpose. A person’s life purpose is not the same as a goal—goals have a beginning and an end. Your purpose is ongoing. It keeps you motivated because it’s the life ideal you strive for—your “why.” As an example, my personal life purpose is: “To be a loving teacher and example of simple truths who helps and motivates myself and others to awaken to the presence of God in our lives, so we realize we are here to serve rather than to be served.”

An organization’s purpose is its vision, which is communicated from executive leadership. As I often say, leadership is about going somewhere. Organizations that have a clear and compelling vision know where they are going and how to get there. And people who know their life’s purpose have a reason for staying the course when things get tough.

(By the way, if you don’t have a life purpose and want to create one, check out my blog post Writing Your Personal Life Purpos e.)

Take Pride in Your Accomplishments

My definition of pride isn’t about having a big ego. It’s about believing in yourself and your abilities. It’s the sense of satisfaction you get from a job well done. It’s also the healthy self-esteem you feel when you aim high but are still aware that things may not always go the way you expect. When you believe in yourself, you have the strength to get up and get going again after you fall. And you can help your colleagues develop better feelings about themselves by catching them doing things right and praising their progress.

Cultivate Patience

Since the onset of the pandemic, I’m pretty sure we all know what patience feels like! It’s important to develop the capacity to accept, or at least tolerate, negative and unforeseen aspects of life and work. It’s about trusting that your values and beliefs will prevail in the long term—and that when you give your best effort and do the right thing, even if things are difficult right now, your struggles will pay off in the long run.

Be Persistent

Patience and persistence go hand in hand. Patience can help you get through difficult times, but persistence is essential if you want to keep moving forward toward goal accomplishment. Persistence also keeps you focused on your purpose no matter what is happening around you. It’s about having faith in yourself, honoring commitments, staying the course, keeping your eye on the finish line, and knowing things will get better.

Gaining Some Perspective

Perspective is the most significant of the five principles. It’s the ability to see what is truly important in any given situation. When you lack perspective, you can start feeling and believing that your problems are far more serious than they really are. On the other hand, people who have a good perspective on life can maintain a healthy balance about what is important and what is not.

Gaining perspective can be as simple as taking time every day to assess and reflect on what’s going on in your life and work. You can do it when you first get up, just before going to sleep, or any other time that works for you. Some people pray, others meditate, some write in a journal, some read inspirational quotes. Others practice yoga, listen to classical music, or go for a walk. You can even do a combination of several of these things. There’s no one best way—whatever works for you to quiet your mind and bring you into a reflective state.

I would never attempt to downplay the challenges everyone is facing these days. All I can offer is hope and a few strategies to help you maintain a positive outlook as we all move forward together through this strange time in our lives. So give yourself the gift of reviewing your purpose, taking pride in your accomplishments, cultivating patience, being persistent, and gaining some perspective. It can’t hurt—and I hope it helps!

People Aren’t Stepping Up? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 18 Dec 2021 13:29:40 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I lead a team of seasoned, expert professionals in a fast-growing global company. My boss has told me in no uncertain terms that my biggest priority in the next year is to develop my team and groom a successor.

My biggest obstacle is, although every one of my team members is very good at their job, not a single one of them seems to have any idea how to rise above their day-to-day and see the bigger picture. I’ll give you an example of how this shows up.

I recently gave one of my people—I’ll call her Sharna—the opportunity to present to our executive team, which my boss is part of. It didn’t go well. I laid out the requirements for the presentation, which was two weeks away. I gave her clear direction on what the ET would want to hear about and what and how to think about it going in. I offered as much support as I thought she would need.

The meeting was scheduled for a Monday afternoon. She sent me her initial draft the prior Friday afternoon. I gave her feedback over the weekend and she sent me her final deck a couple of hours before go time.

I knew it wasn’t going to meet the ET’s expectations, but it was so close to the meeting that I thought it would do more harm than good (in terms of her confidence) to get her to make changes at that point. I did provide a few comments and she made some last-minute edits, but there were still typos and some repetition. It wasn’t up to standard at all.

My boss was not happy—and he, quite rightly, blamed me. But Sharna is a seasoned professional and an expert in her field. She had delivered much higher quality work in the past, and I had no reason to think I couldn’t trust her. Did I really need to express to her more clearly how important the presentation was? I thought it was glaringly obvious.

This is just one example. I guess I am expecting all of my people to be able to understand things that I see as self-evident. How do I to get them to think more strategically? I have to somehow get them out of the weeds—but I don’t want to turn them into versions of myself.

My People Are in the Weeds

____________________________________________________________________________

Dear My People Are in the Weeds,

Oh dear, this is a can of worms. Essentially, the leadership competency you need to build is Developing Others. As Stan Slap has said (I am paraphrasing; he is so witty), most leaders would prefer to go where they need to go by themselves and then send a postcard to their people saying “wish you were here”—because it’s so much work and so time consuming to get people to see your vision and help them walk the path you need them to walk! The problem is you simply can’t do it all yourself, which is what your boss is trying to get you to see. You must shift from doing everything yourself to getting things done with and through others.

If your people could see what you see, they would have your job. It sounds like you might suffer from a condition I, too, have, which is that if something is obvious to me, I assume it is obvious to everyone else. Big mistake.

So you and your people all need to develop some new skills. On top of the 24/7 scrum of day-to-day work, it feels like a lot. Because it is.

For you, this will mean getting crystal clear about your expectations. And don’t stop repeating them until you see evidence that each person not only understands them but also has a plan to figure out how to meet them.

This will require patience and diligence on your part. Expect it to be tedious. You are addressing people who have been successful their entire careers because of their subject matter expertise and their ability to get things done. You are asking them to think differently and step out of their comfort zone, which takes practice. And it is scary for people when they are asked to try new things they know they aren’t good at.

To help them think bigger picture, your people need to understand what the executive leadership team is thinking about, their immediate concerns, the problems they are trying to solve, and the threats they see coming at the organization that are keeping them up at night. If your CEO is not sharing all of that intel regularly, it really is your job to relay anything you know to your team. The more you do that on a regular basis, the more your people will develop the habit of paying attention to how their job connects to the bigger picture. You just cannot expect them to tear their eyeballs away from their day-to-day tasks and look to the horizon unless you are directing their gaze there.

Regarding the presentation, I agree that the lack of thoughtfulness and preparation was clearly not where it needed to be. We all know that there is simply no substitute for preparation and time to iterate and practice. You might just get curious and check in with Sharna with some questions. Something along the lines of: “What happened? I expected more preparation and for you to allow time for iteration and you came in hot. Is there something going on I should know about?”

Is it possible she has an issue with presentation skills? Subject matter expertise is critical, of course, but taking into consideration who is in the audience, what they need to take away from the presentation, and how they prefer to consume information is a whole skill in itself. You might turn her on to the work of Nancy Duarte, who helps people master the art of using data to tell a story and shape information so that it connects to their chosen audience. She has multiple excellent books and workshops.

I hear your concern about not wanting to micromanage people so they simply parrot what you want them to say. I have heard this from many leaders. But here’s the thing: If people knew how to do what you want them to do, they would be doing it. So be specific about what you want, teach them if you have to, and stay alongside them until they can fly solo. They are still going to be themselves and bring their own strengths to the party as they get more comfortable with the task. Don’t worry about turning people into mini-me’s – it won’t happen, I promise.

You are obviously a pro, a high achiever, and a hard worker. You can do this if you think it is important enough.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

L&D Alert: Least Effective Training Reinforcement Strategies Among Most Commonly Used

David Witt — Tue, 14 Dec 2021 21:04:04 +0000

As a part of The Ken Blanchard Companies’ 2022 HR / L&D Trends Survey, respondents were asked to rank the effectiveness of various training reinforcement strategies. Email Reminders/Newsletters, currently the most used practice for reinforcing training content, was rated in the bottom third when it came to perceived impact.

That’s not a big surprise to Ann Rollins, a solutions architect with The Ken Blanchard Companies.

“Most companies employ newsletters and email as the number one way to reinforce learning,” says Rollins, “even though they know having managers hold learners accountable is the best method.

“Including different people in the organization requires more mindshare, but we know it pays off. If you’re not engaging organizational leaders in this way, you’re leaving money on the table.”

Rollins also suggests focusing on two important aspects of the learner experience (LX) when thinking about reinforcement strategies.

“In the case of leadership development, leaders need both a mindset shift and skills. If you don’t take the time to set the context and get to the mindset of the leader, you’re just teaching them to fight fires. The challenge is how to deliver both in tandem. That’s where good LX design comes in.”

Rollins recommends that L&D professionals take a marketer’s approach and build a learning content funnel that starts with awareness at the top, knowledge in the middle, and skill development at the bottom of the funnel.

“At the top of the funnel, we might place a brief article on challenging assumed constraints. For the learner who wants to learn more, we would provide some additional resources.

“From there, the learner could access a collection of assets that layers on, builds, and extends the learning experience—it’s going from a first blush to dipping their toe into the middle stage of the funnel. If the learner wants some additional skill development and tools, they can sign up for a 90-minute session that is very specific to challenging assumed constraints, which is the bottom of the funnel.

“This is the opt-in approach. We use curated content to generate interest. And when people want to learn more, they have a clear path to a short-form, virtual experience and then a deeper dive option to get the tools they need.”

Would you like to learn more about best practices in design and reinforcement? Join Ann Rollins for a webinar on December 15: Designing Effective Learning Experiences for a Hybrid Work Environment

Rollins will share strategies and techniques for successfully navigating the challenges of learning design in a time when people are fatigued with virtual life, fighting distractions, balancing priorities, and constantly multitasking. Use this link to learn more. The event is free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Making an Impact with Liz Wiseman

Vicki Stanford — Thu, 09 Dec 2021 11:47:00 +0000

Have you noticed that some people in your organization can be counted on in critical situations to consistently deliver a stellar performance? These people seem to play the game at a higher level. Liz Wiseman calls them Impact Players. In her latest book, Impact Players: How to Take the Lead, Play Bigger, and Multiply Your Impact, Wiseman explains what these people are doing differently to offer peak performance.

Based on the kind of extensive research we’ve come to expect from Wiseman, she identifies five ways Impact Players are different from other people.

While others do their job, Impact Players figure out the real job to be done.
While others wait for direction, Impact Players step up and lead.
While others escalate problems, Impact Players move results across the finish line.
While others attempt to minimize change, Impact Players learn and adapt to change.
While others add to the load, Impact Players make heavy demands feel lighter.

Furthermore, Wiseman reports that when leaders offer a little coaching, all employees can develop the mindset they need to begin to contribute their best. The book includes 25 stories of top performers in action that will inspire you—and make Wiseman’s book impossible to put down.

For more information about Liz Wiseman, visit www.thewisemangroup.com

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Liz Wiseman, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today.

Planning for 2022? Think About Who, Not What

Britney Cole — Thu, 02 Dec 2021 14:35:22 +0000

As I think about what it means to wrap up this year, I reflect on the goals I set for myself and my team and celebrate the progress I’ve made personally and professionally. (As an example, my 40^th year has been my best yet! If you want to know more, feel free to send me an email and I will share how shame has lost its grip on me.)

While looking back on what I’ve learned is certainly useful (I’ve learned a lot), I also realize that I need to open the aperture and think about the future. What goals shall I set in 2022? What should I prioritize for my team? With that, I add planning sessions with each of my team members in which we will create development plans, talk career, and dream big—even for a moment—before the new year hits and we are all back at work executing, checking things off, and making what we hope will be a meaningful difference in the world.

So, as a learning professional who cultivates the leadership and human skills needed to create an empathetic, inclusive, and high-performing workforce, what is your priority as you shift your focus to 2022? Really, it should be just one thing: your people. Just them. Not the solution, not the platform, content, technology, or modality.

Often when we think of priorities, we start to list out initiatives such as:

We need a new leadership development program
We must increase engagement in our learning platform
We need to re-evaluate our content strategy so it’s more micro
We must create a coaching culture
We need to include more simulations to engage our audience

Every item above is likely a worthy pursuit—but in the current way it’s framed, each one becomes about the solution, not the humans we are desiring to impact. When we focus only on the what, we tend to lose sight of our ultimate goal, which can cause us to design and build something that misses the mark.

For example, there is huge value in re-evaluating a content strategy, but why is it necessary? What outcomes are you trying to achieve? How does a content strategy actually have meaningful impact on your audience? If you create short videos, podcasts, and interactive content without really understanding who is going to consume them and what value they’ll provide, you are simply generating more content for a platform no one touches.

So instead of listing your goals from a solution perspective, try to reframe them from the perspective of the individuals you want to impact. When you start with who and keep people at the center, you may rethink your solution. For instance:

Voluntary separations are increasing. Exit interviews indicate our leaders’ inability to build trust is a root cause. How might we help our leaders understand their role in engaging and retaining our best talent?

The solution could be a leadership development program, but it could also be an initiative where data shares and targets select individuals for coaching.
The solution could be an organization-wide focus on trust, including the behaviors people need to demonstrate to build trust with others.
The solution could be an acknowledgement from senior leaders that all the change in the past two years has shifted our focus away from our people, prompting every leader in the organization to have re-engagement conversations with each of their people.

When the solution becomes about people and the outcomes you want to achieve, you’ll start seeing more energy from your team members. People are better able to connect the work they are doing to a purpose that is inspirational and meaningful.

So this year, first reflect on and celebrate the progress and the impact you have made on the lives of the people around you. Now pivot to the future and identify the individuals you want to have an effect on in the coming year. Then—and only then—determine the solution.

2022 Learning and Development Trends: 3 Key Insights

Doug Glener — Tue, 23 Nov 2021 14:30:00 +0000

What’s keeping L&D professionals awake at night? How has the pandemic affected our ability to learn? What awaits in 2022?

We asked these questions to 800+ L&D professionals in an October 2021 survey. Jay Campbell, senior vice president of product development, and David Witt, program director, analyzed the data.

They arrived at three key insights:

People are overloaded, tired, and “too busy to learn”
The level of connection is dropping
L&D is stretched and dissatisfied with the converted offerings

Campbell shared the findings in a November webinar. Here’s a summary of them.

Insight #1—People are overloaded, tired, and “too busy to learn”

People are exhausted and professional development has suffered because of it—that is the key takeaway from the survey findings. Here are some comments by survey respondents that support this:

“Understaffed and overworked. With our team on scattered hybrid schedules, team members are doing extra work.”

“Burned out leaders who are struggling to effectively manage hybrid teams.”

“Feelings of overwhelm and anxiety seem to be crippling our ability to get and stay focused enough to identify what learning is actually needed, learn, and apply learning.”

Respondents’ comments reflect the depth of distress across the country. About four in ten adults in the U.S. have reported symptoms of anxiety or depressive disorder during the pandemic, compared to one in ten adults who reported these symptoms from January to June 2019.”[1]

Our mental state effects our ability to learn. Someone in the throes of anxiety or depression will struggle to incorporate new information. With the country in the midst of a pandemic, leaders at all organizations are fighting to meet their daily responsibilities and setting professional growth to the side—something L&D professionals have witnessed.

Longer workdays is another culprit behind our weary state. The average workday lengthened by 48.5 minutes in the weeks following stay-at-home orders and lockdowns across the U.S. in March.[2]

The weight of the pandemic, psychological distress, longer hours at work—it’s no surprise that L&D professionals say that their people feel overloaded, tired, and “too busy to learn.”

Theme #2—The level of connection is dropping

An organization’s culture is like a tapestry. It is a weaving together of relationships based on shared values and norms.

The pandemic is starting to unravel organizational cultures.

“The tapestry is fraying. It’s weakening our feelings of social cohesion and teamwork. It’s disconcerting to see this happening,” noted Campbell.

Comments from survey respondents echo Campbell’s insight:

“Learning how to be more connected when some are here some of the time, some are never here, and others are here all the time.”

“Emotional disconnection, loneliness and lack of purpose…people are on a lone journey with little support and feeling very vulnerable.”

“Weak relationships due to working remote”

Third-party data provides additional evidence of the phenomenon. An analysis of emails, calendars, instant messages, video/audio calls, and workweek hours of 61,182 US Microsoft employees over the first six months of 2020 found “a decrease in synchronous communication and an increase in asynchronous communication.”[3]

What does that really mean?

“We are connecting less frequently, working in silos, and have smaller networks. The computer screen is the only place where we do connect. Isolation is the emotional state of the moment. It’s a strong word, but it’s the right one. At the same time, though, people like the flexibility of remote work, which has so many benefits,” Campbell shared. “We are all in the middle of a huge experiment.”

Theme #3—L&D stretched and dissatisfied with converted offerings

When the pandemic struck, L&D professionals leaped into the breech and converted face-to-face offerings into virtual ones. Yet, they are dissatisfied with what they accomplished in 2022.

“L&D professionals all share a difficult challenge: converting a growing backlog of material to virtual delivery while lacking the resources to do it. And not knowing how to make the material engaging. This is a pressing need, but many are struggling to meet the challenges of the day,” said Campbell.

Learner engagement is another pervasive problem. Findings in the survey bolster this. In fact, some 59% of respondents said more learner engagement is needed in their virtual and digital designs, with concerns about ‘engagement’ appearing in one out of six responses across this large population.

Take a deeper dive into the findings of our L&D Trends for 2022. Watch the webinar here.

[1] https://www.kff.org/coronavirus-covid-19/issue-brief/the-implications-of-covid-19-for-mental-health-and-substance-use/#:~:text=During%20the%20pandemic%2C%20about%204,June%202019%20(Figure%201)

[2] https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2020/08/04/remote-work-longer-days/

[3] https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-021-01196-4

Give Yourself a Minute to Think with Juliet Funt

Vicki Stanford — Tue, 16 Nov 2021 23:57:34 +0000

Do you ever feel like you just need a minute? A minute to yourself—between calls, Zoom meetings, and appointments—to catch your breath? Juliet Funt believes giving ourselves permission to take that minute might just be the element that’s missing in our lives right now. In her new book, A Minute to Think: Reclaim Creativity, Conquer Busyness, and Do Your Best Work, Funt offers readers a framework and specific direction for taking control of their time.

Funt claims the global workforce of today is so fried that it belongs in the food court of a county fair! She argues that three a.m. insomnia should not be the only time we have to think. We must all learn to create white space in our calendars—time not only for a meal away from the desk and a bio break, but also a few minutes to breathe, look around, and move. Just like a fire needs space between the combustibles to ignite and keep burning, the human body needs space to fortify and sustain itself.

Funt provides tips for regaining control of your workday, liberating yourself from busywork, reclaiming creativity and focus, taming the beast that is email, escaping the mire of meetings, and finding your precious minute to think. Based on years of research and client work, she shares stories of people just like you and me who didn’t think they could get things under control again—but have.

For more information about Juliet Funt, visit www.julietfunt.com

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Juliet Funt, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today.

Creating Psychological Safety with Randy Conley

Vicki Stanford — Thu, 11 Nov 2021 14:05:45 +0000

“Five areas contribute to creating a psychologically safe environment in the workplace,” says Randy Conley, expert on building and maintaining trust. He joined Chad Gordon on a recent episode of the Blanchard LeaderChat podcast to discuss the importance of creating psychological safety.

Conley defines psychological safety as the beliefs individuals have about how others will respond when they are vulnerable and put themselves on the line. He describes the five most important areas to consider:

Leader Behavior. Leaders are always being watched; they set the example of preferred behaviors. In addition to being available and approachable, leaders must not only explicitly invite input and feedback but also model openness and fallibility.
Group Dynamics. Team members tend to assume certain roles, such as the “father figure” who offers sage advice, the “favorite” who can do no wrong, or even the “black sheep” who tends to stir up trouble. The interplay of these roles creates the group dynamics that will either encourage or inhibit psychological safety within the team.
Practice Fields. This term was coined by Peter Senge and described by him as one of the hallmarks of a learning organization. Just as sports teams, pilots, and even surgeons practice and work on skill improvement prior to the game, flight, or surgery, organizations need to create an environment where it is safe to learn and make mistakes without fear of being penalized.
Trust and Respect. Supportive, trusting relationships promote psychological safety. When team members and leaders are respected, individuals are willing to be vulnerable and take risks. A lack of respect shuts down communication and innovation.
Supportive Organizational Context. It is the responsibility of the organization to give employees access to resources and information to help them perform at their best. Working in a “need to know” environment creates suspicion, tension, and stress. Helping people feel safe creates a healthy, ethical culture where everyone can thrive.

Conley advises us all: “Don’t underestimate the personal influence you can have within your own team and the organization. Psychological safety starts with each one of us.”

To hear more from Conley’s interview, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today.

Does Your Team Know Who You Are as a Leader?

Ken Blanchard — Thu, 21 Oct 2021 12:58:40 +0000

If you ask some people how they feel about their boss as a leader, they might say “It depends on what day it is.” Some leaders’ moods and behaviors are subject to things as random as their morning commute, the day’s financials, or whether they skipped breakfast. They can be relaxed and pleasant one day and snarling the next. I once worked with a company where a few managers who reported to a vice president confided in me that they never knew which version of the boss was going to appear. Sometimes the VP would be fun and other times he would attack. The managers even took bets on which one of them was going to trigger his wrath that day! Sound familiar?

When leaders show up in different ways on different days, direct reports can’t help but be confused. They don’t know what to expect from their leader or what their leader expects from them. This can be detrimental not only for the workers, but also for the leaders and their organizations in terms of employee retention—especially now during the “Great Resignation.” In fact, studies show that less than half of employees don’t know what is expected of them—and 75% of workers say the most stressful aspect of their job is their immediate boss.

A Proven Approach for Leadership Success

In his book The Leadership Engine, Noel Tichy proves through his extensive research that the most effective leaders have a clear, teachable point of view they are willing to share with the people they work with. These leaders know what to expect from themselves and their people so that, together, they and their organizations can succeed.

My wife, Margie, and I realized that leaders who identified and shared their leadership point of view had a crystal clear picture of their intentions as a leader. We were so fascinated with this approach that, along with our company cofounder Pat Zigarmi, we created a course called “Communicating Your Leadership Point of View” and teach it as part of the Master of Science in Executive Leadership degree program at the University of San Diego.

Determining Your Leadership Point of View

When reflecting on and composing your own leadership point of view, focus on these three elements:

Think of key people and events that have influenced your life and your beliefs about leadership
Identify and define your values in terms of your leadership
Detail your expectations of yourself and of others, as well as what others can expect of you

It’s important to take your time with this exercise. As you write, think of the effect sharing your leadership beliefs, values, and expectations will have on your people—how they will feel knowing you care enough to share your feelings about yourself as a leader. Good leadership is a side-by-side partnership. Communicating your leadership point of view to your team members gives them a sense of connection with you because it clarifies the leader you endeavor to be.

Following Up is Crucial

This point may seem obvious, but I believe it needs to be emphasized: great leaders must walk their talk.

After you share your leadership point of view, your people will be watching to see whether your behavior matches your words. Get ahead of this by giving them permission to give you feedback. After all, you have just finished telling them who you really want to be as a leader—now show them. Let them know you are accountable and want your actions to align with your values. Say something like “Now I need to ask you for your help. Even though I strive to achieve these standards every day, I sometimes fall short. Anytime you see me diverting from the behaviors I’ve just described, let me know. Your honest feedback will help me be more consistent in my leadership style so that I can be the leader you need me to be.”

Sharing your leadership story means your people won’t have to guess how you will show up each morning. You have stated in your own words the kind of leader you want to be and have given them permission to hold you accountable. It’s a powerful way to define and demonstrate your leadership style, to instill trust, confidence, and loyalty in your team members, and to strengthen your own feelings about yourself as a leader.

What’s your leadership legacy? How do you want to be seen as a leader? How do you want to be remembered? Your leadership point of view is something only you can give. It’s your signature—your unique perspective on leadership. Let your people know who you are.

Editor’s Note: Looking for more information on the Leadership Point of View process? Visit the Leadership Point Of View information page on the Blanchard website.

A Look Inside the Leadership Point of View Experience

Doug Glener — Tue, 19 Oct 2021 12:49:24 +0000

In a perfect world, your leaders are inspiring, people know how to succeed, and everyone is engaged. In the real world, leaders are a source of tension, people aren’t sure what to do, and employees are disengaged.

A few distressing facts show how dysfunctional the typical office is

75% of workers say the most stressful aspect of their job is their immediate boss_[1]
54% of workers are “not engaged” and 14% of workers are “actively disengaged”_[2]
50% of employees don’t know what is expected of them_[3]

Leaders not understanding either their leadership points of view or how they affect others is a cause of these troubles.

Most leaders haven’t taken the time to reflect on their leadership values or how they want to lead. Because of this, direct reports have little insight into a leader’s motivations. This can leave them confused by their leader’s actions and suspicious of their intentions. Misunderstanding, lack of trust, and disengagement quickly follow.

But you can create a dynamic workplace with Leadership Point of View (LPOV): a transformative learning experience that takes leaders on a journey of self-understanding.

LPOV helps your leaders identify experiences that shaped how they lead. Blanchard coaches assist them in developing a compelling narrative that turns these pivotal events into a leadership story. Leaders then share their journey with their colleagues.

Sharing a Leadership Point of View is a deeply personal experience that wins the hearts of listeners. By being vulnerable, leaders reveal themselves and their leadership philosophy. People gain a new perspective of their leader and a better understanding of their motivations. A leader is freed to be more authentic and inspiring. Their people find a renewed commitment to working with them.

Several Blanchard leaders recently participated in the LPOV. We asked them to share their experiences.

What was your biggest challenge before sharing your LPOV?

Lindsay Ray, Senior Director of Client Services: Before discovering my LPOV, I had never taken the time to dig deep and really consider what life experiences have defined how I lead today. I get stuck in the trap of thinking “there is nothing that interesting about me,” so I had to do some real reflection. I felt a bit nervous and unsure about what the outcome would be.

Diana Johnson Urbina, Head of Coaching Services: I tend to be action oriented. I make fast decisions, with the intent to test each idea. It’s rarely a final decision when I make one. Some of my people were struggling to believe this. They perceived me as dictating how things should be done, and I never intended them to feel this way. I was disappointed to learn that some had made these assumptions and I was frustrated with the resulting dynamics on my team.

Richard Pound, Vice President of Indirect Sales: People knew me, but didn’t know how I became the person I am. Sometimes, they didn’t understand why I considered something important. That could be frustrating to me and those that I work with.

What was your LPOV experience like?

Richard Pound: It was a discovery experience. I say “discover,” as your LPOV is already inside you, but the process I went through helped me surface, clarify, and articulate what is important to me as a leader. It helped me understand my core personal values and share the events in my life that have shaped me as a person and as a leader.

It was a very safe, supportive, and rewarding experience—and a challenging one because I had really dig deep to explore the experiences that made me who I am.

Diana Johnson Urbina: The experience I had with my coach was wonderful. It felt like a chat with an old friend about how I came to be the leader I am today. I was given an opportunity to share how my experiences shaped me and what I value. I was able to draw a clear line between my values and expectations.

Lindsay Ray: It gave my colleagues a frame of reference about me that they never would have had otherwise. It put language to my values, and gave me something to refer back to, especially when things at work are challenging.

What changed after sharing your LPOV?

Diana Johnson Urbina: Everyone was so appreciative that I was willing to share and be so open and vulnerable. It helped them connect with me. Some of my team members who were guarded became more open and felt more comfortable with my leadership approach. I asked them, “Given my values and expectations, where are we aligned and where are we at odds? How can we navigate the gaps we have?” They felt comfortable to answer honestly.

Lindsay Ray: My people reacted very positively! Everyone was supportive, asked great questions, and was genuinely interested in learning more about me and my story. We felt closer because of it. Some of the stories I had shared only with the people close to me, so it was a big step to share them professionally.

Richard Pound: My team had a better understanding of what to expect from me. They also knew what I would expect of them. This deeper understanding was extremely valuable. My people also really appreciated me showing that kind of vulnerability.

Sharing my key values was also helpful. People understood why I do what I do, and why I am what I am.

Because my people now had a much better understanding of my priorities, they are more committed to accomplishing things I consider important. I feel empowered to be a better leader. And being a better leader improves the lives of the people you lead.

Anything else you’d like to share?

Richard Pound: This has been an invaluable discovery process for me, and I see the real impact that it has had on the way that we work as a team. Going through the LPOV process with my work colleagues was also very rewarding. I learned more about them and built deeper relationships.

Lindsay Ray: It was thoughtful, deep, and inspiring to hear the story of others. Overall it was a wonderful experience!

Diana Johnson Urbina: To sum up the impact it had,it improved psychological safety for my team. It gave them permission to be real. Now we all operate at a much more authentic and appreciative level.

How about you?

Ready to start your leaders on their journey of self-discovery with Leadership Point of View? Visit the LPOV information page on the Blanchard website. Interested in learning more about the LPOV process from a first-hand experience? Join us for a complimentary webinar on October 20, Creating and Sharing Your Leadership Point of View. The event is free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies.

[1] https://www.mckinsey.com/business-functions/organization/our-insights/the-boss-factor-making-the-world-a-better-place-through-workplace-relationships

[2] https://www.gallup.com/workplace/313313/historic-drop-employee-engagement-follows-record-rise.aspx

[3] fastcompany.com/90679528/i-spoke-to-5000-people-and-these-are-the-real-reasons-theyre-quitting

“Mean Girls” Team Running Amok? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 09 Oct 2021 11:24:18 +0000

office shoot

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Dear Madeleine,

I manage a small group of what we call WMS professionals—Website Marketing Specialists. They all work remotely, and the group has developed into an extremely effective team.

I am very proud of our work; together we have found a way to really add value to sales and to the company. Taken individually, each woman (the team is all female, totally randomly) is delightful, professional, and easy to work with.

My problem is that, together, they fan the flames of their worst instincts, and—there is no other way to say it—they are a group of “mean girls.” I have gotten several complaints; from other marketing teams, from salespeople, even from our service representatives, who are responsible for serving the contracts when we land them.

On our weekly team calls, the WMS women talk smack about other people in the company. They have nothing nice to say about anyone. As a group, they send out rude emails when colleagues don’t do things the way they think things should be done. Several have been forwarded to me with “WTH” and multiple question marks.

On a recent call with our head of sales—who is my boss—they were goofing around in the chat and paying no attention at all to the presentation. I was amazed—this was their boss’s boss. He mentioned that he noticed it and was put off. It was just straight up bad behavior that none of these women would tolerate from their children, let alone colleagues.

I don’t want to de-motivate anyone by criticizing, but the reputation of the team is starting to suffer and undermine our excellent work. I need to do something; I just don’t know what. Where would you start?

Mean Girls Running Amok

_________________________________________________________________________

Dear Mean Girls Running Amok,

Although the Mean Girl reference made me laugh, I would argue that you have a slightly different problem. A little research on the Mean Girl phenomenon revealed that the term defines the behavior as “relational aggression” or using friendship as weapon. So, if a couple of bullies on the team were terrorizing one of its members, that would technically be a Mean Girl situation. The good news here is that you have a powerful intact team versus a potentially trickier situation, where some of the women on the team are ganging up on other team members. The bad news, of course, is that your team has closed ranks against other teams. I would describe your phenomenon as one where a team has formed such a strong, even tribal bond and feels so great about itself that it sets itself apart, above and beyond other teams and others in the organization. This is the dark side of strong team bonding. You may think I am splitting hairs here, but I believe the distinction is important. Plus, most adult women would object to being called girls, regardless of the context.

You are right not to criticize—the last thing you want is for your team to gang up on you, which is a very real risk. But you must have the hard conversation—with the whole team. If there is clear ringleader, you might be tempted to start with her. But that could backfire by undermining the cohesion of the group—which you want to continue to maximize. So that means having the conversation with the whole group. For that you will want a model for how to have a challenging conversation, and my favorite one comes from Conversational Capacity by Craig Webber.

Blanchard’s Conversational Capacity program defines conversational capacity as the ability of an individual or a team to engage in open, balanced, non-defensive dialogue about difficult subjects and in challenging circumstances. It is also the sweet spot where innovation happens.

Craig says that to get yourself into the right mindset, you need to find the sweet spot between minimizing behaviors and winning behaviors. Minimizing in your case might sound like: “Hey team, I think we have a pattern that might be hurting us,” while winning might sound like: “Team, you are all behaving badly, and you need to fix it or else.” You are going to want to find that sweet spot between the two that might sound something like: “Team, I have observed some behaviors—and have gotten feedback from others—that some things being done are tarnishing our reputation and undermining our great work. I want to share those with you and think through together what we might do differently.”

You will want to strike a balance between candor and curiosity. You can rely on candor to outline the problem as you see it and the potential negative consequences you all face. Then, you can apply your curiosity to understand the underlying reasons for the damaging behaviors and really hear all points of view on the topic. Craig says we can achieve this balance by:

Stating our clear position
Explaining the underlying thinking that informs our position
Testing our perspective
Inquiring into the perspective of others. (pg. 78)

Some sample inquiries might be:

How do you guys see this situation?
What is your take on this?
What is your reaction to what I have just laid out?
Does what you are hearing sound like the way you want to be perceived as a team?

There is a good chance that some members of your team will be appalled and embarrassed, and you will need to be okay with that. You will also need to be okay with the person who minimizes by getting defensive and claiming that people are too sensitive and should get over themselves.

Once you have gotten some input and allowed your team reflect a little, you will have to make an official request for a change in behavior. You may be able to lean on the company values, if they exist. In our company we have a value we call Kenship (I know, isn’t it adorable?), which is defined as: “We value Ken [Blanchard]’s spirit of compassion, humility, and abundance. Kenship describes a sense of connectedness, a commitment to serve others, and a desire to have fun.” We also have the value Trustworthiness, which is described as: “We do the right thing. We are fair and ethical and do what we say we’re going to do.” Values like these make it easy to call out behaviors that are not aligned and help to keep the conversation objective. If your company doesn’t have stated values, now might be the time to craft a team charter, working together to define team values that will serve to guide everyone’s conduct moving forward. You obviously have a lot going for you already, so this could be a great way to develop the team into something even better.

Trashing everyone outside of the team is a way for the team to build connection; it is a habit the group has formed together. It is also a form of unhealthy entertainment. The key will be to help them shape new, good habits to replace the old bad habits, while continuing to nurture their connection.

What you can’t do is nothing. It is up to you to work with your team to repair the damage that has been done and lead them to become a team whose success is celebrated across the whole organization. It sounds like your team members are all fundamentally good and decent people. Once they see their dysfunctional behaviors reflected back to them, they will probably be willing to change. Lead on!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

How to Leverage Change in Your Organization with Jake Jacobs

Vicki Stanford — Tue, 21 Sep 2021 10:46:00 +0000

If you’re frustrated that change efforts in your organization are taking too long, are too difficult, or are too often ineffective, this book is for you. Leading change expert Jake Jacobs shares eight failsafe ways to make any change initiative successful in his latest book, Leverage Change: 8 Ways to Achieve Faster, Easier, Better Results.

Jacobs explains that leverage is about getting more done with fewer hassles, headaches, and problems. It is important to leverage change instead of just managing it. He defines the eight levers as:

Pay Attention to Continuity—Don’t focus solely on the change; remind people what will stay the same so they have something to build on.
Think and Act as if the Future Were Now—Make a plan but don’t get stuck in the planning phase. Move to implementation quickly.
Design it Yourself—Don’t rely on what worked for another company; chart your own course of action to meet your unique challenges.
Create a Common Database—Share information widely so people at all levels have enough data to make wise decisions that will positively impact change.
Start with Impact, Follow the Energy—Start your work where you will have the biggest positive impact, then share that success to build energy for the entire initiative.
Develop a Future People Want to Call Their Own—Make sure every individual, team, and department understands specifically what the change means to them so they can be committed to the change.
Find Opportunities for People to Make a Meaningful Difference—Encourage people to look beyond what has always been done in the past to explore new, different, and better ways to get the job done.
Make Change Work Part of Daily Work—Change is constant, so don’t think of it as something to do in addition to your job. Make it part of the daily routine.

Jacobs explains how to apply each of these levers and includes a list of success criteria to consider as well. The book includes 44 case studies to show how companies put these levers into action. It’s truly a guidebook for making change an easier process for everyone.

For more information about Jake Jacobs, visit www.jakejacobsconsulting.com

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Jake Jacobs, listen to the Leaderchat podcast and subscribe today.

Values Drive Results with Robert “Bo” Brabo

Vicki Stanford — Thu, 22 Jul 2021 11:15:00 +0000

Robert “Bo” Brabo learned early in his military career that values drive results. Committing fully to admirable organizational values up, down, and across the organization, every day and in every way, is a powerful formula for success. In his latest book, From the Battlefield to the White House to the Boardroom, Brabo shares examples of how values-based leadership in the military, government, for-profit, and not-for-profit sectors has led to success.

The book is full of practical lessons and inspiring case studies to help leaders and aspiring leaders develop, embrace, and strengthen a values-based approach to leading people, projects, and organizations. The keys are to make sure your behaviors are in alignment with your values and to focus on your team members and colleagues. Brabo believes when you help people tackle their problems as if they were your own, you form a partnership that creates a culture of trust and leads to success. This level of commitment to helping people reach their goals is the ultimate example of servant leadership.

Brabo challenges you to have the courage it takes to be a values-based leader—and introduces steps you can follow to make values-based leadership a reality.

For more information about Robert “Bo” Brabo, visit www.robertbrabo.com

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Bo Brabo, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today.

60 and Can’t Find Work? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 10 Jul 2021 10:45:00 +0000

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Dear Madeleine,

I am sixty years old and really love my work. I have had a long and varied career and had hoped to get another decade in before retiring. The institution I worked for closed down for good last year because of COVID. Since then, I have sent out 72 cover letters and resumes. (I have kept track, just in case you think I am exaggerating.)

I have been to the final interview stage three times—in one case, it was a seven-hour Zoom panel interview. Still nothing. I have also received radio silence after three or four in-depth interviews. I can’t figure out what is going on. Maybe I am overqualified—or are people seeing me as just too old?

I have enough savings to get me through until my social security kicks in, but that would be tight and I really want to work. All I hear is that businesses can’t find employees, and here I am, desperate to work.

I just don’t know what to do. I am getting really blue about this. Any thoughts are appreciated.

Discouraged

_________________________________________________________________________

Dear Discouraged,

Hi! Boy, this really does sound disheartening. A couple of caveats first. I am not technically qualified as a career coach or counselor, so this is just me using common sense and coaching principles. Perhaps a qualified career counselor will have some good advice to add in the comments.

I don’t know what industry you are in, so I am a little in the dark—but my first thought was DON’T GIVE UP. Just don’t. The perfect job is out there waiting for you and if you give up, it won’t find you.

Here are some other thoughts:

Involve your network: Does every single person you know know that you are looking for a job? Everyone you have ever worked with? Friends of friends? The wider the circle of folks who know you are looking, the better the chance of a lead coming your way. Make sure your social media profiles are up to date and follow places you might get hired. Get on LinkedIn, respond to posts, and follow interesting feeds.

Refine your presentation: Your resume is sparking interest, so that’s great. It sounds like you might be doing or saying something in your interviews that is not working for you. Maybe record your next few Zoom interviews so you can watch them and see. Maybe have a friend take a look. There is nothing quite like watching yourself on video to notice something you might not catch otherwise. I hate watching myself on video, but boy, it sure is eye opening.

Your frustration at how long and hard your search has taken might be bleeding into the way you are showing up. Who could blame you? But you can’t let that happen. It won’t attract what you want.

Have you gone back to the places where you got to the final interview stage and asked for feedback? You may very well be perceived as overqualified, but you won’t know until you ask. I am always a little surprised when people we don’t hire don’t ask for feedback. I think it is the least hiring managers can do for folks who have invested a lot of time. It’s almost never personal—often more related to fit than anything else.

When you know you have an interview lined up, maybe do more research on the company—their values, their strategic goals—and shape your answers so it is clear you have done your research.

You now know what the questions are. Maybe have a friend conduct a mock interview with you and really tighten and sharpen your responses.

Stay active and involved: Everywhere I go I see Help Wanted signs, so I wonder if you might not consider just getting a job until your dream job appears, just to get you out of the house and doing something, bringing in a little cash. Volunteer, wait tables, work retail, post on Task Rabbit to put IKEA furniture together (my daughter did that her first couple of years out of college, it is her super-power) – anything to just get some movement and not be stuck at home, staring at your computer screen.

I am just shocked that people wouldn’t even send you an email or something after so many interviews. That just seems rude to me. But you can’t let it get you down. Okay, you can let it get you down, but don’t let it stop you. Just don’t quit! That is recipe for depression.

Good luck to you!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

The Difference Between Employees and Employee Culture with Stan Slap

Vicki Stanford — Thu, 17 Jun 2021 10:45:00 +0000

First released in 2015, Under the Hood: Fire Up and Fine-Tune Your Employee Culture by Stan Slap offers a message to leaders that is even more important in today’s work environment. Slap indicates that if you really want your business to operate at maximum performance, you need to understand the critical difference between your employees and your employee culture.

Unfortunately, employee culture is one of the least understood concepts for leaders to embrace. Slap’s comprehensive research shows that leaders who do understand it are able to energize their workforce and build loyalty even through difficult times. He provides specific steps managers and leaders can put into practice immediately to improve employee culture.

The first part is to recognize that employee culture is a viable living organism with its own purpose, beliefs, and rules. It has the power to make or break any plans management wants to put into place. Leaders who learn to serve that organism service the organization as a whole. Part of that is treating people with the honor and respect they are entitled to, regardless of their position in the hierarchy.

As Slap says, “Be human first and a manager second.”

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Stan Slap, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today.

To hear Stan Slap and Blanchard thought leaders talk about employee culture and the currently changing work environment, join us for a complimentary, five-part webinar series on Returning to the Workplace: Exploring a Hybrid Model. Register for any single event—or all five—using this link: https://www.kenblanchard.com/Events-Workshops/Returning-to-Workplace-Series.

Boss Won’t Help You Prioritize? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 12 Jun 2021 10:45:00 +0000

Dear Madeleine,

I am an EVP of sales in an organization that is growing insanely fast. I have a brand new Chief Sales Officer and my regional counterpart just quit—so I have gone from four direct reports leading 300 people to seven direct reports leading 700 people.

I would have thought my number one job would be to make sure everyone is on track with their quotas—but, as it turns out, no. I mean yes, but in addition to my new boss being hell-bent on my getting everyone to quota, I have to complete 27 projects. I am not kidding. I sat down over the weekend to create thumbnail project plans for each project and there are literally 27.

I tried to talk her out of my needing to complete all 27, and to get her to prioritize them—you know, the 80/20 rule—but she just waved her hand and said: “You are such a rock star; I know you will figure this out.”

I am so overwhelmed, I don’t even know where to start. Everyone is barely keeping up as it is because there has been so much change in the organization. I can’t even begin to imagine how we are going to get everything done.

Any thoughts will be appreciated. I think …

My Boss is Nuts

____________________________________________________________________

Dear My Boss is Nuts,

Well, she might be. Or, more likely, she is just very green. She is making the classic rookie error of so many who want to make a splash when they hit the C-Suite: too much, too soon, too fast.

If your new CSO is like any other in a fast-growing organization, she is probably being driven by a relentless CEO who is being driven by an uncompromising board and very vocal investors or shareholders. She hasn’t figured out how to discern between what really matters to her CEO and Board and what is just an idea—so she is just going to pile it on you. It is the senior leader equivalent of throwing spaghetti at a wall to see what sticks. It is a terrible strategy, but a lot more common than you’d think.

So it is up to you to figure out what matters most and what is actually doable. The first thing to do is create a matrix of all the projects and organize them by:

the ones that will make the biggest impact on revenue generation; and
the level of difficulty.

Since hitting or exceeding quota is job number one, prioritize everything that will help everyone to do that. Start with the least complicated and get a toehold on the more complex, longer term ones.

Everything else can get slotted into the calendar after these get going. You may or may not ever get to them—but if you are crushing the numbers and most important projects, it won’t matter that much. Then the projects that are still important will bubble to the top and the rest will just fade away.

Don’t forget that you have seven VPs, they all presumably have multiple directors, and you actually have 700 human beings to deploy to make this all happen. That is a lot of manpower available to you. Last time I checked, sales people tend to be very motivated by bonuses.

So sit down with your seven VPs and think this through. Spread the work. Be creative. Be clear about outcomes. Create timelines. Share them with your boss and invite feedback. You probably won’t get much—she obviously trusts your judgement.

You probably can’t get everything done, but you can absolutely get the most important things done.

Trust that your boss trusts you and that you will absolutely figure it out. Breathe, keep your wits about you, and rock on.

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Don’t Call It Return-to-Work—Call It a Needed Conversation

Britney Cole — Tue, 08 Jun 2021 13:15:00 +0000

A misnomer is floating around—the concept of return-to-work. This phrase conjures up images of coming back from a sabbatical, a leave of absence, or maternity/paternity leave. But today, return-to-work is used to describe how employees should return to the location where they did most of their work prior to the pandemic.

We have to be clear: this term is not about returning to work. Employees have been working—hard.

The issue employers are struggling with is the decision to return-to-office—and to what degree they should accommodate employee preference. Just as important is the question of what employees can do when they are not aligned with their employer’s desires—and subsequent policies—about returning to the office full time. How do organizations develop a strategy that both addresses safety and shapes policy? How do leaders flex and have conversations with their employees when preference and policy aren’t aligned?

Balancing Safety and Increased Flexibility

Most organizations today are trying to determine if formal policies should dictate an employee’s work environment. Prior to the pandemic, work-from-home policies existed but weren’t widely adopted.

Now, as requirements begin to relax, organizations find themselves at a crossroads. What policy updates should be made, if any? Should organizations mandate that employees be vaccinated and return to the office? When should organizations encourage working remotely vs. working from the office? How should organizations accommodate employee preference?

For instance, Microsoft has prioritized physical, mental, and emotional well-being to guide decision making. The office is a place where employees and teams can choose to come together to innovate and collaborate. The focus isn’t on return-to-office, but on flexibility in the environments where employees and teams prefer to do their best work.

Enabling People to Do Their Best Work

Leaders have an opportunity to interpret evolved policies and navigate their people’s anxiety, uncertainty, and preferences in a way that is a win-win for both employer and employee. Keeping an open mind and flexing leadership styles based on each employee’s individual needs is leading in a way that allows for a hybrid approach to management.

To lead employees through continued change and evolution, leaders must:

Adopt a learning-focused mindset. Employees are going to have concerns about returning to the office. Leaders need to explore the views of each employee and realize the leader’s and the organization’s views may contrast with those of the employee. Even though many employees are ready to return to the office, not all are.
Identify blind spots. Organizations and leaders are making assumptions about what employees want right now. Some employees have strong feelings about continuing to work remotely rather than returning to the office five days a week. How might leaders partner with their employees to develop a plan that honors organizational policy as well as individual employee preferences?
Be curious. Leaders must ask what employees want—genuinely ask, and listen to the answer. Leaders also need to ask if they see themselves remaining with the organization if there is a mandate either for continuing to work from home or for returning to the office. When leaders are sincere and humbly inquisitive, employees are more apt to share and less likely to minimize their needs and feelings.

This is a time to be transparent and direct about the direction of the organization and the strategy for whether to return-to-office. It’s also a time to listen attentively to employee preferences and desires—consider it a temperature check of your team. Otherwise, all the productivity gains made with remote work will reverse and employees will look for new ways to do their best work—at a different organization.

Editor’s Note: Would you like to learn more about successfully navigating the future of the work environment? Join us for a free webinar. Over the next five weeks, The Ken Blanchard Companies® is hosting weekly webinars focused on the different aspects of work post-COVID. Join us for one, two, or all five events. The series is free, courtesy of The Ken Blanchard Companies. Learn more here.

About the Author

Britney Cole is Associate Vice President, Solutions Architecture and Innovation Strategy at The Ken Blanchard Companies. With more than 15 years’ experience in organization development, performance improvement, and corporate training across all roles, Britney brings a pragmatic and diverse perspective to the way adults desire to learn on the job.

Are You a Directive or a Supportive Leader?

Ken Blanchard — Thu, 20 May 2021 10:45:00 +0000

I’m excited to announce that The Ken Blanchard Companies has just made available a free ebook that provides practical information and easy-to-use tools to increase your leadership effectiveness.

If you’re familiar with my work, you know I’m a big believer in “different strokes for different folks”—meaning that I believe there is no best leadership style; the most effective leaders adapt their style to the development level of the person being led. This is the essence of SLII®.

Here are some of the assets you’ll receive in the free ebook:

Leadership Style Quiz: Becoming aware of your default leadership style can help you improve your ability to influence others. Do you tend to be a more directive leader or a more supportive leader? Take our quiz to find out.
Summary of SLII® Leadership Styles, Skills, and Micro Skills: The ebook summarizes the four SLII® leadership styles, the three SLII® leadership skills, plus the fourteen SLII® micro skills—a very handy overview for busy managers!
Strengths and Weaknesses Quiz: SLII® teaches that people go through four development stages on any goal or task: Enthusiastic Beginner, Disillusioned Leader, Capable But Cautious Contributor, and Self-Reliant Achiever.

Blanchard research conducted with tens of thousands of leaders has found that only 1 percent of leaders are able to successfully match the needs of all four development stages. A majority of leaders—54 percent—use their default style with everyone. As you might imagine, this is not terribly effective!

Our Strengths and Weaknesses Quiz will improve your effectiveness by raising your awareness about your own leadership style and showing you when and how to adapt your style to the situation.

Concise and loaded with insights, our new SLII® ebook is a valuable tool for every leader. To download your free copy, follow this link: https://resources.kenblanchard.com/ebooks/are-you-a-directive-or-supportive-leader

Identifying and Managing your Span of Control with Carey Lohrenz

Vicki Stanford — Tue, 18 May 2021 14:43:41 +0000

As one of the first female F-14 Tomcat fighter pilots in the US Navy, Carey Lohrenz knows all about pressure. During her intense training, she learned critical lessons about navigating in the most demanding, high-pressure environment imaginable—the cockpit of an F-14 fighter jet. The genius of her latest book, Span of Control, is how she applies those lessons to everyday life and shows you how to do the same.

Lohrenz shares a process for managing uncertainty, stress, anxiety, and pressure to not only survive, but to thrive. The first step is to define the signs of crisis in your life so you can begin to take control. Once you are aware of what is causing the most stress, Lohrenz explains how to shift your mindset to focus on the most important things, define what you can and can’t control, and make better decisions. The last step is to create a personal action plan for moving forward that is based on a simple yet profound framework:

Focus on what matters most by identifying your top three priorities and removing distractions.
Formulate a flight plan for success by preparing, performing, prevailing, and never leaving success to chance.
Communicate what’s possible and make sure it is concise, clear, and consistent.

Lohrenz offers powerful coaching throughout the book. One of her most impactful quotes tells us where to begin: “I gave up feeling like I had to be able to do everything right. I had to give up right for right for the moment.”

Span of Control is not only a great read filled with research and personal stories, it is a guidebook complete with step-by-step activities to help you take charge of your life. Be prepared to use the tools in this book to harness opportunities you might be missing and to take action. Give yourself the time to do the work Lohrenz presents, and you’ll navigate fear, ambiguity, and uncertainty to succeed in a difficult—or even chaotic—work environment.

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Carey Lohrenz, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today.

For more information about Carey Lohrenz, visit www.careylohrenz.com.
To pre-order Span of Control by Carey Lohrenz, click here.

Want to Lead a Successful Change? Involve Your People!

Ken Blanchard — Wed, 28 Apr 2021 01:39:39 +0000

As so many industries are beginning the long challenge of recovering from the pandemic, organizational change seems to be happening everywhere. The first issue many organizations must deal with when planning a change is finding an effective leadership approach that encourages large numbers of people to buy into a change at the same time. What most leaders don’t understand is that change will not succeed when:

Top executives make all the decisions behind closed doors,
They announce the change in an all-company meeting, and
Everyone is expected to immediately get on board.

The best way to initiate change is to involve as many people as possible in the change process. Why? Our research shows that when you invite your people to participate in a change initiative, they will be much more likely to embrace the change and to influence their coworkers to participate. This high involvement, collaborative approach that involves all parties is far more effective than the minimal involvement, top-down strategy—which, according to Gartner Research, is still used by more than 80 percent of organizations. Top-down change typically results in short-term compliance, slower implementation, and marginal results. But involving people at all levels of an organization in the change results in faster implementation, increased commitment to the change, and more sustainable results.

When change initiatives go well, they improve innovation, creativity, productivity, engagement, and employee retention. When they don’t go well, it’s a waste of time, energy, and resources—and company morale plummets.

Contrary to what some believe, people don’t actually resist change. They resist being controlled. High involvement in the change process by those who will be impacted by the change lessens their feelings of being controlled and builds momentum for the needed change.

Leaders working with people during a high involvement change process must anticipate and manage the five stages of concern people are likely to go through: Information (What is the change about?), Personal (How will the change affect me?), Implementation (How is this change going to work?), Impact (Is the change worth our effort?), and Refinement (Are we trusted to lead the change going forward?).

Change leaders who are effective at addressing these five stages of concern can often minimize or resolve these concerns. When you use a series of change leadership strategies to create an inspiring vision for your people, build a clear plan, show proof the change is working, and ultimately allow people to lead the change, your organization will be more successful at navigating the process of change.

Frame the case for change/create an inspiring vision (Information/Personal concerns)

In order to frame a compelling case for change, leaders need to first describe the gap between what is and what could be. When leaders paint an inspiring vision—a picture of the future where people can see themselves succeeding—people will have fewer personal concerns and be more likely to support the change.

2. Build the change plan and infrastructure (Personal/Implementation concerns)

High involvement change leaders work with people to uncover obstacles to implementation and create a realistic change plan. When they get to collaborate this way, people feel better about the change because they have some influence on successfully implementing it.

3. Strengthen the change (Implementation/Impact concerns)

This is where leaders share information, stories, and data to prove the change is working. They model the mindset and behaviors they expect from others and have discussions with anyone who remains resistant to the change to ensure that everyone is accountable for implementing the change.

4. Entrust the change leadership to others (Impact/Refinement concerns)

Once people’s concerns about the success of the change are taken care of, leaders can begin to rely on their people to help lead the change. Daily responsibilities can be delegated to others while the leader remains available for support if problems arise.

I’ve been known to say that great leaders treat their people as their business partners. High involvement change leadership is a perfect example of this. When leaders involve their people in making important decisions throughout the change process, their people feel respected—and respect leads to trust. When your people truly trust you as their leader, they will want to do their best work to ensure the success of your organization’s change initiative.

Want to Be A Better Coach? Ask Madeleine

Madeleine Homan Blanchard — Sat, 24 Apr 2021 10:46:00 +0000

Smiling businesswoman in client meeting in office conference room

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Aloha Madeleine,

I’m currently a Human Resources director in the hospitality industry. I believe right now, more than ever, our industry needs strong coaches.

What resources can you share to help me strengthen these skills through self-learning? Any suggestions you have would be most welcome! Mahalo!

Want to Be a Better Coach

________________________________________________________________

Dear Want to Be a Better Coach,

Well, thanks for asking. What a fun question. Where to begin? Why not with your greeting? I looked up the meaning of Aloha, because I had always heard that it meant so much more than hello or goodbye, and I found this:

“Aloha is an essence of being: love, peace, compassion, and a mutual understanding of respect. Aloha means living in harmony with the people and land around you with mercy, sympathy, grace and kindness. When greeting another person with aloha, there is mutual regard and affection. This extends with warmth in caring for the other, with no obligation to receive anything in return. The direct translation from Hawaiian to English is the presence of divine breath. The Hawaiian word alo is presence, front, and face, and ha is breath.

Choosing to step into the spirit of Aloha would be a very good place to start because it is so close to what I think of as the Coaching Mindset. The Coaching Mindset is the willingness to put yourself at service to someone else. As a discipline, coaching requires us to be aware of and manage our natural tendencies and to self-regulate to create an environment in which another can stay totally focused on their own thought process, enjoy new insights, and feel galvanized to take action.

So many people think that coaching is about giving advice or telling others what to do. What we know is that the best use of coaching is to develop people by evoking their own brilliance, connecting to their own motivation, and empowering them to take the action that will most likely help them achieve their goals.

If you ask 10 people, you will get 10 different definitions of coaching. Here is how we define it:

Coaching is a deliberate process that uses focused conversations that create an environment in which an individual will experience accelerated performance and development. It is a relationship between an individual, small group, or team and a coach, driven by specific objectives and expected outcomes. Coaching helps people identify and focus on what they can do to achieve their goals. It supports deep insights and promotes clear thinking and thoughtful, targeted action.

I highly recommend that even as you say you want to be a better coach, you define exactly what that means to you. Ask yourself:

Who do you want to be a better coach for?
For what purpose?
What will you offer people as a coach?
How will they know what to ask for and how to ask for it?
How will you know you are successful as you improve?

We break down the journey to coaching competence as understanding and developing a coaching mindset, refining some key skills, and learning a solid, replicable coaching process.

Mindset. What is your purpose as a coach? What are your natural tendencies, opinions, agendas/judgments, or core needs that will get in your way; for example: your need to be right, your need to show you have the answers, your opinions about the person or the organization, your tendency to interrupt? Are there any other habits that might get in your way?
Skill Set. Much has been written about coaching skills, so I am not going to belabor that topic here. What I will say (that no one else really seems to be saying) is that the number one skill to work on is self-regulation. Until you master your natural tendencies to have the answer, tell people what to do, interrupt, and ask questions to satisfy your own curiosity instead of sparking insight for the other person, none of the other skills matter. The traditional skills are listening, asking questions, goal setting, challenging, and creating accountability. The ICF website has an exhaustive list of competencies.
Process. There are many versions of coaching processes out there and most of them are fine. Don’t be fooled by any process that promises you a clean, linear path, because it will fail you. Humans process thoughts and feelings more like pinballs than arrows—you need whatever process you use to accommodate that reality.

Resources I can point you to? Yikes. The field is crowded and attracting new entrants every day.

I can’t honestly pretend that I don’t think our one-day C oaching Essentials training isn’t tops. (Hello? I am one of the authors.) I have been teaching coaching skills in organizations since 1995. I also wrote a book with Linda Miller called Coaching in Organizations. It is an oldie but it has a bunch of good, timeless info on process, skills, and all the different ways coaching can be leveraged in organizations.

There is a crazy amazing resource I love: The Library of Professional Coaching. It is a beautifully organized treasure trove for coaches at all levels.

Another organization to check out is WBECS—The World Business and Executive Coaching Summit. They host a coaching summit every year that offers extraordinary value to coaches at all levels. They invite the who’s who of the coaching world to present and share the latest topics of interest and it is very high quality stuff.

There are a bunch of different associations for coaches, and I am familiar with only one: The International Coaching Federation. It is the biggest and oldest, and it has the greatest reach. If you decide to do a full coach training program (which I recommend long term if you love it), make sure you do one that is accredited by the ICF.

I am buried in books on coaching. There are so darn many, but my current faves are:

Coach the Person; Not the Problem by Marcia Reynolds
Michael Bungay Stanier’s two books, The Coaching Habit and The Advice Trap. Those two books are so good I wish I had written them. That is about the highest praise I can think of.
An oldie that I just took off the dusty shelf and am still impressed by is Coaching Questions: A Coach’s Guide to Powerful Asking Skills by Tony Stoltzfus.
One of my blogs from 2017 has more info on books, including some recommendations from our Blanchard coaches: 9 Books on Coaching that Coaches Need to Know About

And that’s just to get you started, heh heh.

In short, start with the spirit of Aloha. Then shut up, listen, and inquire to spark insight (theirs, not yours). You will be amazed at the magic those few steps can create.

So “Noʻu ka hauʻoli”—Google tells me that means “the pleasure is mine.” You are most welcome. And Aloha to you!

Love, Madeleine

About Madeleine

Unlock Your Hidden Genius with Victoria Labalme

Vicki Stanford — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 14:16:12 +0000

For years, Victoria Labalme thought she couldn’t succeed without a clear plan. She made choices along the way that were not typical but felt right to her. Even when she felt like she was falling behind, she kept pursuing what interested her. One day, out of nowhere, she received a call that changed the course of her life. Looking back, she realized that the times she had started a project, trip, or dream without having a plan or an expected outcome were the times she had the best results—because she had kept moving forward, not knowing where things would lead. Those times led to her ultimate success.

In her new book, Risk Forward: Embrace the Unknown and Unlock your Hidden Genius, Labalme shares strategies that will help you, too, move through uncertainty and achieve success you wouldn’t have thought possible.

Labalme presents these strategies, developed through 25 years of performance coaching, in a unique, easy to read format. She encourages you to use Risk Forward as a guidebook and focus on whatever thought-provoking activities stimulate you to action. It isn’t a book that needs to be read from front to back. You can open it to any page and be enticed with an exercise to challenge your thinking and help you identify possibilities you otherwise might not have considered.

Labalme shares the most important question you must ask yourself to identify what really matters. She also offers four insights to help you find your way and three questions to ask when you need advice. With chapter titles like Embrace the Fog, Begin from Within, and Honor Your Instincts, this book will have you looking at opportunities with a brand new mindset.

Risk Forward is filled with real-life stories along with practical tips and tools to help you put your talents to work and chart your own path to success. If you’re ready to do the work, this book is for you. To quote the author: “Some people in life know exactly what they want to achieve. This is a book for the rest of us.”

To hear host Chad Gordon interview Victoria Labalme, listen to the LeaderChat podcast and subscribe today.

For more information about Victoria Labalme, go to www.riskforward.com/book or www.victorialabalme.com